Monthly Archives: August 2022

Friday Funny August 12, 2022 If You Tell Corny Jokes, They Will Laugh (Maybe)

Happy Friday!  This evening, as I prepare this, the “Field of Dreams” Baseball Game is taking place in Iowa between the Reds and Cubs.  So, in honor of Field of Dreams, here are some of the corniest jokes I could find.

Enjoy!

Is it true that melons do not have weddings because they cantaloupe.

Did you hear about the sailor who could not learn the alphabet?  It seems he kept getting lost at C.

Is it true that grass is dangerous because it is full of blades?

Is it true that the best way to tell a dogwood tree is by its bark?

If two snails get into a fight, do they slug it out?

Is it true that the most condescending bear is the pan-duh?

Would you call a priest who becomes a lawyer a father-in-law?

Is it true that cows have hooves and not feet because they lactose?

Is it true that Waldo only wears striped shirts because he doesn’t want to be spotted?

Is it true that pancakes do well at baseball because they have a better batter?

I read that swords will never become obsolete because they are cutting edge technology.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. “ ~ Mark 4:28

Friday Funny August 5, 2022 Jokes You May or May Not Care For

Happy Friday! We all have those days that it is just a little harder to get motivated – these jokes are for days like that.

Enjoy!

I read a story the other day about an apathetic man who died.  Apparently, it was a shrug overdose.

I read another story this week about a new drug that makes its users apathetic, it’s called Crystal Meh.

And in a related story, I read where scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected, apparently no one seems to care.

What does an apathetic pastry Chef say? “I doughnut care.”

Would you call an apathetic Russian a So-be-it?

Would you call an apathetic cow, emoo-tionless?

Is the most apathetic island in the Pacific the I-don’t-care-Atoll?

Last year I joined the local apathetic club. No one cared enough to attend the meetings, though.

This year I set a goal to read the entire dictionary but for whatever reason I lost all interest and stopped somewhere around “apathy.”

Apparently my wife thinks that I am pretty apathetic; however I just realized that the “a” is silent.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society.” ~ Aristotle