Happy Friday!  Another work week is winding down. So, here is a baker’s dozen of elephant jokes to brighten your day.  I know you will groan, but I bet you will tell at least one of them to someone today!

Enjoy!

Q: What do you call an elephant that rides a bus?
A: A passenger.

Q: Why don’t African elephants like to play cards?
A: Because of all the cheetahs.

Q: What kind of elephants live at the North Pole?
A: Cold ones.

Q: How do elephants talk to each other?
A: By ’elephone.

Q: Where do you find elephants?
A: It depends on where you left them.

Q: Why don’t elephants ride bicycles?
A: They don’t have thumbs to ring the bell.

Q: What weighs 5,000 pounds and wears glass slippers?
A: Cinderelephant!

Q: What did the cat say to the elephant?
A: “Meow!”

Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Don’t be silly, elephants can’t change light bulbs!

Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing red sweatshirts?
A: They’re all on the same team.

Q: How do you fit 5 elephants in a Volkswagen Beetle?
A: Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.

Q: What do elephants do for laughs?
A: They tell people jokes.

Thought for the Week

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.  How he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know” ~ Groucho Marx

 

Happy Friday!  We are definitely in the midst of summer.  The days are long and hot! Here a few tips you might want to try to help you beat the heat this weekend.

Enjoy!

Wear lighter color clothes, preferable made of cotton – try picking out your clothes before you go to bed and put them in the refrigerator over night.

If your feet are hot, your feel hot all over – so when you pick out your socks, put them in the freezer overnight.

While you are in the freezer, grab an ice tray and some food coloring and make some festive ice cubes.  In the morning when yo are pulling your socks out, make an ice-cube necklace or bracelet.  This is a great and cool way to accessorize your summer look.

Make a trip to the grocery store.  Most likely they are air-conditioned, so you can cool off as you shop.  If you are lucky you can find a fairly empty freezer in one of the aisles that will be empty enough for you to lie down in and take a quick, cool nap before management escorts you out of the store,

On your way out of the grocery be sure to pick up some frozen dinners.  It is too hot to cook.  If you like your food extra cool and crispy skip the over and the microwave and just eat the dinner frozen.  

Another item to pick up on your way out of the grocery is some dry ice.  This is perfect for a quick cool down for that hot cup of coffee.  As an added bonus, you drop just a little bit into your cup at work and it will look like steam rising from you coffee.  You can walk away from your office for hours and everyone who comes looking for you will think, “gee I just missed him/her because he/she just stepped away from a hot cup of coffee.”

Bring a sprinkler with you to the office.  It will cool everyone down and build camaraderie at the same time.  You might want to cover your computer with plastic first.

Remember as a kid how you loved a good water balloon fight to cool you down?  Take it the next level and leave the water balloons in the freezer overnight

Rent a Zamboni and get a nice layer of ice down on your driveway.  Slide, skate, just sit down on it or start-up a neighborhood hockey game.

Finally here is a great two-step process for a cool nights sleep.  First find that old water bed mattress that is gathering dust in the attic, then rent an Icee machine,  Fill the water-bed full of Icee and a cool, refreshing night awaits.

Thought for the Week

Then followed that beautiful season… Summer….
Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; and the landscape
Lay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

http://www.quotegarden.com