Happy Friday and Happy May! The days are longer and warmer weather is on the way! The baseball season is in full swing, so let me toss out a baseball joke for you.
Bob and Dave had been best friends for as long as either of them could remember plus they shared an avid interest in baseball. They were now in their 90’s and in a nursing home, but still close friends who continued to share a love of baseball. Many days they would spend sitting in their rocking chairs and talking about baseball. Occasionally they pondered if there would be baseball in heaven. One day, as they pondered this, they made a pact that someway, somehow which ever one of them who died first would find a way to come back and let the other one know if, indeed, there was baseball in heaven.
Well, the day came when Bob passed. After several weeks had passed Dave was feeling a bit lonely as his sat and rocked next to an empty chair. Suddenly, the empty chair began to rock slowly back and forth and the pale, ghostly image of Bob appeared.
Dave asked, “Well Bob, tell me, is there baseball in heaven?”
“Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” replied Bob. “The good news is that, yes indeed, there is baseball in heaven. There are games every day and the weather is always absolutely perfect”
Dave smiled and asked, “That is wonderful! What’s the bad news?”
Bob looked at his friend and replied, “The bad news is that tomorrow is our Opening Day and you’re playing second base and batting third.”
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday’s success or put its failures behind and start over again. That’s the way life is, with a new game every day, and that’s the way baseball is.” ~ Bob Feller
Happy Friday! One of the many cartoons I watched when I was a child was “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show” – every episode there would be a clip where Bullwinkle would say, “Hey Rocky watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.” Then something that was not a rabbit would usually appear of the hat. So, in honor of Bullwinkle, I have pulled a few jokes out of my hat this week.
I showed a mime a magic trick, it left him speechless.
A hear that good magician’s assistants are very hard to find, apparently they are highly sawed after.
I recently saw a magician who does magic with chocolate, it seems he had a lot of Twix up his sleeve.
I recently read about a new TV show about magical arts in the legal system, it is going to be called “Subpoena the Teenage Witch.”
Did you hear about the magician who made an entire art gallery disappear? Now museum, now you don’t
I have a friend who is very talented as both a Magician & a Chef. They say his food is TA! DA! for.
I read an article that stated that for a period of time, Harry Houdini used a trap door in every magic show he performed, apparently it was just a stage he was going through.
There was once a farmer who walked into a magical forest to cut down a tree. As he pulled back his axe to take a big swing, it cried out “Wait, I’m a talking tree!” The farmer just grinned and said “yes, and you will dialogue.”
Magician: “and now for my final trick! I will disappear!” Then he grabs a pear from under the table and says: “you’re the worst fruit ever!”
What are the two magic words you can say to get anything you want? – “I’m offended.”
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“The secret of showmanship consists not of what you really do, but what the mystery-loving public thinks you do.” ~ Harry Houdini
Happy Friday! Happy Hannukah! Merry Christmas! The forecast where I am has the weather turning quite frightful for the next day or so. But let me send warm wishes to you and yours this weekend!
“Remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.” ~ Dave Barry
“I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.” ~ Steven Wright
“Santa Claus has the right idea — visit people only once a year.”~ Victor Borge
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” ~ Shirley Temple
“It’s Christmas Eve! It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.” ~ Bill Murray – Scrooged
“People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks?” ~ Unknown
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even if you’re home.” ~ Carol Nelson
“I wish we could put some of our Christmas spirit in jars and open one up every month.” ~ Unknown
“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.” ~ Roy L. Smith
“A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.” ~John B. Priestly
“Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.” ~ Dave Berry
“As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.” ~ Donald E. Westlake
“Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.” ~Unknown
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. – Luke 2:10