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Friday Funny October 29, 2021 Halloween Jokes

Happy

Happy Friday! Happy Halloween! Here is wishing you your chare of candy without any cavities!

Enjoy!

I am thinking about entering a Halloween costume contest with Arnold Schwarzenegger this year. I am going as Beethoven.  Arnold will be Bach.

Last year a neighborhood girl came “trick or treating” dressed as Gloria Gaynor.  At first I was afraid.

Is it true that skeletons do not go trick or treating because they don’t have any body to with?

This year I am putting extra starch in my ghost costume, I am hoping t0 scare everyone  stiff.

I know a poltergeist who refuses to return my texts.  I think he might be ghosting me.

I saw a skeleton the other day who had a custodial job.  I think he was the Grim Sweeper.

I heard about a pumpkin who wanted to be a writer.  She thought she would try her hand at Pulp fiction.

Would you call a funny movie about two zombies finding true love, a zom-com?

This year I want to be something really scary for Halloween so I’m dressing up as a phone with the battery down to 3%.

The scariest costume I saw last year was the girl who came carrying a school fundraising packet.

Would a ghost attending a formal party wear a boo-tie?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“There are three things I’ve learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.” – Linus

Friday Funny October 22, 2021 More Random Thoughts

Happy Friday! Let me wish you a wonderful weekend and leave you with a few items to ponder.

Enjoy!

The other day, I was a witness to a ship wreck, all I could do was watch and let it sink in.

I gave my hermit crab a cell phone, now all he does is take shellfies.

I have a friend who is a claustrophobic astronaut, poor guy really needs some space.

Last week I witnessed an attempted murder, fortunately only one crow showed up.

It used to be that cosmetic surgery was a taboo subject, but now when you talk about Botox no one even raises an eyebrow.

Would hillbillies drink from hiccups?

When two snails fight do they slug it out?

If you have a can opener that doesn’t work any longer would that make it a can’t opener?

If you tell a “dad joke” but you are not a dad would that make you a faux pa?

I have a friend who like to photograph salmon in different clothing. Seems he likes shooting fish in apparel.

I watched hockey before it was cool, it was a lot like water polo.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson

Friday Funny October 15,2021 Dog Jokes

Happy Friday! I hope you have had a good week. Let’s kick off the weekend with some jokes about man’s best friend.

Enjoy!

Would you call a dog that has been left outside in the cold a chili-dog?

Would you call a dog that likes taking a bath every day a shampoo-dle?

Would you call a dog that meditates an aware wolf?

Is it true that dogs run in circles because it is easier than running in squares?

If you crossed a sheepdog with a rose would you get a collie-flower?

Is it true that dogs like smartphones because they have collar IDs?

Are dogs’ barks loud because they have built-in sub-woofers?

If you crossed a frog with a dog would you get a croaker spaniel?

If you connect a Corgi to a battery would you get a short circuit?

If you cross a dog and a calculator would you get a friend you could count on?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

I love a dog, he does nothing for political reasons.” ~Will Rogers