Happy Friday! The summer travel season is upon us and that means many of us will be hitting the road. So, here are a few car related jokes to kick off your weekend,
Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs agent stops them and says, “Sorry, it’s illegal for you to have five people in a Quattro.”
“What do you mean it’s illegal?” ask the Englishmen.
“Well, Quattro means four,” replies the Italian official.
“Quattro is just the name of the automobile,” the Englishmen retort. “Look, there are five seat belts in the car: this car is designed to carry five persons.”
“Well, you can’t pull that one on ME,” replies the Italian customs agent. “Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law.”
The Englishmen replies angrily, “You idiot! Call your supervisor over—I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!”
“Sorry,” responds the Italian official, “he can’t come. He’s busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno.”
A motorist runs a red light and is photographed by an automated police camera. In the mail a short time later, he receives a photo of his car committing the infraction and a citation for $60. Instead of paying the fine, the motorist mails the police department a photograph of three $20 bills. Several days later, he gets a letter back from the police department. Inside is a photograph of a pair of handcuffs.
Bobby was driving down the road and a met a car coming the other way. Although there was room to pass easily, Bobby forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted ‘Pig’. The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. A few seconds late, his car hit the pig.
A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the interstate. Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the young lady, who was driving, was knitting.
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, ‘PULL OVER!’
‘NO’, the young lady yelled back, ‘IT’s A SCARF!’
A guy walks into a shop and says: “I’d like a gas cap for my Yugo.” The owner thinks for a few seconds and replies: “OK, that seems like a fair trade.”
Thought of the Week
One cannot waste time. We can only waste ourselves. ~George M. Adams