Monthly Archives: October 2022

Friday Funny October 28, 2022 Even More Halloween Jokes

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Happy Friday! Trick or Treat is almost upon us, so get that bowl of candy ready and keep an eye out for The Great Pumpkin.

Enjoy!

Do you know you have been ghosted when the poltergeist does not text you back.\?

When a ghost mom puts her kids in a car does she remind them to fasten their sheet-belts

Did you hear about the mummy who was kicked out the the witch’s school because it could not spell?

Would you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts a Pharaoh Roche?

Is it true that a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor is vein-illa.?

Did you hear about the skeleton beauty contest? No body won.

Did you hear about the skeleton who went to the new night club in town because he heard it was a hip joint?

If witches wear shoes that are too tight do they get candy corns?

Is it true that girl ghosts go on diets so they can keep their ghoulish figures?

Is it true that werewolves never know what time it is because they are not  whenwolves?

Did you hear about the pumpkin preacher? He spoke from the pulp-it.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.” —Robert Brault

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Friday Funny October 21, 2022 Jokes You Need Not Fear.

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Happy Friday!  We are starting to see a lot of spooky decorations on houses and horror movies on TV, but here are some jokes that you have no need to fear.

Enjoy!

If you have an irrational fear of Vietnamese soup, is that a Pho-bia?

If you have an irrational fear of Giants, do you have Fi Fo-bia?

If you have an irrational fear of overengineered buildings arranged near each other is that a complex complex complex?

I have developed an irrational fear of agoraphobics. Fortunately, I don’t see them out that much.

I have developed an irrational fear of elevators and I am taking steps to avoid them.

I have developed an irrational fear of airline boarding queues, it appears to be a terminal illness.

I have developed an irrational fear of playing cards, but I a dealing with it.

I have developed an irrational fear of negative numbers and I will stop at nothing to avoid them.

I have developed an irrational fear about this recession and I fear that I may go bald.

I was hesitant to send out a bunch of phobia jokes, I was afraid no one would think they were funny.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.”~-Louisa May Alcott

Friday Funny October 14, 2022 Jokes That Mean Business

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Happy Friday!  It looks like fall has started to arrive with the leaves changing colors and starting to fall.  As we wrap up another work week, here are some work-related jokes.

Enjoy!

My boss tasked me with setting up the company’s 401k. I am pretty nervous about it; I do not think I can run that far.

My boss told me that he expects me to be on call 24/7. No big deal, the 24th of July is nine months away.

My boss asked if I could perform under pressure. I said, “No, but I can do a pretty mean Bohemian Rhapsody”

My boss doesn’t tolerate any beards or mustaches. He’s a real shave driver.

My boss said he races horses. I said, “Wow, you must be a really fast runner!”

When I arrived at work this morning, my boss handed me a brochure on anger management. I just lost it.

I bought my boss some maracas for Christmas. He keeps talking about how he wants to shake things up.

I got fired from my job at the coffee factory. My boss said it was because I had no filter.

I told my boss that I was tired of being a human cannonball.  Then he fired me. I wonder how long it will take them to find a replacement of my caliber?

I recently quit my job to start a cloning business and it’s been great; I love being my own boss.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere.” ~ Charles Kettering

Friday Funny, October 7, 2022 More Fall Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Fall is in air as the temperature cools and the leaves are beginning to change. Here are a few crisp jokes to kick off your weekend.

Enjoy!

If a tree takes a week of vacation in the fall, would it be called paid leaf?

Did you hear about the pumpkin that lost the boxing match? Seems he let his gourd down.

Is it true that trees hate going to school in the fall because they are easily stumped?

Is the best band to listen to in autumn The Pumpkin Spice Girls?

The other day I went to an apple library and I was reminded to talk with my in-cider voice.

I heard that Voltaire’s favorite dessert was Candide apples.

If you hunt wild boar in the fall, is it best to use an autumn-atic rifle?

I always carry a stone with me that I use to throw at people who play Christmas music in October.  I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.

I signed up to be part of a clinical trial to be done in October, it might be a trick or treatment.

October 10th promises to be a great day – 10/10

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“It’s the first day of autumn! A time of hot chocolatey mornings, and toasty marshmallow evenings, and, best of all, leaping into leaves!” ~ Winnie The Pooh