Monthly Archives: April 2024

Friday Funny April 26, 2024 A Crop of Farm Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Spring is in the air and farmers are hard at work.  So, let’s kick off the weekend with some farming jokes.

Enjoy!

Why couldn’t the bankrupt cattle farmer complain?  Because he’s got no beef.

Is it true that farmers count their cattle with a cow-culator?

If you get promoted to senior director at Old MacDonald’s Farm does that make you the CIEIO?

I heard that the way to get a farm girl to like you is a tractor.

I read a story about someone who died making butter on his farm, it was a really unfortunate churn of events.

I heard that farmers tend to save their computer files as jpig’s.

I was thinking about starting a new business farming microscopic fish, it’s a small-scale operation.

Did you hear about the farmer who planted old cars in this field? I hear he had a bumper crop.

I heard that agriculture is a great college major, seems you can always find a job in your field.

I had to quit my job at the organic parsley farm.  They kept garnishing my wages.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” ~ Will Rogers

Friday Funny April 19, 2024 Spring Jokes

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Happy Friday!  It is past the mid-point of April, tax day is behind us and spring is in the air!

Enjoy!

Well, my winter fat is gone and now I have spring rolls.

I heard that on a sunny spring day that sheep like to have a baa-baa cue.

Did you hear about the flower that cold not ride its bike because it lost its petals?

Would you call a well-dressed king of the jungle a dandy lion?

It’s allergy season again? You’ve got to be pollen my leg.

I hear that the best time to wash your Slink is during spring cleaning.

I hear that there is an invasive species of earthworms that are rapidly spreading around the world.  It is a real case of Global Worming.

I hear that the plants that are best at math are the ones with square roots.

I have a good friend who is a writer, every spring she suffers with bad allegories.

Is the difference between a spring roll and a summer roll seasoning?

I hear that it is hardest to plant flowers when you haven’t botany.

There are 5 seasons: Winter, Summer, Autumn, Spring, and Tax Season.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“April hath put a spirit of youth in everything.” ~ William Shakespeare

Friday funny April 12, 2024 Rain, Rain Go Away!

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Happy Friday!  It was pretty neat in my little neck of the woods to see a total solar eclipse this week.  While the sky was pretty clear for the eclipse, it has pretty much been raining since then.  Instead of lamenting the rain, let’s kick off the weekend laughing about it.

Enjoy!

Would you call a cow riding a motorcycle in the rain – Cow-is-soggy?

I heard that cows lie down together in the rain to keep each udder dry.

I heard that ghosts do not like to walk outside when it rains because it dampens their spirits.

I heard that meteorologists get paid with rain checks.

Would you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain a driplodocus?

If it is raining outside does an artist draw the curtains closed?

Did you hear about the weatherman who was blushing because he saw climate change?

Did you know that if there is rain in the forecast that it is common for sailors to eat shellfish?  It’s the clam before the storm.

Since it started raining, all I can do is look sadly through the window.  I am hoping that soon my wife will let me in.

I once entered a weather pun competition. I beat the raining champion.

If you come in fourth at the National Weatherman Awards do you get a precipitation trophy?

If all this rain has you thinking of building an ark, I Noah guy.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops. Eventually.” ~ Eeyore

Check out my podcast at the link below!

Friday Funny April 5, 2024 Eclipse Jokes

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Happy Friday!  In my part of the world, we are anticipating a solar eclipse next week.  Where I work is close to the total eclipse area.  So, I thought I would share some eclipse related jokes this week.  Just do not stare at these jokes too long!

Enjoy!

How does an astronaut cut his hair?  Eclipse it!

What is the moon bringing to the beach on April 8, 2024? Sunblock!

What did the sun bring to the solar eclipse party? A light snack!

How do you organize a solar eclipse party?  You planet!

Son “Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?”  

Dad: “No sun.”

Prior to the eclipse I have been making some money selling fake eclipse glasses I’m not too worried though, I don’t think my buyers will ever see me again.

Great idea, I heard that there is an online resource for everyone who suffers retinal damage watching the solar eclipse. It really is a site for sore eyes.

Someone told me to view the eclipse with a colander.  I tried it and it just strained my eyes.

I heard that the reason that moon rocks taste better than an Earth rocks is because they are a little meteor.

I heard they opened a new restaurant on the moon.  They say the food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.

I have one more eclipse joke; however, it does not have a punch line, it just leaves you in the dark.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“It sounded as if the streets were running,
And then the streets stood still.
Eclipse was all we could see at the window,
And awe was all we could feel.” ~ Emily Dickinson

You can find my latest podcast at the link below.