Category Archives: Friday Funny

Friday Funny May 30, 2025 A Swarm of Bug Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Around my house, it is time for another brood of the seventeen-year cicadas to make their presence known.  I thought I would celebrate with some bug jokes.

Enjoy!

Would you call the place where bugs get off the train an infestation?

Would you call an indecisive bee a maybe?

Would you call a really old ant an ant-ique?

Is it true that butterflies sleep on cater-pillows?

Did you hear about the dung beetle who walked into a diner and asked, “Is this stool taken?”

Did you hear about the butterfly that they would not let into the dance because it was a moth ball?

Did you hear about the lightning bug that went to college because he was very bright?

Did you know that there are few bugs that live on military bases? It is because of the strict no-fly zones.

I watched a great movie about a giant bug, it was XL-ant.

People who cannot distinguish between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I cannot put into words.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.”~ John Lithgow

Friday Funny May 23, 2025 Rounding Up Some More Cowboy Jokes

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Happy Friday! This weekend kicks off the unofficial start of summer with Memorial Day.  Here is wishing you a pleasant weekend and reminding you to reflect on the meaning of the holiday.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the cowboy who died with his boots on because he did not want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket?

Did you hear about the cowboy who cooked his beans on the range?

Did you hear about the cowboy who purchased a dachshund because he wanted to git along little doggie?

Did you hear about the spontaneous cowboy who was always making spur-of-the-moment decision?

Did you know that cowboys’ relationships tend to be stable?

Would you call a low-calorie takeout meal for a cowboy a saddle light dish?

Would you call a cowboy’s outfit ranch dressing?

Would you call a cowboy who tells dad jokes a pun-slinger?

If a cowboy puts one foot across the Canadian border is he fully in Canada or just aboot?

I heard that cowboys keep their cattle quiet by using the moooote button.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“A nation that does not honor its heroes will not long endure.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Friday Funny May 16, 2025 Grammar Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Seems like as good a time as any for some grammar jokes – grammar not grandma.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the noun and the verb that went on a date?  They couldn’t agree on anything.

Did you hear about the noun that broke up with the apostrophe because he was too possessive?

Did you hear about the semicolon that broke grammar laws? It was given two consecutive sentences.

Did you hear about the student who got hit in the head with a grammar book? He’s still in a comma.

Did you know that you cannot run through a campsite? You can only ran since its past tents.

A question mark and an exclamation mark went to a movie.  Neither one liked it, it was a period piece.

What did the intransitive verb say when someone said it was pretty? Nothing – intransitive verbs can’t take complements.

When I was young, there were only 25 letters in the alphabet. Nobody knew Y.

When an English teacher is upset, should you comfort her by gently saying “there, they’re, their”?

How many grammar teachers does it take to change a lightbulb? Too.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“A preposition is a terrible thing to end a sentence with.” ~ Winston S. Churchill

Friday Funny May 9, 2025 Mother’s Day 2025

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Happy Friday and Happy Mother’s Day.

Enjoy!

Motherhood is like Cinderella in reverse. You begin in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after people.

Motherhood means that half the time you feel like you are running an asylum, and the other half you feel like you belong in one.

Are the best flowers to give on Mother’s Day mums?

Did you hear about the Mom accountant who thought the whole parenting thing was rather taxing?

Did you hear about the pirate who had found it difficult to call his Mom because she left the phone off the hook?

Did you hear about the Mom who always carried a pencil in case she had to draw the line somewhere?

Good Moms let you lick the beaters after making brownies, great Moms turn them off first.

Moms know that cleaning with children in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.

You know you’re a Mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.

I think Moms tell bad jokes because they want to help their kid become a  groan up.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“When children are little, they step on your toes.  When they get bigger, they step on your heart.” ~ My Mom

Friday Funny May 2, 2025 Geography Jokes Are Where Its At!

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Happy Friday and welcome to May! How about some geography jokes to kick off the month?

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the cartographer who got kicked out of map making club because he had a bad latitude?

Did you hear about the geographer who a job at a bakery because he wanted to study the earth’s crust?

I once was dumped by a girl who was a geography major. I guess she let me know where I stood with her.

Is it true that the highest form of flattery is a plateau?

Is it true that geographers do not like to go to parties because they always feel a little out of place?

Did you know that impatient people do not like learning about longitude and latitude? Seems they absolutely hate long lines.

I find mountains have a great sense of humor, they are simply hill-areas.

I guess I need to brush up on my geography.  I purchased a my new TV and the box was marked “Built In Antenna.” I am embarrassed to say that I have no idea where Antenna is.

I admit that I am not very good at geography.  However, I know the name of one city in France, which is Nice.

The other day I heard the best geography joke.  I was going to end with it but you had to be there.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Everything has to do with geography.” ~ Judy Martz

Friday Funny April 25, 2025 Check Out These Librarian Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Hope you have had a pleasant week. How about some librarian jokes to kick off the weekend?

