Monthly Archives: April 2022

Friday Funny April 29, 2022 Name Dropping

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Happy Friday!  Let’s kick off this weekend with a little name dropping.

Enjoy!

Would you call a man who likes to work out Jim?

Would you call a girl with a tennis racket on her head Annette?

Would you call a woman with a cat on her head Kitty?

Would you call a boy hanging on the wall Art?

Would you call a girl with a frog on her head Lily?

Would you call a man with a shovel Doug?

Would you call a man without a shovel Douglas?

Would you call a woman with a Christmas tree on her dead Carol?

Would you call a man with a Christmas tree on is head Noel?

Would you call a man with a map on his head Miles?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Tigers die and leave their skins; people die and leave their names.” ~Japanese proverb

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Friday Funny April 22, 2022 Medical Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Let’s kickoff the weekend with some medical jokes.

Enjoy!

I heard that the worst place to hide in a hospital is the ICU.

Have you heard about the new Canadian strain of Covid? People are showing up at the hospital eh-symptomatic.

I stopped by a local hospital today only to find that it had been converted into a library, I had to suffer in silence.

I heard about a man who was admitted to hospital after swallowing 6 plastic horses. His condition has been described as stable.

I heard that the nicest guy in the hospital is the ultra-sound guy.

I heard that the coolest guy in the hospital is the hip replacement guy.

I heard about a dermatologist who was fired at the hospital for making too many rash decisions.

When I was young, I once dated an X-ray tech I met during a short hospital stay, I always wondered what she saw in me.

If you donate a kidney to a hospital everyone thinks you are a hero but if you
donate 10 kidneys everyone thinks you are a monster.

I woke this morning with an awful cough, I think it might be pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but it’s hard to say.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK


“Everything is so expensive. What hospitals really need is cheaper equipment — like an X-ray machine that takes four poses for a quarter.” ~Robert Orben, 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches, 1984

Friday Funny April 15, 2022 Tax Day Jokes

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Happy Easter! Happy Passover and Happy Tax Day – well maybe not so happy about Tax Day. Maybe laughing about will make you feel a little better.

Enjoy!

I heard that accountants are able to remain cool, calm and collected because they have strong internal controls.

I heard that accountants like the weekends because they get to wear casual clothes to work.

I heard about a cannibal CPA, he charges an arm and a leg.

I heard about an accountant and banker who got broke off their relationship, seems they couldn’t reconcile their differences.

Did you hear about the auditor who proposed to his girlfriend with an engagement letter?

Did you hear about the CPA who was having a mid-life crisis? He bought a faster calculator.

Did you hear about the church that was getting indicted by the IRS for displaying false prophets?

Did you hear about the chiropractor who was audited by IRS? She owed back taxes.

I heard about a new dating app for CPAs. it’s called “Let’s Get Fiscal.”

If you crossed a tax accountant with a jet airplane would you get a Boring 747?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.” ~ Dave Barry.

Friday Funny April 8, 2022 Baseball Jokes for Opening Weekend

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Happy Friday! Flowers are started to bloom, trees are started to leaf out and baseball is back. So let’s lead off the weekend with some baseball jokes.

Enjoy!

If the Kool-aid Man was on your baseball team would he be a Relief Pitcher?

I heard about an opera singer who made it to the big leagues – seems he had perfect pitch.

I wanted to wear Adidas to play baseball, but they would not let me bat – apparently it is three stripes and you’re out.

Things have gotten ridiculous, my son’s youth baseball game was rained out and they gave him a precipitation trophy.

The other day I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat – now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyworld.

I heard about a baseball player who went to the local library.  He was only there five minutes; it was a short stop.

If you crossed a tree with a baseball player, would you get Babe Root?

If a baseball player wanted to make a bake a cake would he use oven mitts, bundt pans and batter?

Did you hear about the baseball player who tried to wash his socks in the bleachers?

I heard that Mario Mendoza shut down his website because he was not getting enough hits.

If you crossed a baseball pitcher with a carpet would you get throw rug?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” ~ Babe Ruth