Category Archives: Diets

Friday Funny March 9, 2018 A Recipe For Laughter

Happy Friday!  Recently I have been trying to pay more attention to what I eat.  The problem is that I like to eat just about everything!  But I am making some progress and it helps to laugh about it.  So, this week, I thought I would serve up a little food related humor.

Enjoy!

This week was my anniversary. I told my wife I was taking her to one of those restaurants where they prepare the food right in front of you. I don’t think she was that impressed with Subway…

I saw a movie about a hot dog. I heard it was an Oscar Wiener.

Food has been on my mind so much lately that I even wrote a song about tortillas – well, it is really more of a rap.

The other day I ate an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream. Then I had Breyer’s remorse.

I always make sure I have at least one bag of chips around, in queso emergency.

Would you call a man who can eat sugar with both hands ambidextrous?

Is the most popular donut in Jamaican Cinnamon?

Did the grapefruit stop rolling down the hill because it ran out of juice?

Do watermelons have fancy weddings because they cantaloupe?

Would you call a round, green vegetable that breaks out of prison an escapea?

Is it a bad sign when you enter what you ate into your fitness app and it sends an ambulance to your house?

Can I cook a Free-Range chicken on a stove I purchased?

When the weather warms up, I think I will start a herb garden, if I can find the thyme.

Thought for the Week

A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit. ~Author unknown

Advertisements

Friday Funny November 24, 2017 Less Filling Jomes

Happy Friday!  I hope you had a good Thanksgiving.  If you are like me you are still full from all of the goodies.  The holiday season is upon us and it hard to turn away from the great food that seems to show up everyday from now through the end of the year.  So, while this a bad time to go on a diet, at least it is time for me to THINK about going on a diet.

Enjoy!

My idea of a balanced diet is a Big Mac in each hand. 

I’ve been on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around I eat.

I’m thinking about trying the Dr. Doolittle Diet – talking to my food instead of eating it. 

I think it is time to try the cheese diet, I need to cheddar a few pounds. 

I tried the garlic diet, I did not lose much weight, but from a distance my friends thought I looked thinner. 

In my dieting effort, I went to the paint store, I heard you can get thinner there.

You think dieting is easy, let me tell you it is definitely not a piece of cake. 

Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it. 

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. 

What do you call a fascist vegan? Lactose intolerant. 

Thought for the Week

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

http://www.quotegarden.com