Monthly Archives: March 2023

Friday Funny March 15, 2023 Jokes To Help You Deal With The Madness

Happy Friday and Welcome to March Madness!  Here is hoping that our bracket does not get busted on the first night!

Enjoy!

Is it true that basketball players cannot go on vacations because they aren’t allowed to travel?

I used to be addicted to basketball, but I rebounded.

Is it true that a pirate’s favorite basketball move is a jump hook?

Is it true that basketball players love cookies because they can dunk them?

Did you hear about the basketball team of anti-vaxers?  Seems they los every game because they never took any shots.

I read there is going to be a new sci-fi basketball show., they are going to call it Hooper Natural.

Did you hear about the basketball coach who loves dogs?  He has three pointers.

Where do point guards take their dates after the game? To the Basket Ball.

Is it true that basketball players favorite kind of cheese is ls swish?

Did you hear about the pumpkin who played basketball? He was a point gourd.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” ~ John Wooden, UCLA Basketball Coach, 1948-1975

Advertisement

Friday Funny March 10, 2023 Jokes I Pulled Out Of My Hat

Happy Friday!  One of the many cartoons I watched when I was a child was “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show” – every episode there would be a clip where Bullwinkle would say, “Hey Rocky watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.”  Then something that was not a rabbit would usually appear of the hat.  So, in honor of Bullwinkle, I have pulled a few jokes out of my hat this week.

Enjoy!

I showed a mime a magic trick, it left him speechless.

A hear that good magician’s assistants are very hard to find, apparently they are highly sawed after.

I recently saw a magician who does magic with chocolate, it seems he had a lot of Twix up his sleeve.

I recently read about a new TV show about magical arts in the legal system, it is going to be called “Subpoena the Teenage Witch.”

Did you hear about the magician who made an entire art gallery disappear? Now museum, now you don’t

I have a friend who is very talented as both a Magician & a Chef.  They say his food is TA! DA! for.

I read an article that stated that for a period of time, Harry Houdini used a trap door in every magic show he performed, apparently it was just a stage he was going through.

There was once a farmer who walked into a magical forest to cut down a tree.  As he pulled back his axe to take a big swing, it cried out “Wait, I’m a talking tree!” The farmer just grinned and said “yes, and you will dialogue.”

Magician: “and now for my final trick! I will disappear!” Then he grabs a pear from under the table and says: “you’re the worst fruit ever!”

What are the two magic words you can say to get anything you want? – “I’m offended.”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The secret of showmanship consists not of what you really do, but what the mystery-loving public thinks you do.” ~ Harry Houdini

Friday Funny March 3, 2023 Relationship Jokes

Happy Friday and welcome to March!  I have an anniversary coming up in a few days, so let’s kick his weekend off with some relationship jokes.

Enjoy!

For our anniversary, I gave my wife a small picture of me inside a pistachio. It’s just me in a nutshell.

I asked my wife if she’d like a new Diamond Ring to celebrate our anniversary. “Nothing would make me happier!” She replied.  So, I got her nothing.

Our anniversary is coming up, so my wife told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it.  I think she is going to love this pack of playing cards.

My wife asked me, “Do you want dinner?” I replied, “I don’t know. What are my choices?” Her response, “Yes or no.”

I asked my wife which she liked better, my face or my body? She said, “Your sense of humor.”

I think arguing with your spouse is like trying to read the “Terms of Use” on the internet. Eventually, you just give up and say, “I Agree.”

I thought I won the argument with my wife about how to arrange the furniture; however, when I got home, the tables had turned.

My wife said she wanted to be treated like a princess for our anniversary. So, I invited seven little people over so she could make us dinner – now she’s mad at me.

My wife keeps telling me that I’m the cheapest person she has ever met, but I’m not buying it.

My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.” ~ Henny Youngman