Happy Friday! Happy Hannukah! Merry Christmas! The forecast where I am has the weather turning quite frightful for the next day or so. But let me send warm wishes to you and yours this weekend!
“Remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.” ~ Dave Barry
“I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.” ~ Steven Wright
“Santa Claus has the right idea — visit people only once a year.”~ Victor Borge
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” ~ Shirley Temple
“It’s Christmas Eve! It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.” ~ Bill Murray – Scrooged
“People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks?” ~ Unknown
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even if you’re home.” ~ Carol Nelson
“I wish we could put some of our Christmas spirit in jars and open one up every month.” ~ Unknown
“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.” ~ Roy L. Smith
“A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.” ~John B. Priestly
“Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.” ~ Dave Berry
“As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.” ~ Donald E. Westlake
“Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.” ~Unknown
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. – Luke 2:10
Happy Friday! This evening, as I prepare this, the “Field of Dreams” Baseball Game is taking place in Iowa between the Reds and Cubs. So, in honor of Field of Dreams, here are some of the corniest jokes I could find.
Is it true that melons do not have weddings because they cantaloupe.
Did you hear about the sailor who could not learn the alphabet? It seems he kept getting lost at C.
Is it true that grass is dangerous because it is full of blades?
Is it true that the best way to tell a dogwood tree is by its bark?
If two snails get into a fight, do they slug it out?
Is it true that the most condescending bear is the pan-duh?
Would you call a priest who becomes a lawyer a father-in-law?
Is it true that cows have hooves and not feet because they lactose?
Is it true that Waldo only wears striped shirts because he doesn’t want to be spotted?
Is it true that pancakes do well at baseball because they have a better batter?
I read that swords will never become obsolete because they are cutting edge technology.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. “ ~ Mark 4:28