Monthly Archives: April 2021

Friday Funny April 30, 2021 Email Humor

Leave a reply

Happy Friday! We are now one-third of the way through 2021! If you are like me, there are a lot of emails that appear on a daily basis in your inboxes. Some are informative, some are interesting, some are funny, some are annoying and many are superfluous. If you can’t beat ’em, laugh at ’em. So, let’s kick off with Friday with a few email jokes.

Enjoy!

My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files. Seems I am having trouble with emotional attachments.

I asked my Spanish colleague if he could include me on an email.  He replied, “CC.”

If you get an email with the heading “Find out what everyone was talking about in 2020” don’t open it – it’s a virus.

I received an email from Google Earth proudly stating that they can now read maps backwards.  I thought to myself, “Well, that’s just spam.”

If an attorney was offering advice via the internet would that be considered E-legal?

I heard that in Russia, you cannot sign onto Facebook using your email, instead you have to use your ussrname.

If you give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  If you teach a man to phish, he will start emailing people telling them he’s a Nigerian Prince.

I received an email the other day from a guy claiming to be an Egyptian Pharaoh, it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

I received an email the other day with the heading “$50 to see Justin Bieber Live!” and I wondered, “Why do I they think I would pay his ransom?”

Would the patron saint of emails be St Francis of a CC?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Science has not yet found a cure for the pun.” ~Robert Byrne, The 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, 1982

http://WWW.QUOTEGARDEN.COM

Advertisement

Friday Funny April 23, 2021 Money Funnies

Leave a reply

Happy Friday! With tax day behind us, it is time to laugh all the way to the Bank or at least laugh a little about money.

Enjoy!

Is it true that dinosaurs paid their bills with Tyrannosaurus checks?

Is it true that money is called dough because we all knead it?

Have you ever noticed that a study of economics usually reveals that the best time
to buy anything was last year?

Is a good definition of an economist – an expert who will know tomorrow why the things
he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today?

If you really did profit from your mistakes, how rich would you be by now?

They say that Money talks, it seems be really good at saying “good-bye”.

They say that Covid is the cause of a coin shortage, but I think what we are really running short of is common cents.

The newest iPhone has facial recognition. It looked at my face and told me that I could not afford it.

My wife went to a number of different stores to find the best prices for herbs.  It seems like it was thyme well spent.

The number of internet scams are growing every day, but for $29.95 I can show you how to avoid them.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The fellow who has no money is poor; the fellow who has nothing but money is poorer still.“

Friday Funny April 16, 2021 Tax Jokes

Leave a reply

Happy Friday! Congratulations if your 2020 Tax Returns have been filed and you can forget about them for awhile. If you filed an extension, then there are still “fun times” ahead for you this year. Either way, let’s have a little tax related humor this week.

Enjoy!

April 16, the day that Americans wake up in a daze from a case of intoxication.

Every year around April 15 many Americans have a rendezvous with debt.

Death and taxes may be inevitable, but death doesn’t repeat itself every April 15th.

You may not enjoy paying income taxes, but it could be worse.  What if you had to pay taxes based on that you think you are worth?

Doesn’t it seem like a misnomer that we call them “tax returns” when so little of it does.

It is said that a fool and his money are soon parted. For the rest of us it happens around April 15.

Have you ever noticed that a “slight tax increase” costs you about $500, while a “substantial tax cut” lowers your taxes by about $50.

I hear that the IRS is a great place to work. Everybody counts.

Is it true that Spiderman pays more income tax than all the other Superheros because he has more NET income?

Is it true that CPAs make better detectives than Sherlock Holmes because they make more deductions?

Did you hear about the CPA who decided to make a bold fashion statement and wore dark gray socks instead of light gray?

We just hired an ex-con, who was in prison for tax evasion, to do our landscaping.  Man, does he know how to cut corners!

I’d tell you some more tax jokes, but I doubt you would depreciate them.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” ~Albert Einstein

Friday Funny April 9, 2021 I Am So Old

1 Reply

Happy Friday! I gave into the nice weather this week and, ignoring my age, went to a softball practice. My mind thinks that I am still young while my body thinks my mind is crazy. So, I thought I would share how old I am feeling now.

Enjoy!

I am so old I remember when emojis were called “hieroglyphics.”

I am so old that I remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

I am so old that I have started lying about my children’s ages.

I’ve reached that age where looking in the mirror is like watching the news. I know there’ll be some new developments I won’t like.

I’m aging like a fine banana.

I am so old that my blood type has expired.

I am so old I rewind movies on Hulu before I log out.

I am so old that I remember when “Old Spice” was just “Spice.”

I am so old that I knew Burger King when he was just a prince.

I am so old that I knew Cap’n Crunch when he was still a private.

I am so old that I knew Mr. Clean when he still had hair.

I am so old that I when I was a kid we dipped our fries in Heinz #4.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.” ~ Will Rogers

Friday Funny April 2, 2021 Hare Raising Humor

Leave a reply

Happy Friday! Happy Easter! Happy Passover! Here is wishing you a wonderful weekend.

Enjoy!

Do you know what the Easter Bunny gets for making a basket?  He gets two points, just like everyone else.

If you crossed the Easter Bunny with a leaf blower would you get a hare dryer?

Would you call a group of rabbits hopping backward a receding hare line?

I have heard that the only truly rich bunny is the one who realizes he has enough carrots.

I have heard that the Easter Bunny stays healthy through a strict regimen of Eggs-ercise, specifically hare-obics.

Did you hear what happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.

Is it true that the favorite books for bunnies to read are the ones with hoppy endings?

Is it true the Easter Bunny does not use a comb, but instead he uses a hare brush?

Is it true after Easter the Easter Bunny will be working at IHOP?

Did you hear about the bunnies that went on strike in order to get a raise in celery?

Do you know how to catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it!

Do you know how to catch a tame bunny? The tame way!

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“For I remember it is Easter morn,
And life and love and peace are all new born.”
~Alice Freeman Palmer

WWW.QUOTEGARDEN.COM