Monthly Archives: January 2025

Friday Funny January 31, 2025 Some Useless Information

Happy last Friday in January! Hope 2025 has gotten off to a great start for you.  This week, I am offering up some random, useless facts circulating on the Internet.  I won’t guarantee they are all true, but my guess is you will probably try to verify at least one of them.

Enjoy!

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour – could this be the next big diet craze?

Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie – so you might have to bang your head against the wall a few more times after getting the mail together.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “Its A Wonderful Life”.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds – I think I know some people who are part goldfish.

The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from and old English law which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill – you want to get a magnifying glass right now, don’t you?

Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 other million people in the world? – so much for “your special day.”

In Casablanca, Humphrey Bogart never said “Play It Again, Sam.”

Sherlock Holmes never said “Elementary, My Dear Watson.”

A Cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death – wonder what it does for those nine days?

A Boeing 747’S wingspan is longer than the Wright Brother’s first flight.

Charlie Chaplin once won third place in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.


“Hang On Sloopy” is the Official Rock Song of Ohio.

In 1977 there were 37 Elvis impersonators in the world. In 1993, there were 48,000. At this rate, it will not be long before one out of every three people will be an Elvis impersonator.

Thought for the Week

Good for the body is the work of the body, and good for the soul is the work of the soul, and good for either is the work of the other.  ~Henry David Thoreau

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Friday Funny January 24, 2025 Jokes That Work

Happy Friday!  Now that we are past the half-way point of January, we are back at work with our noses to the grindstones, so let’s kick off the weekend with some work-related humor.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the spreadsheet that went to therapy because it had cell issues?

Did you hear about the PowerPoint presentation that crossed the road to get to the other slide?

Is it true that accountants can stay calm because they know how to balance their worries?

I always keep a clock under my desk so I can work overtime.

I told my boss I saw a deer on the way to work. He said, “How do you know it was going to work?”

Where I work, we are so eco-friendly that even the food in the fridge is green and growing.

I asked if I could leave work early the other day, and the boss said, “yes, if I made up the time.” I said, “sure, it’s seventy-five past twenty-three.”

I had to phone the credit card company today; the answering recording stated all the client representatives were engaged. I thought that was nice, but it does not help me resolve my issue.

I think I got my job because of my motivational skills. People say they have to work twice as hard when I’m around.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, so she gave me a hug.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“You’ve got to think about the big things while you’re doing the small things so that all the small things go in the right direction.” ~  Alvin Toffler

Friday Funny January 17, 2025 A Ton of Elephant Jokes

Happy Friday!  Seems like as good a time as any for some elephant jokes.

Enjoy!

I heard that the best way to raise a baby elephant is with a forklift.

Would you an elephant that doesn’t matter –  irrelephant?

If you crossed an elephant with a fish, would you end up with swimming trunks?

Is it true that elephants are afraid to go to computer stores because they sell mice?

I heard that elephants make excellent employees because they can multi-tusk.

Some elephants started a band, but they only play “heavy” metal.

I heard that elephants need trunks because they don’t have handbags.

I heard that elephants cannot fly because their trunks will not fit under the seat.

Did you know that elephants keep cool in the summer with ear conditioning?

Did you know that Dumbo’s favorite font is Ella font?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.” ~ Will Rogers

Friday Funny January 10, 2025 No Jokes Like Snow Jokes

Happy Friday! 2025 is off to a cold and snowy start in many places.  So, let’s chill out with some winter jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you know that Frosty’s favorite aunt is Aunt Arctica?

Did you know that the preferred Mexican dish for a snowman is a burrr-ito?

Would you a snowman with a six-pack an abdominal snowman?

Did you know that sleds are always discouraged because they are continuously on a downward slide?

I heard that the snowman broke up with his girlfriend because she was just too flaky.

It has been so cold that Starbucks is serving coffee on a stick.

It has been so cold that we had to cut the piano up for fire wood but we only got two chords.

It has been so cold even property taxes are frozen.

It has been so cold that when I tried to take the garbage out, it didn’t want to go.

I tried using my loyalty credit card to scrape ice from my windshield but I only got 10% off.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” ~ Albert Camus

Friday Funny January 3, 2025 Short Jokes to Begin the Year

Happy Friday! Welcome to 2025, here is wishing you all the best for the new year.

Enjoy!

If you get advice from a cow, would you call that beef tips?

Would you call a musician with problems a trebled man?

What do you call an obese psychic a four-chin teller?

Is it true that pediatricians are grumpy because they have little patients?

I heard that barbers are never late for work because they know all the short cuts.

If a frog’s car breaks down does he get it toad away?

If someone who does not like carbs would that make them lack-toast intolerant?

If I wrote you an apology using in dots and dashes, would that be Re-Morse code?

The other day I found glasses on my cell-phone, it seems it had lost its contacts.

I like elephants. Everything else is irrelephant.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go, they merely determine where you start.” ~ Nido Qubein

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