Friday Funny September 29, 2017 Random Jokes

Happy Friday!  This week brings us to the end of September and some random jokes to kick off your weekend.

Enjoy!

I used to have a dog that would always chase people on a bike.  It got to be so bad, that I finally had to take his bike away.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lack toes!

I called the hospital but the line was dead.

Can you make a hot dog stand if you take away its chair?

The other day I went to the Doctor.  He asked why I was there, I told him I had this strange feeling that I was a deck of cards.  He told me to go sit in the waiting room and he would deal with me in a few minutes.

Another time I went to see the doctor because I had a strawberry growing out of my arm.  The doctor gave me some cream to put on it.

I once swallowed eight plastic horses.  They admitted me to the hospital in stable condition.

I saw this really slick Spanish magician.  For his finale, he said he was going to disappear at the count of three. He started to count, “Un, dos…” then poof! He vanished without a tres.

The other day I heard music coming out of my printer.  Apparently, the paper was jamming again.

I told my wife that I could build a car out of spaghetti. She said it could not be done. She sure looked surprised as I drove pasta.

Thought for the Week

Some see a hopeless end, while others see an endless hope. ~Author Unknown

http://www.quotegarden.com

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