Category Archives: Friday Funny

Friday Funny June 23, 2017 Ten Summer Travel Ideas for Kentucky

Happy Friday! Summer is officially here and for many that means travel and summer vacations.  If you are still searching for just the spot to spend your time this summer, here are a few spots in the Commonwealth of Kentucky that you might want to check out.

Enjoy!

Stegowagen-volkssaurus – W. Frank Steely Library at Northern Kentucky University, Highland Heights, KY.  In 1973 an art teacher at the University of Cincinnati and in 1973 recognized that the Volkswagen Beetle had the same humped shape as the body of the Stegosaurus. It then occurred to her that cars used fossil fuels (made from dinosaurs) and about how they might become extinct (like the dinosaurs). So, she took a year-long unpaid leave of absence from her job to create Stegowagenvolkssaurus, literally “shingle-covered-car-people’s-lizard.”

Vent Haven: Ventriloquist Museum – Ft. Mitchell, KY -While it might sound a bit creepy, Vent Haven (“vent” is lingo for “ventriloquist”) is housed in a private home and several small outbuildings on a pleasant, tree-shaded dead-end street in a sparkle-clean southern suburb of Cincinnati. Lisa Sweasy, the curator, is an energetic encyclopedia of ventriloquism facts and history, and she understands that one of her jobs is to be candid about dummy-phobia and to put visitors’ fears to rest.

Big Sandy Heritage Museum: Hatfield-McCoy – Pikeville, KY. The Big Sandy Heritage Museum serves two audiences: fans of the Hatfield-McCoy feud and fans of Pikeville and Pike County.  Hatfield-McCoy fans are the majority.  Just don’t get into a family feud on your visit.

The Harland Sanders Café – Corbin, KY – a historic restaurant located in  Corbin, Kentucky. Colonel Harland Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken, operated the restaurant from 1940-1956. Sanders also developed the famous KFC secret recipe at the café during the 1940s. It was added to the National Register of Historic Places on August 7, 1990.   

Duncan Hines Museum, Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY -Duncan Hines was, in fact, real and you can see his smiling wax dummy Duncan Hines in his kitchen. He was a native of Bowling Green. Before “Duncan Hines” became a brand of cake mixes, the man was a trusted author of restaurant and lodging recommendations. He was passionate about good food and hospitality. .

Bank Robbed by Jesse James – Russellville,KY. –  – on HWY 68 you will find the old Southern Deposit Bank Building which is now the Logan County Museum.  However, when it was a bank; it was robbed by Jesse James. Every October, during the Tobacco Festival Parade, a re-enactment of the robbery is staged on the street in front of the Museum

World’s Largest Baseball Bat – Louisville Slugger Museum World’s Largest Baseball Bat – Louisville, KY. -120 feet tall and 68,000 pounds of steel. In addition to the bat, you can also tour the factory and museum where they make baseball bats for major league players.

Florence Y’all Water Tower – Florence, KY — When the Florence Mall in Boone County was laid out in the 1960s, the first thing built was a huge water tower. Since this was visible from I-75, they decided to promote the mall by painting Florence Mall on the tower. However, someone decided that it was illegal to “advertise” the Mall on a public utility.  The cheapest and easiest solution was to change the “M” to “Y’” so “Mall” became “Y’all” a noted landmark to this day.

Monkey’s Eyebrow, KY – There are several Kentucky sites with odd names but you just can’t top Monkey’s Eyebrow, located in northern Ballard County, on Ky. Hwy. 473.

Wagersville, KY – On HWY 89 south of Irvine you can pass by (don’t blink) the remnants of Wagersville and yes, I am related to those Wagers.  After you see Wagersville you can take a hike up nearby Happy Top Mountain one of the highest points in Estill County.

Thought for the Week

Soon after, I returned home to my family, with a determination to bring them as soon as possible to live in Kentucky, which I esteemed a second paradise, at the risk of my life and fortune. ~ Daniel Boone

 

 

Friday Funny June 16, 2017 Things You Never Heard Your Father Say

Happy Friday!  This weekend we celebrate Father’s Day.  If you are fortunate to have you Dad around, be sure to let him know you appreciate him.  Growing up we heard Day say a lot of things, but here are a few words that most likely never came out of his mouth.

Enjoy!

Today’s music is so much better than when I was young.

Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on. 

I am pretty sure I am lost, let’s pull over and ask that nice lady over there for directions.

Why don’t you find out just how fast this car can go?

What do you mean you want to play football? Isn’t figure skating good enough for you, son?

I really can’t decide between oatmeal, sandalwood or barley grass for the color to paint this room.

You know I am sending you to college to have a good time, don’t let an education get in the way of that.

Leave the lights on, the electric company could use a little more of my money. 

A new comforter on this bed would make a big difference in this room.

This new pattern in the curtains is simply fabulous! Where did you get the fabric?

Midnight is a pretty early curfew.  I don’t want to see you come through that door before 2:00 AM.

I LOVE that tattoo!  It is really going to open up some great employment opportunities in the future.

You room is just too neat, you need to clutter it up a bit.

There is just way too much sports coverage on television, we need more cultural programming.

When I was growing up, we just had it way too easy!  

Thought for the Week

He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland

http://www.quotegarden.com

Friday Funny June 9, 2017 Television Catchphrases from the 70’s

Happy Friday!  For many school is out and summer is in full swing.  This year the end of the school year also brought back memories of my high school graduation forty years ago.  There is NO way to way to write that and not feel old!  So, I thought I would celebrate the end of this school year with a little final exam.  Can you identify the television show that goes with the catchphrase? (Answers are at the bottom)

Enjoy!

