Monthly Archives: February 2023

Friday Funny February 24, 2023 Ten Unique Places To Visit This Year

Happy Friday! It might still be February, but this week I have ben thinking about warmer days and vacation. Gas prices are rising again and the price of everything seems to keep going up. You might have started to winder if you will be able to travel anywhere this year. Well I have good news for you! Here are ten unique places that just might convince you to fill up the gas tank and hit the road. Enjoy!

Museum of Bad Art – “Too bad to be ignored” This is the world’s only museum dedicated to the collection, preservation, exhibition and celebration of bad art in all its forms. Is bad culture better than no culture?  Dedham, Massachusetts – http://www.museumofbadart.org

Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast -“Lizzie Borden grabbed an axe, and gave her father 40 whacks.” Beautifully restored Greek-revival home is now a first-class bed & breakfast. You are invited to choose one of 6 beautifully appointed bedrooms and roam the house to learn the true facts about Lizzie Borden and the murders of 1892. Don’t like Lizzie Borden? Just bury the hatchet and go anyway.  Fall River, Massachusetts –http://www.lizzie-borden.com

Glore Psychiatric Museum – brings to life the glorious history of psychiatric treatment through dioramas, models, and reproductions. Some of the more interesting objects on display include the tranquilizer chair, a ‘things-swallowed-by-patients’ exhibit, and a giant hamster wheel for especially energetic patients. The voices in your head are telling you to go. – St. Joseph, Missouri https://gloremuseum.org/

The Museum of Questionable Medical Devices -Devious Displays of Quackery, Fraud, Deceit and Deception — the largest collection of medical chicanery and mayhem ever assembled under one roof. When finished take two aspirin and call me in the morning. Minneapolis, Minnesota –http://www.museumofquackery.com

Vent Haven: Ventriloquist Museum – the world’s only museum of ventriloquial figures and memorabilia. This one has been closed for a bit but is getting ready to reopen May 9.  All those dummies have just been sitting there waiting for you to come – just don’t let them put words in your mouth.  Ft. Mitchell, Kentucky  – https://www.venthaven.org/

The National Museum of Funeral History –  Here you will discover America’s largest collection of authentic historical funeral service items.  You can also learn about hearses through history, caskets and coffins, and the history of embalming and cremation.  Don’t stay too long or you might end up as part of an exhibit. Houston, Texas – https://www.nmfh.org

The National Mustard Museum – home to the world’s largest collection of mustards and mustard memorabilia.   You can find mustard pots, antique tins and jars as well as vintage advertisements and it is free!  As museums go, this one really makes the cut.  Middleton, Wisconsin –https://mustardmuseum.com/

Spam Museum – It is all about the sizzle, a trip for the history books and the cook books.  Find out all you ever wanted to know about Spam but were afraid to ask.  It is free, so don’t knock it until you’ve fried it.  Austin, Minnesota – https://www.spam.com/museum

International Cryptozoology Museum  – Did you know that Cryptozoology is the study of hidden or unknown animals?  Well, here you have the world’s only cryptozoology museum.  Maybe you can actually spot Big Foot on your visit.  Portland, Maine – https://cryptozoologymuseum.com/

National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum – who doesn’t like a bobblehead?  Here you will find the world’s largest collection of bobbleheads as well as dozens of exhibits related to the history of bobbleheads, the making of bobbleheads and much, much more. Doesn’t that sound fun? Just nod your head in agreement. – Milwaukee, Wisconsin  – https://www.bobbleheadhall.com/

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you’ve been taking.” ~Earl Wilson

http://www.quotegarden.com

Friday Funny February 17, 2023 More Thoughts on Getting Older

Happy Friday!  Another week has come and gone and has me feeling older than I did last week.

Enjoy!

I am getting so old that I have started lying about my children’s ages.

I am so old I can remember when emojis were called hieroglyphics.

I am so old that my back goes out more than I do.

I would like to say that I am ageing like fine wine but in my case, it’s more like a fine banana.

Is it a sign that I am getting old that I have started buying giant print alphabet soup?

I try not to let my age get me down, at my age it is too hard to get back up again.

At my age, looking in the mirror is like watching the news. I know there will be some new developments I would rather not see.

Call me vain, but I would rather pay full price than admit I am a senior citizen.

I was explaining to someone recently that “50 is the new 30″. But the policeman still gave me a speeding ticket.

I have discovered the secret to having a smoking hot body at my age.  It is called cremation.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”~ Satchel Paige

Friday Funny February 10, 2023 What Not to Get your Wife for Valentine’s Day.

Happy Friday!  In case you have not noticed, Valentine’s Day is Tuesday.  Before you head out to the store, I thought I would offer you a few useful tips on what NOT to get that special gal in your life.

Enjoy!

Leonard 

We have all heard, “It’s the thought that counts.” Yet, while that may be true, there certainly are limits on what will keep you in the good graces of your spouse around February 14.  Heed my word to the wise and be sure to cross the following off your shopping list this weekend before it is too late.

Jumper cables – while these can come in quite handy, they will not jump start a romantic evening.

A coffee mug – another gift that, while it may be useful, just might get you roasted.

Pencil sharpener – even if she needs and wants a pencil sharpener, this is not the day for it.  Hope you get my point.

A Roomba – give this for Valentine’s Day and she might set it to chase you around the house.

An oversized Teddy Bear – after the age of about six, a six-foot Teddy Bear is just kind of creepy.

A heart-shaped box of chocolates – the ultimate cliché gift.  Life may be like a box of chocolates, but avoid the cheap heart-shaped box from the corner drug store.

A bouquet of salami – while a bouquet of flowers might be about as cliché as a box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers is much better than a bouquet of salami, plus getting hit over the head with a bouquet of salmi hurts more than flowers.

Personalized socks with your picture on them-  do you really want to see your face on her feet?  Neither does she.

A hot sauce of the month subscription – it will only get you in hot water.

Novelty Toilet Paper – no, just no, nothing more needs to be said.

Thought for the Week

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.  ~Author Unknown

www.quotegarden.com

Friday Funny, February 3, 2023 Some Random Jokes

Happy Friday and Happy February!  2023 is already 8% over! I hope the year is off to a good start for you.  Let’s kick off the weekend with some random jokes chosen especially for you.

Enjoy!

I heard that when rainbows are bad they get sent to Prism, but it is a light sentence.

Here is an easy way to tell the gender of an ant. Put it in a glass of water. If it sinks it’s a girl ant. If it floats it’s buoyant.

I was reading a story about a claustrophobic astronaut, apparently he just needed some space.

I like jokes about stationery, but rulers are where I draw the line.

If 70% of the earth is water, and virtually none of it is carbonated, could we say that the earth is, in fact, flat?

This morning I saw a person dragging a clam on a leash behind him and it occurred to me that it  must be hard to walk with a pulled mussel. 

As part of my New Year’s routine, I have started doing crunches twice a day. Captain in the morning. Nestle in the afternoon. 

Did you know that you can hear the blood in your veins? You just have to listen varicosely. 

Did you hear the one about the donut that went to the Dentist? It needed a filling.

Would you call a dog that has been run over by a steamroller, Spot?

I have been a bookkeeper for 10 years.  The library is not very happy about it.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.” ~Francis Bacon (1561–1626)