Monthly Archives: March 2021

Friday Funny March 26, 2021 Spring Jokes

Happy Friday! Congratulations – you have survived winter. Now spring is here and the hope of the world springing back to live.

Enjoy spring and some spring jokes!

Is it true that after the most common feeling among trees in the spring is re-leaf?

It is that time of year when my winter fat turns int o spring rolls.

I heard that you can tell the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls by their seasoning.

I saw a commercial that the furniture store was celebrating the end of winter with a spring sale; however, mattresses are still full price.

I have a friend who is a writer, each spring he suffers from a bad case of allegories.

I dread spring cleaning this time of year, I wish I’d never bought that Slinky.

The other day I put my foot through a trampoline, I have been walking with a spring in my step ever since.

Did you hear about the flower that could not ride a bike because it had lost its petals?

The spring onions that sprang up in yard have started singing hip hop, those little rap scallions.

I was working through the kitchen last night and thought that I could hear the spring onions singing a BeeGees song, it turned out that it was just the chives talking.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

If people did not love one another, I really don’t see what use there would be in having any spring.~ Victor Hugo

Friday Funny March 19, 2021 March Madness

Happy Friday! This week, in honor of March Madness, we will tip off the weekend with some basketball jokes.

Enjoy!

This week I saw a woman in Walmart who had March Madness teeth, she was down to the final four!

Did the college basketball player sign up for a crafting class because he wanted to learn how to make baskets?

Is it true that basketball players eat donuts just so they can dunk them?

What is the difference between a star basketball player and time? Time passes.

Why did the college basketball coach only play 14 holes of golf with his team? Because they couldn’t make it to the Final Four.

If you invite flat-earther friend to play basketball will he show up with a frisbee?

Did you hear about the anti-vax basketball team that lost every game during the season?  Apparently, they never took any shots.

Was Cinderella such a bad basketball player because her coach was a pumpkin?

Did you hear about the basketball player who was having trouble with his bank account?  It seems all his checks were bouncing.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

I used to be addicted to March Madness, but I rebounded.

There are really only two plays:  Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.”  ~Abe Lemons

Friday Funny March 12, 2021 More Murphy’s Law Corollaries

Happy Friday!  The big event this weekend is Springing Forward.  I have always wondered why the time does not take effect until 2:00AM, it always wears me out to stay up that late to change my clocks!  This week, let’s consider some corollaries to Murphy’s Law.

Enjoy!

The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.

You can always find what you’re not looking for.

Of two possible events, only the undesired one will occur.

In front of every silver lining there is a cloud.

Any problem can be overcome given enough time and money; however, there is never enough time or money.

Brilliant ideas are seldom remembered while stupid statements are seldom forgotten.

Being dead right, does not make one less dead.

A bird in the hand is worth whatever someone will bid for it on eBay.

A committee has the capacity to make a decision that is worse than any of its members could make individually.

A penny saved is not worth as much as it used to be.

You can always find research will tend to support your theory.

You can always find what you’re not looking for.

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune times.

For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Every solution produces a new and opposite problem.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“In the end, everything will be okay. If it’s not okay, it’s not yet the end.” ~Fernando Sabino

http://WWW.QUOTEGARDEN.COM

Friday Funny March 5, 2021 Do You See What I Did Here?

Happy Friday! The days are getting a bit longer and a bit warmer, we can almost see the end of winter!  Seems like things that I go to look for have a habit of disappearing, so this week I picked out some disappearing jokes. Hope you see them before they are gone.

Enjoy!

Are bassists considered cowardly because they disappear at the first sign of treble?

Have you heard the one about the disappearing magician?  Apparently it was just a stage he was going through.

I saw a Mexican magician who said he was going to make himself disappear on the count of three.  He said, Uno.. Dos.. And then he vanished without a Tres.

Did the German Christmas cake disappear or was it stollen?

Do old magicians retire or do they simply disappear?

This morning my hands disappeared mysteriously.  I can’t really point my finger at what caused it.

I had a friend who landed a job at Finland’s national airline.  I have not heard from him for ages, it seems he just disappeared into Finnair.

One day I was out on a boat, some distance from the shore, when a massive hand suddenly rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared.  I thought, “Now that is the biggest wave I have ever seen.”

In the middle of the night, I had a vision of a fluffy, white lamb hovering at the foot of my bed, then it disappeared, as I lay frozen in fear. I think it might have been sheep paralysis.

Finally, a word of advice, never disappear, they are very sensitive fruits.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

http://WWW.QUOTEGARDEN.COM