Tag Archives: Pirates

Friday Funny April 27, 2018 Pirate Jokes

Happy Friday!  This evening I say a very nice production of Treasure Island, so of course I have to offer up a few pirate jokes this week,


Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?   A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?  A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?  A: He bought it on sail.

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A: A nervous wreck.

Q: How do pirates communicate with each other?  A: With Aye-Phones of course.

Q: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?  A: Aye Matey. 

Q: How do you save a drowning pirate?  A: With C P ARRRRRRRRR. 

Q: Why didn’t the 13-year-old go to the pirate movie?  A: Because it was rated arrrrr .

Q: What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?  A: Shiver me timbers!


A pirate walks into a restaurant wearing a paper towel on his head.

The hostess greets him and asks, “Excuse me, but why are you wearing a paper towel?”
“Arrr…” says the pirate. “I’ve got a bounty on me head!”


One Pirate turns to another and says “arrr!”
The other says “You know, I was just thinkin’ the same thing matey”

Thought for the Week

“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island.” ~ Walt Disney



Friday Funny July 7, 2017 Pirate Jokes

Happy Friday!  I hope you had a great 4th of July.  This week it just seemed like a good time for some pirate jokes.


Why did the pirate become such a good boxer?
He had a great right hook.

What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands and two legs?
A beginner.

How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think so, therefore they arrr.

Why do pirates carry a bar of soap at all times?
In case of shipwreck it will wash him ashore.

How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
He bought it on sail.

How much do pirates pay for piercings?
A buck-an-ear.

Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?                                                                                                  Because he was sitting on the deck.

What is a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie?
Ships Ahoy!

Where did the  one-legged pirate go for breakfast?

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

To err is human.   To arr is definitely pirate.

Thought for the Week

One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, “Is it half full or half empty?” So I drank the water. No more problem. ~Alexander Jodorowsky