Monthly Archives: May 2022

Friday Funny May 13, 2022 More Vacation Jokes

Happy Friday!  It has felt like summer this week and when it feels like summer it gets one thinking about vacation. So pack your bag for laughs.

Enjoy!

I didn’t realize how bad of a driver I was until my Tom Tom said, “In 1000 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out.”

I had to tell my suitcases there will be no vacation this summer. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.

I read a story about a pilot who decided to cook whilst flying? It was a recipe for disaster.

I tried to sue the airline for misplacing my luggage, unfortunately I lost my case.

I may not travel much, but I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.

For Christmas, I bought my wife a world map and gave her a dart. I told her to throw it and wherever it lands, we will go on vacation this summer.  Looks like we are spending two weeks behind the refrigerator.

Looks like I will have to cancel my vacation, I developed a rash and my dermatologist told me to apply the medication locally.

I once took a trip to a ski resort.  It started off well, but things went downhill really fast.

I heard that photons do not take suitcases on vacation because they travel light.

What did the llama say before his vacation?  Alpaca bag.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

 “Babies don’t need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I’ll go over to them and say, ‘What are you doing here, you’ve never worked a day in your life!’” ~Stephen Wright

Friday Funny May 6, 2022 Mothers’ Day

Happy Friday!  Don’t forget that this Sunday is Mother’s Day.

Enjoy!

Would you call a mom who can’t draw – Tracy?

Is it true that the baby strawberry cried because his mom was in a jam?

Are computers so smart because they listen to their motherboards?

Did you hear about the pirate who could not call his mother because she left the phone off the hook?

What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!

It seems like everybody wants to save the earth but nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

Good moms let their kids lick the blades on the hand mixer. Great moms turn the mixer off first.

Is it true that Mom’s favorite kind of candy for Mother’s Day is Her-she’s Kisses?

I bought my Mom a mug which says, “Happy Mother’s day from the World’s Worst Son”.
I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?” ~-Milton Berle