Happy Friday! To me spring begins on Opening Day – so Happy Spring! To kick off baseball season, let’s take a look at a few of my favorite baseball names.
Enjoy!
Coco Crisp – 2002-2016-the speedy outfielder stole 309 bases over his 15-year career; however, I am still waiting to see his face on a cereal box.
Catfish Hunter-1965-1979- A Ct Young winner and Hall of Fame pitcher, Oakland A’s colorful owner thought Jim needed a nickname and Catfish stuck.
Urban Shocker -1916-1928-he was a pitcher who won 187 games over 13 years and pitched for the Yankees in the 1926 World Series. He pitched his last game I the major leagues in 1928 and he died September 9 of that same year, that was a shock-er.
John Malarky-1894-1903- a pitcher who won 21 games over 6 years. There are a lot of tall stories about him, but don not believe any of it.
Boof Bosner-2006-2010- a pitcher who appeared in 111 games over 4 years, legally changed his name to “Boof”
Razor Shines 1983-1987-he only had 88 plate appearance over 4 years, I wonder if he was a sharp fielder? Did he hit slicing line drives?
Oil Can Boyd-1982-1981- this pitcher won 78 games and lost 77 over a 10-year career. He was a fairly dependable arm; he must have kept his shoulder well-oiled.
Orval Overall-1905-1913- he was a pitcher with the Reds and Cubs, his name sounds like he should have sold clothing to farmers or perhaps made an appearance in the movie “Airplane”.
Milton Bradley-2000-2011- a second-round pick by the Expos in 1996 who never quite realized his potential, but he knows how to play the best games.
Blue Moon Odom-1964-1976- over a career that spanned 13 years and 4 teams, he won 84 games and lost 85 as a pitcher. It appears that .500 pitchers actually do come along more often than a Blue Moon.
Moonlight Graham-1905- yes, he was a real baseball player whose career consisted of one at bat and then he went on to become a doctor as noted in the movie “Field of Dreams”
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“Enjoying success requires the ability to adapt. Only by being open to change will you have a true opportunity to get the most from your talent.” ~ Nolan Ryan
Happy Friday! Congratulations are in order – you have survived another winter!
March means spring and it also means March Madness. Perhaps you have completed a bracket for the tournament and perhaps, by the end of the weekend, your bracket will be in shambles. You will not be alone, so when someone asks you how your bracket is, just choose one of the responses below.
Enjoy!
My bracket hopes vanished faster than my New Year resolutions.
My bracket hopes vanished faster than a twinkie at a weight watchers meeting.
My bracket hopes vanished faster than a hot dog in the presence of Joey Chesnut.
My bracket hopes vanished faster than Milli Vanilli’s music career.
My bracket hopes vanished faster doughnuts in the break room.
My bracket hopes vanished faster than a toupee in a hurricane.
My bracket hopes vanished faster than a politician’s campaign promises.
My bracket hopes vanished faster than the flavor in a piece of bubblegum.
My bracket hopes vanished faster than a Britney Spears marriage.
My bracket hopes vanished faster than my tax refund.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,because your character is what you really are, while your reputationis merely what others think you are.” ~ John Wooden
Happy Friday! Happy March! We have survived February and spring is on the way. Baseball spring training is in full swing and it is time for March Madness. And speaking of March Madness, there is only one unbeaten team in Division I remaining, my alma mater, the Miami University RedHawks! So, let\s tip off the weekend with some basketball jokes,
Enjoy!
What do scrambled eggs and every college basketball team except the Miami RedHawks have in common? They have been beaten
Did you know that the reason so many basketball players fail their tests in school is because they have no desire to pass?
Did you hear about the anti-vax basketball team that lost every game because they never take any shots?
Did you hear about the basketball coach who recruited a pumpkin to play on the basketball team as a point gourd?
Did you hear about the ghost who fouled out for too many ghoul tending violations?
Did you know that basketball players cannot go on vacation because they are not allowed to travel?
Did you know that the most popular type of earrings for basketball players are hoops?
I know a baseball coach who loves dogs, he has 3 pointers.
I was read a story about a basketball team that sued a tennis team, it looks like they will have to go to court to settle.
