Monthly Archives: March 2015

Friday Funny March 6, 2015 Wedded Bliss

beautiful-pic-of-wedding-ring-with-high-resolution-gold-wedding-rings-free-stock-photo

Happy Friday!  Happy March!!  Believe or not spring is only 15 days away!!!

This Friday is not just any day, it is my wedding anniversary.  So, this Friday here are some marriage-themed jokes chosen especially for you.

Enjoy!

My wife says that she does not know where she would be without me, she has, however, said she would like to go there for a visit sometime.

The other day I asked my wife, “What do you love most about me; my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?” Here response was that she loved my great sense of humor.

A few weeks ago my wife and I were out at the mall and passed one those scales were you drop in a quarter and it tells your fortune as well as your weight.  I dropped in a quarter and read the small, white card that popped out. I showed my wife. “Look at this! It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover.” “Yeah,” she nodded, “and it has your weight wrong, too.”

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car or the wife is new.

A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.

During a fight, a husband threw a bowl of Jello at his wife. She had him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.

One day a man who had been married for many years was looking for something in the closet when he stumbled upon a shoe box in the closet.  Upon opening it, he was quite surprised to find 2 doilies and $85,000 in cash.  Quite confused, he asked his wife if the box was hers.  She confirmed that it was and he asked what the contents meant.  She explained “when we got married my mother told me that every time I got upset with you, I should crochet a doily.” Well the old gentleman was quite touched thinking that over all the years of their marriage she had only been mad twice.  He wiped a small tear from his eye and asked what the $85,000 came from.  “Oh that,” she replied,”..that’s the money I’ve made over the years from selling doilies.”

Thought for the Week

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret

http://www.quotegarden.com

Advertisements

And In Today’s Forecast There Is A One Hundred Percent Chance of Weather

weather-clip-art-inclement_weather_Clip_Art

 

Although the calendar says March, there is still snow on the ground and the forecast says that there will be several more inches of snow tomorrow.  So, once again everyone is tasked with running to the grocery and buying milk, bread and eggs in case they get stranded inside for six hours or so during the day.  (Apparently the onset of snow causes most people to have an insatiable  appetite for french toast, this is another mystery for another day.)

But as I sit here pondering my plans for tomorrow I think about all the freezing rain that was in today’s forecast that did not happen.  I think about the major snowstorms in December and January that did not happen.  I think about the temperature forecast that have been off by more than twenty degrees and I wonder if it will really snow tomorrow.

I remember reading an article in the local paper last fall that really went out on a limb by predicting that this winter the temperature would be “above normal, below normal, or close to normal.”   I am certain that took a lot of work and professional judgement and I will admit they nailed that one.  Of course I understand that Mother Nature is temperamental and unpredictable.  I know that weather forecasting is as much an art as a science, but it seems like the artwork has been pretty ugly lately!   

From the exhaustive research I have conducted on the internet over the last five minutes, it appears that weather predictions, like all predictions, become less reliable over time.  You can place a little more faith in what you local weather person says the weather will be tomorrow that what he says it will be on Sunday.  This reminded me of the weatherman on Channel 2 in Dayton, Ohio in the 70’s.  The two most memorable things I recall about him were that 1) he had one of the best names for a weatherman, Dewey Hopper and 2) his very short-term forecasts were always right because instead of being in the studio, he did the weather outside in the parking lot so he could tell you if it was raining at the moment.

So, here is my long-term forecast:  there will be a gradual warming trend as the days grow longer until the latter part of June.  There will be intermittent sunshine mixed with rain and the occasional possibility of severe weather.