Monthly Archives: February 2019

Friday Funny February 15, 2019 Conversation Hearts

Happy Friday! Valentine’s Day is past and now you can concentrate on finding just the President’s Day gift!  But before Valentine’s Day fades to a memory, I wanted to think about Conversation Hearts.

Enjoy!

I would imagine that you are familiar with those little, chalky conversation hearts made by Necco – the same people who brought us thin, quarter-sized chalky wafers.  Did you even notice that they were nowhere to be found this Valentine’s Day?  Necco had a rough year in 2018, abruptly shutting down in July after an investment firm bought it in a bankruptcy auction. It was purchased by Spangler Candy Co. at the end of the third quarter but that was too late to get the little candy hears back in the conversation for Valentine’s Day 2019.  Perhaps they will be back for 2020.

Did you know that a serving is 25 hearts and that equates to 100 calories that are pretty much void of any nutritional value?   The ingredients are: Sugar, Corn Syrup, Corn Starch, Gelatin, Modified Food Starch, Natural & Artificial Flavors, Gum Arabic, Xanthan Gum, FD&C Colors.  Natural & Artificial flavors? – imagine that – they are actually supposed to have flavor!

They would make changes to the sayings each year to reflect trends in culture.  So, being the helpful person that I am, I thought I would offer some suggestions for the 2020 hearts that will help them get these back on the store shelves as soon as possible.

Recipe for Disaster

Snowflake

UR Subprime

YRU Still Here

# Go Away

1000x No

#1 Hater

Woot Woot

Evil Clown

Shoo

# Not Ever

Big Twitter Fan

#1 Loser

#No Way

I Googled U

#1 Troll

Epic Fail!

U R Elitist

No Swag

#1 Bae

Selfie

Meh

Chillax

Not Legit

Thought for the Week

“Valentine’s Day is a day to reflect on love – on love lost, love gained and love long remembered.” 

 

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A Very Difficult Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is almost here and you may still be searching for that perfect gift, planning that perfect evening or looking for just the right words to express how you feel.  

Over the years, my perception of Valentine’s Day has changed quite a bit.  I remember back in grade school, Valentine’s Day meant getting candy from Mom and, like Charlie Brown, hoping to get a Valentine Card from that “cute red-haired girl” in class.  Disappointments were mild in those days because I  got a card from EVERY girl as well as every boy in the class.

In the dating years, Valentine’s Day brought more pressure and expectations in trying to come up with the perfect card or the perfect gift for the girl I was dating if she was near enough to see or trying to come up with just the right phrase to put in a card to communicate my feelings to that special someone who was a thousand miles away physically but near to my heart.

After marriage, the focus of Valentine’s Day shifted again and as the years went on, the excitement and expectations began to wane and the routine became swinging by to pick up candy and flowers.  In recent years it has meant skipping the candy as we have become a little more calorie conscious. Yes, Valentine’s Day is still celebrated, but differently.

As my understanding of the day has changed over the years, I have come to realize that Valentine’s Day has become a day of reflection – a day to reflect on love – on love lost, love gained and love long remembered.

Valentine’s Day last year was indeed a day of reflection and it was my worst Valentine’s Day. It was also one of the most difficult days of my life.  It was the day we buried my Father.  As we prepared and reflected for the service, I was reminded that one of the best examples of love I have seen in my life was given to me by my Father.  It was not the squoosy, heart-skip-a-beat love like one might feel on a first date, that is a feeling and feeling can be fleeting.  The the kind of love that I saw in my Dad was love that is present every day in a million small ways.  It is the love that works long hours to provide a roof, food and clothes to a family.  It is a love that does not seek its own or draw attention to itself.  It is the love that keeps a marriage going strong for more than sixty-five years.  It is a love that sacrifices, puts others first, and just keeps giving. It was a love that never gave up and never stopped.

As the song from the 60’s told us 

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some but for everyone”

That is the type of love the world indeed needs now and the love that was modeled by my Father.  A little over a year ago, when we met at the funeral home to discuss the arrangements it appeared that Wednesday would work, it was brought up that the service would be Valentine’s Day.  My Mom’s response was that was OK because, “he was the love of my life.”  Burying my Dad on Valentine’s Day was not easy, but it was OK because I know that along with my Mom, my Brother, my Sister and I were the loves of his life.  

Friday Funny February 8, 2019 Lines Not Found on Valentine’s Day Cards

Happy Friday!  You have survived Groundhog’s Day and now it is time to get ready for Valentine’s Day!  If you are having trouble finding that card that is just right, I am here to help!  I have put together a few short verses below that I am pretty sure you will not find on a card down at the local Hallmark store, so feel free to do a little cut and past to make a unique card for that special someone in your life.

Enjoy!

Some Things You Might Not Find on a Valentine’s Day Card

Cupid has struck
With a bow from his quiver
And with my bad luck                                                                                                                                    It hit my liver

When I see you, my hands start to shake
Like when I’ve eaten bad shake ‘n bake
My heart beats fast like never before
Then I faint and hit the floor

Roses are red,                                                                                                                                                Violets are blue,                                                                                                                                            I guess wherever you are,                                                                                                                        It is Valentine’s Day too.

Fountains mingle with the rivers                                                                                                              And the rivers with the ocean                                                                                                 Valentine cards tend to be clever                                                                                                       But this one lacks emotion.

This valentine poem is a reminder
not only of how much you are treasured                                                                                        But also, that not all poems rhyme

A Few Quick Valentine Jokes

For Valentines Day think about your current and past relationships, then organize the data on a chart using an Ex-Axis and a Why-Axis.

They say that grocery store flowers on Valentine’s Day shows someone you care slightly more than not at all.

What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purrr-fect for me!

Thought for the Week

Loving is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand, and Stars, 1939

http://www.quotegarden.com

Have We Seen the Future?

I recently came across a story about a self-driving car  hitting and “killing” a humanoid robot.  If you have not see the shocking video – it can be found at this link:  https://www.techworm.net/2019/01/self-driving-tesla-autonomous-robot-ces.html

I wondered it this was a glimpse into our future.  Is the future where the “internet of things” is taking us?  Will it be a bleak, dystopian future where we are all plugged into the matrix to provide power for the machines that have rebelled and taken over?  Will self-driving cars turn out to be even worse drivers than humans?  Will we waste a good portion of our lives in virtual traffic jabs jams trying to get to our virtual jobs where we develop throbbing fingers from incessantly pushing a button like George Jetson?  These are questions that just cannot be answered in the present.

Decades before “The Matrix” portrayed us as simply batteries for the machines, Rod Serling also gave us a glimpse to the future of the relationship between man and machine on an episode of The Twilight Zone which aired in 1960.  In “A Thing About Machines”  Bartlett Finchley is a man who hates machines and lets them know it.  By the end of the episode even his electric razor is out for revenge on him and slithers down the stairs snake-like coming after him.

Who knows what the future holds?  I would suggest that you be nice to your machines today and hopefully they will be nice to you tomorrow.  I think I will file this blog under  ‘M’ for Machines – in the Twilight Zone.