Tag Archives: vacation

Friday Funny May 10, 2019 Vacation Jokes

Happy Friday!  We all enjoy a few days off and I was off last week for vacation.  But now it is back to the grind and back to the Friday Funny!  So, here are a few vacation jokes.

Enjoy!

Two Ohioans go on a fishing trip for vacation. They rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, waders, rowboat, car, and even a cabin in the woods. The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything.  The second day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything.  The third day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything.  This goes on until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches one small fish. As they are driving home they are really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, “Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?” The other guy replies, “Gee, it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more!”
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As a cruise ship is passing a nearby island, one of the passengers sees a man standing by a large brush fire and waving at them.  The Captain just happened to be standing nearby.  The passenger asks the Captain, “Who is that guy?” “I don’t know,” says the captain, “but every time we pass by this way he gets excited.”

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Is it true that mummies do not take vacations because they are afraid they will relax and unwind?

Is it true that robots go on summer vacation because they need to recharge their batteries?

Did the librarian get kicked off the plane because it was overbooked?

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A man went on a long anticipated vacations to a tropical island.  He settles into his room  and begins to hear drums. He goes to the beach and still he hears the drums.  He goes to a restaurant for lunch and continues to hear drums!  That night he tries in vain to sleep because he continues to hear the drums!! Finally he storms over to the manager. “I’ve had it! Can’t you stop those drums?” he begs.

“No!” says the manager. “It’s very bad if the drums stop.”

“Why?”

“When the drums stop, the bass solo begins…

Thought for the Week

No vacation goes unpunished.  ~Karl Hakkarainen

www.quotegasrden.com

 

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Friday Funny May 25, 2018 Jokes for the Road

Happy Friday!  This weekend brings us to Memorial Day and the unofficial start of summer.  Summer, for many, means vacation.  So, I dug up some interesting thoughts about vacations for you this week.  And remember, with jokes about vacations, it is not about the punch line, it is about the journey!

Enjoy! And take some time to reflect this Memorial Day weekend,

Did you hear about the bees who took their vacation in Stingapore?

Did you hear about the cow that spent her vacation staying in a moo-tel?

Did you hear about the sheep that spent their vacation in the Baaaaaahaaaamas?

Did you hear about the shark that traveled to Finland for vacation?

Did you hear about the piano teacher who went to the Florida Keys for vacation?

Did you hear about the zombie who took his vacation on the Dead Sea?

Did you hear about the geometry teacher who spent his vacation in Cuba?

Did you hear about the math teacher who spent her vacation in Times Square?

Did you hear about the goldfish who spent its vacation taking a trip around the globe?

Did you hear about the television set that went to a remote island for vacation?

Did you hear about the cat that went on vacation to the Island of Meowi?

Did you hear about the comedian who spent his vacation in Knock-Knocksville, TN?

Did the Pirate go on vacation to get some AARRRRGGH and AARRRRGGH?

Thought for the Week

“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.” ~ John F. Kennedy