Monthly Archives: July 2022

Friday Funny July 29, 2022 Today I Am Feeling Old

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Happy Friday and Happy End of July!  Some days I look around me and I just feel old – today is one of those days.

Enjoy!

I’m so old that I remember when the high beam button was on the floorboard.

I’m so old that I remember having to spin the wheel to make a phone call.

I’m so old that I remember punch cards and even had to use them to write a computer program.

I’m so old that I remember walking across the room to change the TV station – and there were only 3 to choose from.

I‘m so old that I remember having 33, 45 and 78 rpm recordings.

I’m so old that I remember when cutting edge music was on vinyl THEN cassette THEN 8 track THEN CD’s THEN streaming.

I’m so old that I remember using the card catalog and the Readers’ Guide to Periodical Literature.

I’m so old that I remember when baseball cards came with a stick of very hard bubblegum.

I’m so old that I remember mimeograph pages and thermal faxes.

I’m so old that I remember when Saturday morning was about the only time you could see cartoons.

I’m so old I remember when the Borden Milk Man delivered to your door.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“I am so old that I can remember when other people’s achievements were considered to be an inspiration, rather than a grievance.” ~ Thomas Sowell

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Friday Funny July 22, 2022

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Happy Friday!  It seems like people are getting sillier every day.  I do not know why, but this week I wanted to share about some of my silly friends.

Enjoy!

I had a friend who is so silly, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

I had a friend who is so silly, he went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.

I had a friend who is so silly, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

I had a friend who is so silly, he took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

I had a friend who is so silly, she wonders why so many people tell her that running is bad for your niece.

I had a friend who is so silly, he tripped over a cordless phone.

I had a friend who is so silly, she thinks Fleetwood Mac was a new hamburger at McDonald’s.

I had a friend who is so silly, he thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a new expansion team in the NBA.

I had a friend who is so silly, she thought Tiger Woods was a forest in India.

I had a friend who is so silly, he thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish Holiday.

I had a friend who is so silly, she uses Old Spice for cooking.

I had a friend who was so silly, he thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.” ~ W.C. Fields

Friday Funny July 15, 2022 Inflation Jokes

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Happy Friday! The economy seems to be taking its lumps these days and the price of everything is on the way up. I cannot help you with the prices, but I can offer you a laugh or two about them.

Enjoy!

In today’s economy, it seems like if you can finally make ends meet, inflation moves the ends.

Inflation is a lot like toothpaste, once it is out, it is very difficult to get it back in again.

I went to one of those internet sites that will estimate the value of your car.  It asked if the tank was empty or full.

I heard that the price of grapes has gone up because there was a raisin demand.

Now that Tom Brady has retired from football, I heard he is considering running for President. His platform will be lowering inflation.

I think I am a walking illustration of today’s economy: my hairline is in recession and my stomach is a victim of inflation – put these together and I am heading toward deep depression.

I remember as a kid I would put air in my bike tires for free. Now it’s $1.50! I guess that is because of “inflation.”

Inflation is bad, the other day I paid twenty dollars for the ten-dollar haircut I used to get for five dollars when I had more hair.

Inflation is really getting out of hand, but that is just my 4 1/2 cents.

I think there are a lot of jokes about inflation these days because demand has increased following a period of low interest….

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Every short statement about economics is misleading (with the possible exception of my present one).” ~ Alfred Marshall

Friday Funny July 8, 2022 Computer Jokes

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Happy Friday! Computers have infiltrated pretty much every aspect of our life, so we might as well have some computer jokes as well.

Enjoy!

Is it true that the computer was tired when it got home because if had had a hard drive?

Is it true that the computer crossed the road because it was programmed by a chicken?

If you crossed a computer programmer with an athlete, would you get a disk-us thrower?

Did the computer sneeze because if had a virus?

When computers get hungry do they eat chips?

The other day I went to a restaurant and a computer came up to me and said, “I’ll be your server today.”

My co-workers call me “The Computer”.  It has nothing to do with my intelligence. I just go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes

If you think that your computer, laptop and phone spying on you is scary then think again, because your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

Is it true that after work computer programmers go out and grab a byte?

Our computers went down at work today so we had to do everything manually.  It took me a few minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.

I was going to tell more jokes about computers, but they are not very PC.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window” ~Steve Wozniak