Enjoy!

They took the clock off the wall at my local library, it seems it tocks too much.

I heard that a librarian’s favorite vegetable is quiet peas.

It was the librarian’s birthday; I wished her many happy returns.

Did you know that librarians like to sleep between the covers?

A book fell on the librarian’s head, she only had her shelf to blame.

I have a friend who retired after a successful tenure as a librarian.  It turns out she had quite a storied career.

I went to the library and checked out a book on Stockholm Syndrome. At first, I did not like it, but by the end I thought it was great.

What did the Librarian say to the Sir Mix-a-Lot? “I like big books and I cannot lie”.

Is it true that librarians organize their parties by the Dewey Decimal System?

I enjoy telling jokes to librarians, they always get the reference.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.” – P.J. O’Rourke

Friday Funny April 18, 2025 A Basket Full of Bunny Jokes

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Happy Friday! Happy Easter!  Happy Passover!  Wishing you all the best on this special weekend.

Enjoy!

I heard that when an Easter Chick bakes a cake, she does it from scratch.

I heard that the reason that rabbits do not live very long is because they are on burrowed time.

Would you call a line of rabbits walking backward a receding hare-line?

I heard about a bunny rabbit who changed jobs for better celery.

Is it true that the Easter Bunny’s favorite restaurant is IHOP?

Did you hear about the Easter Egg that hid because it was a little chicken?

Once you eat all your chocolate candy in you Easter Basket, be sure to give Peeps a chance.

How does an Easter chick dress for Sunday? Im-peck-ably.

Did you hear about the time the Easter Bunny acted up at school and got Egg-spelled?

Did you know that you need license to hunt Easter eggs?  That is correct, there is no poaching allowed.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Easter can be the highlight of the year. Better than Christmas. Bigger than a birthday. And about so much more than just chocolate.” ~ Ed Drew

Friday Funny April 11, 2025 A Bakers’ Dozen of Random Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Here is a serving of random jokes to kick off your Friday.

Enjoy!

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.  One asks the other, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

I made a playlist to take me when I go hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. It’s my trail mix.

I recently went to a concert to hear a band by the name of Duvet. They’re a cover band.

Is it true that Noah kept his bees in the Ark Hives?

Is it true that the leading cause of dry skin is towels?

I bought one of my sons an elephant for his room. He said, “Thank you.” I said, “Don’t mention it.”

The other day I was wondering why there so many different kinds of pasta. The I thought “If I just had a penne for every time I asked myself this question.”

Would you call a magician who lost their magic Ian?

Would you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz, Cheese Was?

Would you call birds who stick together vel-crows?

I am considering having a chip implanted in my body but I cannot decide between cool ranch or barbeque.

I decided to take took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish.

I heard that the reason why cow-milking stools only have three legs is because the cow’s got the udder.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Deep and simple are far, far more important than shallow and complicated and fancy. “ ~ Fred Rogers

Friday Funny April 4, 2025 An April Shower of Jokes

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Happy Friday!  It is spring and it is April and that means April showers and, it seems, lots and lots of them.  Let’s not let the weather dampen our spirits.  Here are some rain jokes to bring a little sunshine to your day.

Enjoy!

What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road? “Grate.”

Would you call dangerous precipitation a rain of terror?

Would you call baby owl left out in the rain a was a moist owlet?

Would you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain a driplodocus?

Is the best way to wash a waterproof rain jacket to dry clean it?

If it was raining salad dressing, would that be a to-RANCH-al downfall?

I remember being in a softball tournament that was canceled because of heavy rain.  We all received a precipitation trophy.

Raindrop pick-up line: “Water you doing tonight?”

Did you know that rain clouds don’t have a sense of humor?  They take everything too cirrus-ly.

You can tell if your cat likes stormy weather if when it rains, it purrs.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” ~ Dolly Parton

Friday Funny March 28, 2025 Play Ball! Heckles for Batters

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Happy Friday!  Winter is behind us and spring is here and spring means it is baseball season!  Opening Day was today, so to get you in the swing of things, here are some heckle lines you can break out next time you go to a game.  But, please don’t use these at your child’s little league game.

Enjoy!

You’ve got fewer hits than Vanilla Ice!

You’ve got fewer hits than an Amish website!

I’ve seen better swings at the playground!

I’ve seen better cuts at the deli!

I’ve seen better cuts on a Bee-Gee’s album!

In your case DH stands for Doesn’t Hit!

Hey, Mendoza called. He wants his line back!

This guy hasn’t driven anybody home since the senior prom!

I saw better bats at Mammoth Cave!

That was a Linda Ronstadt pitch – it Blue Bayou!

This guy couldn’t hit a shift key!

This guy swings like a rusty gate!

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.” ~ Hank Aaron