Happy Friday! Hoping this finds you and yours healthy and coping in these challenging days. Today was to be the start of the 2020 baseball season, but like so many things at the moment that is on hold. So, a few memorable baseball quotations will have to do for now.
Enjoy and Stay Healthy!
Nothing flatters me more than to have it assumed that I could write prose, unless it be to have it assumed that I once pitched a baseball with distinction. ~Robert Frost
No game in the world is as tidy and dramatically neat as baseball, with cause and effect, crime and punishment, motive and result, so cleanly defined. ~ Paul Gallico
I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it. ~ Rogers Hornsby
Yesterday’s home runs don’t win today’s games. ~ Babe Ruth
You can sum up the game of baseball in one word: ‘You never know.’ ~ Joaquin Andujar
The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen. ~ Bob Lemon
Baseball is a skilled game. It’s America’s game – it, and high taxes. ~ Will Rogers
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. ~ Abe Lemons
There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither of them work. ~Charley Lau
Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t hitting. ~ Yogi Berra
Now there’s three things you can do in a baseball game: You can win or you can lose or it can rain. ~ Casey Stengel
No matter how good you are, you’re going to lose one-third of your games. No matter how bad you are you’re going to win one-third of your games. It’s the other third that makes the difference. ~Tommy Lasorda
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror. ~ George Carlin
If you don’t succeed at first, try pitching. ~ Jack Harshman
He’s got power enough to hit home-runs in any park, including Yellowstone. ~ Sparky Anderson on Willie Stargell
Baseball is like driving, it’s the one who gets home safely that counts. ~ Tommy Lasorda
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. ~ A. Bartlett Giamatti
Happy Friday! Happy October! I recently celebrated a birthday which has reminded me that I am not as young as I used to be. How do I know? Well there are a lot signs to let one know.
You Know You’re Getting Old When…
Your joints provide more accurate forecasts than The Weather Channel which is the only station you watch these days.
You can pull a muscle while driving a car.
You have some clothes that you kept when they went out of style – they have come back into style and gone out again.
You have actually worn a leisure suit (thankfully, that one is never coming back in style.)
You know what a punch card is.
You can remember life without a cell phone.
You have developed an appreciation for mulch.
When talking to you doctors often throw in the phrase, “considering your age.”
You remember a time when the milkman, the bread man and the TV repairman came to your house.
You are in a conversation about a song and you say, “it had a good beat, you can dance to it, I’ll give it an 85.”
The hospital you were born at, the elementary school you attended and the high school you graduated from have all been torn down.
The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
It takes twice as long to look half as good.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your mind makes contracts your body can’t keep.
You look for your glasses for half-an-hour, then find they’ve been on your head all the time.
You begin every other sentence with, “Back in my day.. “ or “When I was your age…”
You sing along with the elevator music.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because either they cannot hear you or they cannot remember what you tell them.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
You frequently find yourself telling people about buying a candy bar or a pack of baseball cards for a nickel.
You know the answers, but nobody asks you the questions anymore.
You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
Your last car cost more than your first house.
If you still had your first car in mint condition, it would be worth more than your current house.
Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
You actually know what is in your 401K.
You own a metal detector.
You scout for a warmer place to spend the long, cold winters.
Youthful injuries return with a vengeance.
A ‘late night’ now ends at 10 pm.
“You are as young as you feel” sounds rather ominous.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. ~Leroy “Satchel” Paige http://WWW.QUOTEGARDEN.COM
Happy Friday and welcome to the 2019 baseball season! With the start of the season, it seemed like a great time to share some baseball quotes.
“I’m glad I don’t play anymore. I could never learn all of those handshakes.”-Phil Rizzuto
It ain’t nothin’ till I call it. — Bill Klem, Legendary Major League Baseball umpire
Beethoven can’t really be great because he never had his picture on a bubble gum card. — Lucy van Pelt (Peanuts)
“Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.” ~ Author Unknown
“A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.” ~ Earl Wilson
“Baseball is a skilled game. It’s America’s game – it, and high taxes.” ~ Will Rogers
“Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?” ~ Jim Bouton
“The thing I like about baseball is that it’s one-on-one. You stand up there alone, and if you make a mistake, it’s your mistake. If you hit a home run, it’s your home run.” — Hank Aaron
“The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and three-run homers.” – Earl Weaver
“There are three things you can do in a baseball game. You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.” – Casey Stengel
Thought for the Week
“The baseball mania has run its course. It has no future as a professional endeavor.” — Cincinnati Gazette editorial, 1879
Happy Friday! If you are a Cubs fan, it has been a great week for you as “the curse” has finally been put to rest. As the glory of the 2016 World Series fades, I wanted to leave you with some baseball thoughts to keep you warm through the coming cold winter months. Spring training is less than four months away!
You can describe baseball in one word: ‘Youneverknow.’- Joaquin Andujar
The baseball mania has run its course. It has no future as a professional endeavor. — Cincinnati Gazette editorial, 1879
The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.
– Casey Stengel
There comes a time in every man’s life and I’ve had many of them. – Casey Stengel
See that fella over there? He’s 20 years old. In 10 years, he’s got a chance to be a star. Now that fella over there, he’s 20 years old, too. In 10 years he’s got a chance to be 30.
– Casey Stengel
I remember one time going out to the mound to talk with Bob Gibson. He told me to get back behind the plate where I belonged, and that the only thing I knew about pitching was that I couldn’t hit it. – Tim McCarver
I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.
– Babe Ruth
I’ve had pretty good success with Stan by throwing him my best pitch and backing up third. – Carl Erskine, on how to pitch to Stan Musial:
I got my faults but living in the past is not one of them … there’s no future in it. – Sparky Anderson
Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off.
– Bill Veeck
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players on the field? – Jim Bouton
There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball … unfortunately, neither of them works. – Charlie Lau
The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait for it to stop rolling and then pick it up. – Bob Uecker
It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future. – Yogi Berra
Thought for the Week
I’ve seen the future, and it’s much like the present, only longer.
– Dan Quizzenberry
We are on the verge of history. Within the next few weeks, we will witness something that has not happened in over fifty years (the Cleveland Indians winning the World Series) or something that has not happened in over 100 years (the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series). Either way, it will be a memorable and historical World Series. Yet, baseball is not what it was one hundred years ago of what it was even fifty years ago. While Baseball has been called America’s pastime, it appears that baseball is past its prime. The juggernaut known as the NFL is the king of the ratings and the dollars these days. It has been said that Baseball is too slow, its games to long, there are too many games a week and too many weeks in a season. Football is in, have a party on Sunday and watch the game.
A number of years ago comedian George Carlin developed a routine that involved drawing comparisons between football and baseball. Among his observations was that baseball is played on a diamond while football was played on a gridiron, in a stadium. He noted that football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness while baseball has the sacrifice. He noted that the objectives were different in football the object is for the quarterback to march his troops into enemy territory, using an aerial assault and ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy’s defensive line while in baseball the object is to arrive safely at home. He also noted that baseball begins n the spring, the season of new life while football begins in the fall, when everything’s dying. Mr. Carlin made an impressive argument for the superiority of football to be THE game for America.
However, George Carlin is not the only one to write about baseball. The late Baseball Commission A. Bartlett Giamatti also noted that baseball begins in the spring – he wrote that baseball breaks your heart by design. “The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.”
Mr Giamatti also pondered the point at which a runner begins and ends his journey. He wondered why wasn’t it fourth base? Why was it home? And perhaps therein lies the real magic and meaning of the game called baseball. Mr. Giamatti who had served as a professor of English Renaissance literature and as the President of Yale University noted that “home is an English word virtually impossible to translate into other tongues. No translation catches the associations, the mixture of memory and longing, the sense of security and autonomy, the accessibility, the aroma of inclusiveness, the freedom from wariness, that cling to the word home, that are absent from ‘house’ or even ‘my house.’ Home is a concept, not a place, a state of mind where self-definition starts; it is origins. A mix of time and place and smell and weather wherein one first realizes that one is an original — perhaps like others, especially those one loves, but discreet, distinct, not to be copied. Home is where one first learned to be separate, and it remains in the mind as the place where reunion, if it were ever to occur, would happen.”
In football a team marches down the field, as a unit, in conquest. In baseball a batter starts a solitary journey at home and hopes that, with the aid of his teammates each facing his own obstacles alone, he will return home again and join his teammates. This is the American dream – not to make it all alone, but to survive in the face of individual trials and thrive with the aid of others.
