Perhaps it is mere coincidence, perhaps it is just weird, perhaps it is a sign of the coming apocalypse. I do not know, but for whatever reason there have recently been stories involving cows in the news from coast to coast. First there was a story out of Suffield, Connecticut about a pair of cows who had escaped from their pens and were found near the front door of a house. Local police tried to paint this in a humorous light and warned residents not to open their doors to “any unfamiliar cattle” and posted on Facebook that two “suspicious males” were going door-to-door “trying to sell dairy products.” Perhaps this was humorous or perhaps there is something a little more sinister involved. Perhaps the cows intentions were innocent and they just wanted to come in, sit down, take a load off their feet and chew the cud with the locals. Or perhaps this was just the first step in a planned takeover by the cows?
Now there is a story from the West Coast out of Beaumont, California about a report of someone “seeing a cow trying to climb out of a small car parked alongside an interstate.” When authorities responded they found one calf “trying to escape” from an open truck and another crammed into the floor of the backseat. The car had not been reported as stolen and was registered to an address some 250 miles away. Maybe they were not trying to escape from the car, maybe the car was the mode of escape for the calves. Of course the car was stolen – where would two calves earn enough money to buy a car for their getaway? Again people are laughing.
But could this be the beginning of a pattern? Are cows feed up and ready to rise up and proclaim their beef to the rest of the world? There may be more at steak here than meets the eye. Then again perhaps I am merely spouting udder nonsense. I could go on for heifer and heifer, but I think I have milked this for all I can.