Monthly Archives: January 2021

Friday Funny January 29, 2021 Dinosaur Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Congratulations – you have made it to the last Friday of January!  Your reward consists of some jokes that have been millions of years in the making.

Enjoy!

Would you call a dinosaur in high heels a Myfeetaresaurus?

Would you call a vision impaired dinosaur a Doyouthinkhsaurs?

Would you call a dinosaur who is a noisy sleeper a Brontosnorus?

Would you call a dinosaur car accident a tyrannosaurus wreck?

Would you call the former boyfriend/girlfriend of a dinosaur a Tyrannosaurus Ex?

Would you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words a Thesaurus?

Would you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions a Philosiraptor?

Would you call a dinosaur who never gives up a Try-try-try-ceratops?

Would you What is the head of an Italian dinosaur crime family a Ptera Don?

Would you call the scariest dinosaur a The Terrordactyl?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“You can only come to the morning through the shadows.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien

http://www.quotegarden.com

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Friday Funny January 22, 2021 Computer Jokes

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Happy Friday – already three weeks down in 2021!  Let’s kick off this Friday with a few computer related jokes chosen especially for you.

Enjoy!

Is it true that you should not use “beef stew” as a computer password because it is not stroganoff?

Was the computer tired when it got home from work because it had a hard drive?

If you crossed a computer programmer with an athlete would you get a disk-us thrower?

Is it true that a computer’s favorite music is Disk-O?

I read a news story about some computer hackers who escaped from the scene of their crime.  Apparently, they just ransomware.

Is it true that when computers want a snack, they prefer to eat chips?

If a doctor tells you that your eye injury was caused by staring at a computer screen for too long, you just might have a terminal disease.

Is it true that the computer crossed the road because it had been programmed by a chicken?

If you hold a hard drive to your ear can you hear the C:?

They say you are supposed to back up your files, but I still haven’t found reverse on my PC.

I had one more computer joke for you but it wasn’t funny. Not one bit.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashes… oh, wait a minute, he already does.” ~Author Unknown

http://www.quotegarden.com

Friday Funny January 15, 2021 Doctor Jokes

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Happy Friday!  The cold, gray days of winter had me feeling a little down, so I went to the Doctor………

Enjoy!

I told the Doctor that I was suffering from hallucinations, he told me that I was only imagining it.

I told the Doctor that I felt like I was a tennis racket, he told me that I was too highly strung.

I told the Doctor that I felt like I was a DVD, he told me that he thought he had seen me before.

I told the Doctor that my stomach was sore, he told me to stop my belly aching.

I told the Doctor that I felt like a piano, he told me to hang on while he made some notes.

I told the Doctor that I had swallowed a spoon, he told me to relax and try not to stir.

I told the Doctor that I swallowed a roll of film, he told me not to worry, that nothing would develop.

I told the Doctor that I felt like a set of curtains, he told me to pull myself together.

I told the Doctor that I had a ringing in my ears, he told me to answer it.

I told the Doctor that I felt like I was a professional wrestler, he told me to get a grip on myself.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” ~Erma Bombeck

http://WWW.QUOTEGARDEN.COM

Friday Funny January 8, 2021 A Not So Fond Farewell to 2020

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Happy Friday! I hope that 2021 is off to a nice start for you and here is hoping that it brings better things than 2020 did! Hopefully we will never experience another year like 2020 and it is not with much fondness that we bid it adieu.  As my of my favorite philosophers, the great Bugs Bunny once put it, “And don’t think it hasn’t been a little slice of heaven… ’cause it hasn’t.” So, let’s put 2020 in the rearview mirror on move on.

Enjoy!

2020   Turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.

2020  Turned the world upside down: Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors.

I heard a couple of grandmothers bragging about their precious little darlings. One proudly proclaimed, “My grandbabies are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”

Is the difference between COVID-19 and Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet that one is a coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis?

If you take your stimulus check and use it to buy baby chicks, could you say that got the money for nothing and the chicks for free?

With all this handwashing, I ran out of soap and body wash the other day and the only thing I could find was dish detergent – then it Dawned on me.

Is the difference between Humpty Dumpty and the year 2020 that one of them had a great fall?

I am not sure what animal the year 2020 was on the Chinese calendar but I’m pretty sure it has rabies.

In the future will we call those born in 2020 babydoomers?

When 2020 started Australia was on fire and over a billion animals were dead, little did we know that would be the feel good story of the year.

I’d tell you a coronavirus joke but you would have to wait a week to ten days to get it.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.” ~Author unknown

http://WWW.QUOTEGARDEN.COM