I used to be addicted to basketball, but I’ve rebounded.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“The key is not the ‘will to win’ everybody has that. It is the will to prepare to win that is important” ~Bob Knight
Happy Friday! Time for some Dad jokes to kick off the weekend.
Enjoy!
Did you hear about the farmer that deiced to try a career in music after a disastrous harvest because he had a ton of sick beets?
I think of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
I recently stated at a hotel that charged me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
It is fairly easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today, it was clogged.
I tried to start up a dating service for chickens, but I was struggled to make hens meet.
I read about a ship that was carrying red paint and a ship that was carrying blue paint that collided in the middle of the ocean. Seems, both crews were marooned.
Would you call a wizard who was bad at football, Fumbledore?
I once built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked me if it was to scale. “No,” I said. “It’s to look at.”
Now, I understand why the Hulk doesn’t lose his pants when he transforms, all that radiation altered his jeans.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’” ~ Charles M. Schulz
Happy Friday! Happy February!! It seems like January lasted a lot longer than one month! After this last week, seemed like a good time to thaw out a “classic” Friday Funny. Stay warm and stay safe this weekend. It is cold, there is a lot of snow on the ground, but it is almost time for spring training and spring will eventually come, you have my word.
Enjoy!
An ODE TO OLD MAN WINTER
(with an apology to William Shakespeare)
This hath surely been a winter of discontent,
Old Man Winter hath chilled us ‘till we have turned blue,
He hath sleeted on us time and time again,
He hath made us sore from fortnight after fortnight of shoveling,
He hath iced our walks ‘till we have fallen down yonder slippery slope,
And he has wronged us time and time again!
What’s in a name? That which we call winter by any other name would feel just as cold.
To thaw or not to thaw: that is the question:
Whether ‘tis Nobler in the mind and body to suffer
The wind chills and snow storms of an outrageous winter,
Or to take up plow and salt against this season of troubles?
Frost-bitten Friends, Raw Romans, chilled countrymen, lend me your ear muffs;
I come to bury Old Man Winter, not to praise him.
The wrath of winter often lingers on;
The good is oft forgotten;
So let it be with Old Man Winter.
The Nobel Weatherman hath told you Old Man Winter was historic:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Old Man Winter answer’d it.
He was hardly my friend, not to me nor to any of you:
But yon Weatherman says he was historic;
And yon Weatherman is an honorable man.
Some winters are great, some winters achieve greatness, and some winters are just a royal pain.
One touch of Old Man Winter makes the whole world cold.
You all did welcome him once, but he wore out said welcome:
You all do know this mantle: I remember
The first time ever Old Man Winter put it on;
‘Twas on a late fall’s evening, in his tent,
That day he overcame the Winter Solstice:
Look, in this place ran El Nino’s dagger through:
See what a rent the envious Polar Vortex made:
Through this the much-anticipated Warm Front stabbed;
And as he plucked his cursed steel away,
Which all the while ran melting snow, great Old Man Winter fell.
O, what a fall was there, my countrymen!
Then I, and you, and all of us sunk down in the slush,
Here was a Winter! When comes such another?
Now let it work. Spring, thou art afoot,
Take thou what course thou wilt!
Thought for the Week
“If winter comes, can spring be far behind?” ~ Percy Bysshe Shelley
Happy Friday! You might get caught red-handed laughing at these jokes.
Enjoy!
I read a news story about a cybercriminal who got away. It said he ransomware.
I read a news story about a criminal who murders at railway stations. The police think they are on the right track.
I read a news story about a robber who stole a rare and valuable book about Stradivarius. Police are warning the public not to approach him, he has a history of violins.
I read a news story about a criminal who stole a valuable lamp, he got a very light sentence.
I read a news story about a man who has been breaking into farms and stealing cows. Apparently, he is a male with a large moo-stash.
Local police have recently acquired 1,000 bees. They might be used as part of a sting operation.
If you put an organized criminal in hot water, would you have mobster bisque?
A truck load of Brillo pads was stolen last night. Police are currently scouring the area.
Someone broke into my office and stole all the coffee cups. This afternoon I am going to the police station to look at some mugshots.
A am trying to decide of I would rather become a novelist or a career criminal, I guess I am weighing the prose and cons.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.” ~ Woody Allen
Leonard's Lines 