Happy Friday! I certainly hope this week finds you doing well. I must admit from time to time I notice how many years have passed by and that I ain’t as young as I used to be. Perhaps some days you feel that way too. Here are some signs that just might indicate you are not a kid anymore.
Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D.
You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
Your mind makes contracts your body can’t meet.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is “20 Years Ago Today.”
You get the newspaper.
You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
Your knees buckle, and your belt won’t.
Your back goes out more than you do.
The little old gray-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
You have a dream about prunes.
You take a metal detector to the beach.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You know what the word “equity” means.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You watch the Weather channel.
You know about slide rules (they have nothing to do with the playground).
You used computer punch cards.
Thought for the Week
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis