Monthly Archives: June 2020

Friday Funny June 12, 2020 Jokes At A Distance

Happy Friday!  Hoping this finds you well.  If you are getting a little tired of social distancing, I cannot change your circumstances but perhaps I can help you laugh at them for a moment.

Enjoy!

I’ve been practicing social distancing for so long that Sasquatch has a blurry picture of me hanging on his wall.

During this time of social distancing, I decided to become an entrepreneur in the coal industry.  Yep, I am mining my own business.

To fill the time while social distancing, I started a band called The Introverted Pessimists.  You’ve probably never heard of us, but that’s fine with me.

I heard schools are developing a new course on this whole distancing thing.  They will call it “anti-social studies.”

Is it true that pirates agree with each other over long distances by using their aye-phones?

Is it true that elephants communicate over long distances by elephone?

I heard that Flat Earthers are not very fond of all this social distancing.  They think it might push some over the edge.

Speaking of distancing, if Elon Musk’s space company establishes a Mars colony, and you had a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, would she be called your Space X?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Love is essential, gregariousness is optional.” ~ Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

Friday Funny June 5, 2020 A Few Staycation Tips

Happy Friday!  I hope this finds you well.  While the world begins to come out of self-isolation there continues to be a lot of questions about summer travel.  Perhaps yo have already decided to hunker down for your summer vacation.  Let me offer a few tips on how you can help that staycation have a real vacation feel.

Enjoy!

Live Out of Your Suitcase – have everyone pack a suitcase for the week of staycation.  Everyone much wear only what is in the suitcase.  This will help you remember that you ALWAYS forget at least one essential item.

Create Your Own Jetlag – while everyone is asleep set all the clocks up or back three hours depending on which coast is closer.  Live on the clock schedule until the last night and then change the clocks back.

Simulated Road Trip-load your luggage, snacks and kids in the car while it is in the garage.  Sit in the car and listen to the radio for 8 hours.  Only allow bathroom breaks in the same frequency that you would if you were driving somewhere.  Kids can play games, watch videos, snack and whine just like on real trip.

TSA Check & Flight Delays – if flying is your preference to driving, set up you own TSA check point in the house.  Pretend that the family is flying on a trip.  Give everyone tickets with a time printed on them, preferably an early morning time.  Make everyone show up at your TSA checkpoint two hours before the “ticket time.”  After making everyone empty their pockets and take off their belts and shoes, tell them that the flight has been delayed three hours.  For that added airport feel, put the TV on CNN and charge them $5 for a bagel.

WiFi Passwords – reset your WiFi Passwords nightly and make everyone ask you for the new one when they need to log in.

Sand – you cannot go to the beach without bringing back some sand.  So purchase a bag of sand and sprinkle it in the car, around the house.  For that authentic feel, at night after everyone is asleep, sprinkle a little sand over the clothes in everyone’s suitcase.   Everyone will feel like they have been to the beach all day long!

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. ~ George Carlin