Political commentator George Will is an avid baseball fan and has written a few books on baseball. He has noted that “baseball is what we were, football is what we have become.” This appears to be all too true. Mr. Will has also commented that “football combines the two worst aspects of American life: violence punctuated by committee meetings.”
One of my favorite baseball movies is “Field of Dreams.” When I think of the essence of baseball, I think about the scene towards the end of the movie when the character Terrence Mann convinces Ray that people will come. He says, “The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steam rollers. It’s been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again. Oh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.”
Perhaps all of us, as we get older, begin to long for yesterday when things were different and more familiar. Lately and particularly during this 2016 political campaign, I prefer to be reminded of what was once good and could be again, I prefer what we were to what we have become.
Happy Friday! Summer is over, school is back in session and professional football is back for another season. So, let’s kick off this Friday with some football jokes.
Two football fans were talking as they approached the stadium before the game…
First fan:”I wish I’d brought the piano to the stadium.”
Second fan: “That’s ridiculous, why would you bring a piano to the football game?”
First fan: “Well, that is where I left the tickets.”
Three Browns fans were talking about the sad state of their team.
The first fan lamented… “I blame the owner; if we could sign better players, we’d be a great team.”
The second fan lamented… “I blame the players; if they made more effort, I’m sure we would score more points.”
The third fan lamented… “I blame my parents; if I had been born someplace else, I’d be rooting for a decent team.”
The Eagles are having a meeting on the eve of a game with the Browns. The coach says, “Look guys, I know the Browns are terrible, but we have to play them or else we get in trouble with the NFL.”
The quarterback chimes in, “I’ve got an idea why don’t you guys all just sleep in, stay at the hotel and relax and let me play them on my own? They’re such a bad team it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Brilliant Idea!” the coach says. “Let’s do that!”
On the day of the game, the team relaxes by the pool, and the coach decides to check the score. He turns on the television and the announcer says: “It’s the Eagles 7 and the Browns 0 at the end of the 1st quarter.” The whole team cheers.
About 4:00 the coach decides to check the final score. The announcer comes on again. “I can’t believe this but the Browns scored on the final play of the fourth quarter and converted the two points to win 8 to 7!” “What in the world went wrong?!” screams the coach.
He quickly jumps into a cab to the stadium. He rushes in to find the QB sitting in the dressing room with his head in his hands. “Well, what happened?” asks the coach. The QB shakes his head. “I had it all under control,” he says. “Everything was going according to plan, but then I got hurt in the second quarter and had to come out of the game….”
Thought for the Week
Speed, strength, and the inability to register pain immediately. ~Reggie Williams, when asked his greatest strengths as a football player
If you arrive early to a baseball game, you will probably see a ceremonial first pitch. This is a longstanding ritual of baseball where a guest of honor throws a ball to mark the end of pregame festivities and the start of the game. The guest might be a local or national politician, a distinguished military veteran, a widely or not-so-wildly known celebrity, or someone representing the business that paid for that night’s promotional item.
The ceremonial first pitch is, I imagine, a big thrill for the person who get to throw it and gives those in attendance something to watch for a moment while waiting for the game to begin. I have no problem with the ceremonial first pitch, it is a nice tradition that belongs to baseball. However, many games I have gone to do not only have a ceremonial first pitch, they have multiple ceremonial first pitches.
By definition, how can there be more than one ceremonial first pitch? Wouldn’t that make it a ceremonial first pitch, a ceremonial second pitch, a ceremonial third pitch, etc? I imagine they do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings by having them throw out a ceremonial pitch that is not “first.”
Fortunately I have a solution. There is usually about thirty minutes or more between the time the visiting team finishes batting practice and the time the game begins. There are usually a number of fans that have nothing to do during this time, so why not entertain the fans with some sort of competition between those who will be throwing out ceremonial pitches to determine the order that the pitches are given. This would provide a degree of pride and meaning to the ceremonial first pitch. There are many possibilities: the prospective pitches could have a race around the bases to find out who is fastest. There could be a sunflower seed spitting contest judging distance and accuracy. Maybe a sliding contest with the fans judging style points. Perhaps contests of who could eat the most hot dog, who could throw a bag of peanuts, who could stuff the most snow cones in their shirt, just let one’s imagination run wild. It would fill in that time between batting practice and the start of the game and the person who threw out the first ceremonial pitch would be proud of his or her accomplishment.
