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If you enjoy the Friday Funny, check out my podcast at the link above!

Happy Friday!  Congratulations for making it to the last Friday in January!  Have a great weekend and it is on to February!

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.

Did you hear about the guy who evaporated? I imagine he’ll be mist.

Did you hear about the tomb they discovered in Egypt that was filled with hazelnuts and chocolate? They believe it belonged to Pharaoh Rocher.

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for carrying a gun made out of Jello? They charged him with carrying a congealed weapon.

Did you hear about the insomniac agnostic dyslexic? He lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog.

Did you hear about the limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer? All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

Did you hear about the cyber-criminal who got away? Apparently, they ransomware.

Did you hear about that giant monster that only eats nuclear reactors?  He is on a plant based diet.

Did you hear the joke about the bank robber who fell into a combine harvester?  He’s out on bale.

Did you hear about the existential pirate? Me thinks, therefore me arrrr!

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet Act 4, Scene 5

Happy Friday!  I heard this week Elvis would have turned 89 if he were alive. So, let’s kick off the weekend with some Elvis jokes.  Thank you, thank you very much.

Enjoy!

I went to see an Elvis impersonator last night, but I got there too late., apparently, he had left the building.

I am thinking about opening a chain of Elvis-themed Chicken Strip restaurants.  I think I will call them “Love Me Tenders”.

I recently saw an Arab Elvis impersonator.  His name was Amal Shookup.

I used to have a pet mouse named Elvis.  He got caught in a trap.

I try to be like Elvis and wear Blue Suede Shoes most of the time, but if I cannot find them, I settle for my Jailhouse Crocs.

I read that when Elvis was in the army that his main job was to look for Suspicious Mines.

The other day, I saw a guy at Lowe’s who looked just like Elvis. He returned a sander.

How many Elvis impersonators does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One for the money, two for the show.

Did you hear about the bus full of Elvis enthusiasts that crashed on their way to an Elvis convention?  Witnesses report that no one was injured but they’re all shook up.

Q: What’s green and sings?  A: Elvis Parsely 

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

 “Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t going away.” ~ Elvis Presley