Friday Funny April 13, 2018 Timely Humor

Happy Friday the 13th!  Never fear, there will be no triskaidekaphobia here just a few quick jokes to help you pass the time this Friday.

Enjoy!

I realized that I cannot see an end. I have no control and I don’t think there’s an escape. Plus I don’t have a home anymore. It is definitely time to replace my keyboard.

When a was a kid I threw a boomerang away. I live in fear to this day.

Time is a great teacher but a lousy beautician.

Those who do not learn from the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

I once dated a girl who would hit me with stringed instruments. I wish I had known about her history of violins.

I feel more like I do now that I did a little while ago.

They say that all the dinosaurs were wiped out by an asteroid hitting the earth 66 million years ago. That is tragic, but you do wonder why they were all standing in the same place.

The other day I ran into an old friend. I noticed he had 8 watches on one wrist and 4 on the other. He said that lately he had a lot of time on his hands.

The other day I ran into an analytical young man who was not very successful in romantic relationships. He tried to get to the root cause, he made a graph of all his past relationships, it has an ex axis and a why axis.

The other day and I making my lunch and as I was putting mustard on my sandwich and I had that strange feeling I had already done that. I think it was Dijon-vu!

I have an 8:30 dinner reservation tonight. That’s like midnight in middle-age time.

The next time the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.

I was going to add a few jokes some about watches and clocks, but I ran out of time.

Thought for the Week

The time is always right to do what is right. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

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