1970’s Television Catchphrases- Can you name the television show?

1.  Dy-No-Mite!

2. Whachu-talkin’-bout, Willis?

3.  Nanu, Nanu

4.  Sit on it!

5.   Up your nose with a rubber hose

6.  You big dummy

7. De plane! De plane!

8. Good night, John Boy

9. Who loves you, baby?

10. Lookin’ good!

11. Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry

12. Besbol been berry, berry good to me.

Thought for the Week

Your schooling may be over, but remember that your education still continues. ~Author Unknown

http://www.quotegarden.com

Answers

1.  Good Times

2. Diff’rent Strokes

3.  Mork & Mindy

4.  Happy Days

5.   Welcome Back, Kotter

6.  Sanford & Son

7. Fantasy Island

8. The Waltons

9. Kojak

10. Chico and the Man

11. The Incredible Hulk

12. Saturday Night Live

 

Friday Funny May 26, 2017 It Is the Law in San Francisco

Happy Friday and welcome to the unofficial start of summer!  This is also a weekend to take time to reflect on the meaning of Memorial Day and those who have sacrificed so that we can enjoy the freedom we have.  I recently had the opportunity to spend some time on the west coast.  California and San Francisco might seem like another country to a guy from the Midwest.  In fact they have some unique out there.  Fortunately, I think I was able to avoid breaking some of the more unusual ordinances while in the City by the Bay.

Enjoy!

Be careful when you visit San Francisco, because:

It is unlawful to play any game of ball on any public street or highway.

It is unlawful to walk more than eight dogs at one time.

It is unlawful to transport through the public streets in open baskets or exposed containers, or vehicles or otherwise, any bread, cakes, or pastry intended for human consumption.

It is unlawful to pile horse manure higher than six feet on any street corner or carry it through the streets.

It is unlawful to walk an elephant down Market Street unless it is on a leash.

It is unlawful to sell watercress that has been grown within 1,000 feet of any sewer outlet.

It is unlawful to clean your spittoon on the street.

It is unlawful to pile lumber to higher than 35 feet.

You may only display a dead body for profit if you have valid written authorization from the deceased person.

In 1867, San Francisco was the first city in the U.S. to implement an “ugly law,” which prohibited unsightly people from showing their faces in public.  

Thought for the Week

“The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” ~ Anonymous

Friday Funny May 19, 2017 Jokes To Add To Your Repertoire

Happy Friday!  Let’s kick off the weekend with a little mathematical humor.

Enjoy!

A farmer counted 185 cows in the field; however, when he rounded them up, he had 200.

Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing a river?  It was three feet deep on average.

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?  It seems he will stop at nothing to avoid them.

Is it true that the number 288 should never be mentioned because it is just two gross?

Would you call a number that just can’t keep still a roamin’ numeral?

Did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip to get to the same side?

Was the angle denied a loan at the bank because his parents wouldn’t Cosine?

Is the first derivative of a cow prime rib? 

I heard that parallel lines actually do meet, but they are very discreet.

I had a polynomial plant, I think it died because its roots were imaginary. 

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

I was going to end with a joke about a statistician, but you have probably heard it.

Thought for the Week

“If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.” ~ John von Neumann

Friday Funny May 12, 2017 You Know You Are a Mom When…..

Happy Friday!  This Sunday we celebrate Mothers.  Of course we know that this is something we should celebrate each and everyday for the many things that Mothers do for us.  This week I thought I would offer some tale tale signs that you are truly embracing the role of Motherhood,

Enjoy!

There is always a box of Popsicles in your freezer.

Most of your television watching involves cartoons.

You always stay up for the 11:00 news, but always fall asleep before the weather.

A day does not go by without either peanut butter and jelly or mac and cheese.

You have determined that almost anything can be cleaned with spit and Kleenex.

You only buy cereal with marshmallows in it.

The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making Rice Krispies Treats or, if you feeling extra fancy, Scotcheroos.

You finish eating your child’s half-eaten food without giving it a second thought.

You automatically double-knot everything you tie.

You remember the places you have gone by the stains on your clothes.

You have determined that there are actually 101 different crafts you can do with Popsicle sticks and chenille stems.

You save empty paper towel and toilet paper rolls for all the great crafts you can make with them.

You know you have a million things that need to be done but you put them all aside to sit in the freezing cold to watch your child’s game and know you took care of the most important task.

You have that rare opportunity to have an adult dinner with you husband and find yourself cutting his steak into small bite-size pieces.

Thought for the Week

“Someday, when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I’ll tell them: I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom and what time you would get home. … I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover your friend was a creep. I loved you enough to make you return a Milky Way with a bite out of it to a drugstore and confess, ‘I stole this.’ … But most of all I loved you enough to say no when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.” ~ Erma Bombeck

Friday Funny May 5, 2017 More Ponderings

Happy Friday!  It is hard to believe that it is already May.  That got me to thinking….and that often ends in a strange place.

Enjoy!

Laughing stock – would that be cattle with a sense of humor?

If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide & seek, is he able to find himself?

Just “before” someone gets nervous, do they have cocoons in their stomach? 

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound?

If a man falls in the forest and a woman is not around, is he still wrong?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it? 

If a mime falls in the forest and no one is around, does he make a noise?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Last night I played a blank tape at full volume. It drove the mime  who lives next door crazy.

I am at that age where I still have something on the ball, but I am just too tired to bounce it.

On those days when I am not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. 

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? 

What was the greatest thing BEFORE sliced bread?

I have been adjusting the setting on my laser printer, I think  I have it on stun now. 

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile and then walk into a pole.” ~ Unknown