Monthly Archives: August 2022

Friday Funny August 26, 2022 The Jokes Dreams Are Made Of

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Happy Friday!  Usually, I have little trouble getting to sleep, but last night was not a usual night and I tossed and turned into the wee hours of the night.  So, why not some sleep jokes for this Friday?

Enjoy!

I heard that mountains are always tired because they don’t Everest.

The other night I was having trouble getting to sleep.  I scooted over to the edge of the bed and shortly thereafter I dropped off.

The other night I was dreaming that I wrote ‘The Lord Of The Rings.’ Apparently, I was Tolkien in my sleep.

Last week I slept with my Smartphone under my head and downloaded a nap.

I have started taking a ruler with me to bed so I can see how long I sleep.

Lately I am not sure whether you I have insomnia or amnesia and I am losing sleep trying to remember which one it is.

Did you know that when a lawyer needs a bed, he goes to a mattress firm?

Would you call a a sleepy woodcutter, a slumberjack?

Is it true that dragons usually sleep during the day because they fight knights?

Is it true that candles cannot get any sleep because there’s no rest for the wick-ed?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Many things — such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly — are done worst when we try hardest to do them.” ~ C.S. Lewis

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Friday Funny August 19, 2022 Back to School Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Summer is coming to an end and school has started for many.  Let’s kick off a new school year with some corny school jokes!

Enjoy!

Is it true that the nose did not want to go to school because he was tired of getting picked on?

Is it true that the best way get straight A’s is by using a ruler?

I heard that calculators make great friends because you can always count on them?

Is it true that math books always look sad because they are full of problems?

Would you call a superhero in a computer class a screen saver?

I heard about an M&M that decided go to school because it really wanted to be a smartie.

Did you hear about the Lightening Bug who got bad grades at school because he was no very bright?

I read a story about a geography student who drown because all his grades below C-level.

Did you hear about the music teacher who was recruited to play baseball because he had a perfect pitch?

Is it true that surfers go to Boarding School?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.” ~ Brian Herbert

Friday Funny August 12, 2022 If You Tell Corny Jokes, They Will Laugh (Maybe)

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Happy Friday!  This evening, as I prepare this, the “Field of Dreams” Baseball Game is taking place in Iowa between the Reds and Cubs.  So, in honor of Field of Dreams, here are some of the corniest jokes I could find.

Enjoy!

Is it true that melons do not have weddings because they cantaloupe.

Did you hear about the sailor who could not learn the alphabet?  It seems he kept getting lost at C.

Is it true that grass is dangerous because it is full of blades?

Is it true that the best way to tell a dogwood tree is by its bark?

If two snails get into a fight, do they slug it out?

Is it true that the most condescending bear is the pan-duh?

Would you call a priest who becomes a lawyer a father-in-law?

Is it true that cows have hooves and not feet because they lactose?

Is it true that Waldo only wears striped shirts because he doesn’t want to be spotted?

Is it true that pancakes do well at baseball because they have a better batter?

I read that swords will never become obsolete because they are cutting edge technology.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. “ ~ Mark 4:28

Friday Funny August 5, 2022 Jokes You May or May Not Care For

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Happy Friday! We all have those days that it is just a little harder to get motivated – these jokes are for days like that.

Enjoy!

I read a story the other day about an apathetic man who died.  Apparently, it was a shrug overdose.

I read another story this week about a new drug that makes its users apathetic, it’s called Crystal Meh.

And in a related story, I read where scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected, apparently no one seems to care.

What does an apathetic pastry Chef say? “I doughnut care.”

Would you call an apathetic Russian a So-be-it?

Would you call an apathetic cow, e–moo-tionless?

Is the most apathetic island in the Pacific the I-don’t-care-Atoll?

Last year I joined the local apathetic club. No one cared enough to attend the meetings, though.

This year I set a goal to read the entire dictionary but for whatever reason I lost all interest and stopped somewhere around “apathy.”

Apparently my wife thinks that I am pretty apathetic; however I just realized that the “a” is silent.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society.” ~ Aristotle