Happy Friday! Hope you have a great weekend as we greet the unofficial start of summer. Take some time to pause and ponder the purpose and meaning of Memorial Day.
The baseball season is in full swing, but alas, it is not all joy in Mudville or Cincinnati. So my advice is to find some humor in it, there is a lot of season left.
One morning in elementary school, the students were going to a geography class. The teacher wanted to show the students where cities and states are.
The teacher asks the class, “Does anyone know where Los Angeles is?” Billy raises up his hand and says, “It is in California!”. The teacher replies, “Very good, Billy!, now can anyone tell me where Houston is?”
Suzy raises her hand and says, “That’s in Texas!” The teacher again says, “Very good.”
Trying to confuse the children, she now asks, “Where’s Cincinnati?” Tommy raises his hand and says, “Oh! Pick me!!!, I know?” The teacher says, “OK, Tommy where is Cincinnati?”
Tommy replies, “Last place.”
I heard that the US Post Office was going to issue stamps with pictures of Reds relief pitchers on them, but they decided not to sell them because people could not figure out which side to spit on.
What’s the difference between a Reds relief pitcher and a professional bowler? A professional bowler knows how to throw a strike.
What’s the difference between the Reds and dirt? Not much, they can both be easily swept.
The other day was take your daughter to work day. The Reds players had a great time and played a little scrimmage against their daughters, unfortunately they lost, 8-2.
What does Cincinnati Reds Manager Bryan Price have in common with Alex Trebek? Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy.
I was going to buy my grandson a Cincinnati Reds jersey, but then a noticed the tag that warned that it was a choking hazard.
Thinking about the Reds relief pitchers this year:
- I doubt they could save a Word file.
- Not sure they could hold a lead for a dog.
- I’ve seen more heat in an EZ-bake oven.
- I’ve seen better pitchers at a Tupperware party.
- I’ve seen better pitchers in Kool-Aid commercials.
- I’ve seen better arms on a box of baking soda.
- I’ve seen better arms on the Venus de Milo.
- They remind me of Pac-man…walka, walka, walka, walka.
- They could not pitch biscuits to a hungry dog.
Thought for the Week
“A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown
divided into nine innings.” ~ Robert Earl Wilson
In 1976, the movie, “The Bad News Bears” was released. It was the story about an aging, down-on-his-luck ex-minor league baseball player who coaches a team of misfits in an ultra-competitive California little league. About five years prior to that I was on a team that may not have been a bunch of misfits, and did not play ultra-competitive baseball, but I know we did not win many games. Perhaps someone saw us play and decided to make a movie about it?
I think that I along with Eric Bissonette, John Sharp, Tom Foster, Chris Abston, Jeff Anon, Rickey Dietz, John Genovesi, and the rest knew a little about how to play baseball and Mr. Sharp, our coach, definitely knew how to play baseball. However, as they say, our knowledge did not quite carry over into proper execution and the result was that we just did not win many games. If my memory is correct I think we won two games while losing fourteen that year.
Still, I had the opportunity to play baseball that year and the next (I think we doubled our wins the next year and won four while losing twelve). I learned a very valuable lesson those two years that I have used every year since then. I learned how to lose. Have you noticed that, in our society today, we do not talk much about losing? Everybody loves a winner, right? Yet, that is one of the beautiful things about baseball, everybody loses and even the best team can expect to lose one-quarter to one-third of its games. So, if you play baseball very long, you better learn how to lose. I had the opportunity to learn a LOT those two years.
Let me make this clear, I do not like to lose, never have and never will. But we are told from childhood that “you can’t win them all.” So, therefore one can expect to lose at least once in a while.
Mr. Sharp knew baseball and I do not think Mr. Sharp enjoyed losing, but it was evident that he enjoyed teaching us kids, not only about baseball but about life. I still hate to lose, but these days I don’t sulk off on a solitary walk home to blame my Mother for my losses. However as a view the world around me, it appears that learning how to lose is a lesson that many folks, young and old, would benefit from learning today.
Just a few weeks ago Mr. Sharp passed away. He touched many lives and left us all better for it. There may not be baseball in heaven, but if there is, I have a feeling Mr. Sharp has season tickets to watch the Angels play.