Every once in a while, I have a propensity to vent. I will preface my vent with the acknowledgment that things I have a tendency to vent about “don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world” as Rick Blaine might say. Yet, sometimes they can get really get my goat (if I had a goat). While golfers may dream of a hole on one, the only holes in one I came across are in my socks. There are some socks that I have that I would actually be excited to get a hole in one in (yes, I do need to get out more).
I would welcome a hole in one in those socks that I do not like and I have several pairs of socks that I do not like. Yet, somehow those pairs of socks know that I do not like them and out of sheer spite, they absolutely refuse to wear out. Out of spite, I make sure to wear these socks as often as possible to hasten their demise; but they steadfastly refuse to wear out. For a some pairs this is a decades-long struggle with the eventual victor yet to be determined.
On the other hand, or perhaps I should say on the other foot, are socks that I like. That pair of socks that just feels good from the moment you put them on until the moment that you take them off, that has a nice pattern, they match up with what you like to wear well – now those socks never seem to last very long. Last week I put on my most recent favorite pair of socks to wear for the day and all was going well until that evening when I stretched out on the love seat to rest for just a few minutes and then I noticed my big toe protruding from the end of one sock. I had been tricked again!
Why do socks that I like not last long? Is the quality? Do I wear them much more than I realize? I have developed a theory. I mentioned above that the socks I do not like last out of spite, perhaps they also know which socks I like so at night, while I am sleeping those indestructible socks are hard at work in a jealous rage trying to weaken the fibers in the socks I do like? Or maybe, just maybe the socks I do not like are like little vampire socks! They suck the life out of the socks I like thereby prolonging their own lives. Can you think of a more valid explanation for why some socks have such a short life while others seem to never wear out? I think I may be onto something, it is only a matter of time until there is a major motion picture about Count Sockula…..
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