Monthly Archives: September 2019

Friday Funny September 13, 2019 A Double Dose of Humor

Ha

Happy Friday the 13th!  Let’s kick the day off with a pair of jokes.

Enjoy!

I recently came across a rather interesting insight into the life and trials of Mahatma Ghandi.  As I am sue you are aware, Ghandi was widely recognized as a political and spiritual leader in India and around the world. 

Much of his travel was done very simply by walking barefoot.  All the walking resulted in very think and hard skin on the soles of his feet,  He also went on many hunger strikes during his life to protest the conditions of his people.  These repeated hunger strikes took a toll on his health to the point that he became quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his strict diet, he wound up with very bad breath.

So, all this leads us to conclude a little known fact that Ghandi became a super-calloused fragile mystic vexed by halitosis!, (Don’t you feel better for knowing that?)

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Our recent vacation included some air travel and we all know what an ordeal air travel can be.  While we were making our way through the TSA checkpoints at CVG we were behind an individual who turned out to be a public school teacher.  As his bag was being examined they noticed that included in his carry-on bag was a compass, a protractor, and a graphing calculator.  This caused a lot of concern for the TSA agents.  Several of them took him aside and began to question him.  It appears that they suspected that he might be a member of the notorious Al-Gebra group.  I heard they were planning on charging hi with trying to transport weapons of math instruction.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“If God had really intended men to fly, he’d make it easier to get to the airport.”  ~George Winters

http://WWW.QUOTEGARDEN.COM

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Friday Funny September 6, 2019 Mindset of the Class of 2023

Happy September!  Labor Day has come and gone.  The days are getting a little shorter, a little cooler and school is back in session.  Which means it is time once again to be reminded of old I am getting, It is time for the annual “Mindset List” that notes events that have shaped the incoming freshman class, the class of 2023.  The list has a new home this year with Marist College and the full list can be found at   https://www.marist.edu/mindset-list. Most of the incoming freshman this year were born in 2001 which right there makes me feel old, these kids were not even born in the same millennium that I was.  I took a tour through the list and here are my twenty favorite items.

Enjoy!

  • Like Pearl Harbor for their grandparents, and the Kennedy assassination for their parents, 9/11 is an historical event. 
  • Thumb, jump, and USB flash drives have always pushed floppy disks further into history.
  • The primary use of a phone has always been to take pictures.
  • The Tech Big Four–Apple, Facebook, Amazon and Google — are to them what the Big Three automakers were to their grandparents.
  • They have outlived iTunes.
  • The Mars Odyssey has always been checking out the water supply for their future visits to Mars.
  • Snapchat has become their social media app of choice, thus relieving them of the dilemma of whether or not to friend Mom.    
  • PayPal has always been an online option for purchasers.
  • Segways have always been trying to revolutionize the way people move. 
  • Apple iPods have always been nostalgic.
  • Quarterback Troy Aikman has always called the plays live from the press booth.
  • Except for when he celebrated Jeopardy’s 35th anniversary, Alex Trebek has never had a mustache.
  • They have grown up with Big Data and ubiquitous algorithms that know what they want before they do.
  • Most of them will rent, not buy, their textbooks. 
  • Their grandparents’ classic comics have evolved into graphic novels.
  • Pittsburgh’s Steelers and Pirates have never played at Three Rivers Stadium.
  • Blackboards have never been dumb.
  • Cal Ripken, Jr., has always been retired.
  • Teams have always been engaged in an Amazing Race around the world.  
  • Coke and Pepsi have always been competing in the sports hydration science marketplace.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.” ~ Margaret Mead