This past week certainly brought many a strong dose of winter weather.  So, I thought it was time to thaw out a few blonde jokes. 

A Blonde Driver
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, “Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.” The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!” Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, and knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says,
“Hi, my name is Kevin.” “It’s winter here in Ohio and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!”

Another Blonde Driver
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the blonde lady got off work.  She made her way across the parking lot to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy’s advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it.

As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped, the driver got out, came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snowplow driver wanted to know if she was all right, since she had been following him for a long time.

She said she was fine and told him her daddy’s advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard. The driver replied that it was fine with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the parking lot and was going over to Wal-mart to plow their lot next.

Norman and His Blonde Wife

One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast.

They hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.” Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast – again, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your -car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.” Norman’s wife goes out-and moves her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio Announcer says “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park…” Then the power goes out.

Norman’s wife is very upset and with a worried look on her face she says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I park on so the snowplows can get through?”

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, Norman says… “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time ..”

Among the allure of New Years is the hope for a new start which is why we make resolutions.  One of my resolutions is to confront the monsters in my basement.  The problem in my basement was not always that bad, but over the years the monsters have grown and multiplied to the point that one can hardly find a path through them all.  Of course there are not literal monsters in my basement; I mean the stuff that has accumulated over the years, the monsters of my past.

For the first couple of decades of my adult, married life, we moved fairly often.  My wife used to say that when the baseboards needed to be cleaned, it was time to move.  The moving has slowed down and we have been in the same house for more than a decade now.  The baseboards have long passed the need for that initial cleaning and as the years have drifted by, the basement has filled up.

It is a daunting task to tackle one’s past, to clean out the junk and organize the things that are useful, to decide which sentimental items to hold on to and which to let go of.  Even finding a starting point is not easy.    I am not, never have been, never will be a handy person, and so I figured the place to start cleaning out the monsters was on the work bench in the basement.  My first thought upon sorting through the junk piled on the workbench was wondering how, why and when a person as unhandy as me managed to accumulate such an assortment of nails, screws, nuts and bolts.  My second thought was trying to remember if I ever worked for a phone or cable company because it looks like I have enough wire to take care of a small subdivision.

After a day and a couple of trips to take out the trash, the workbench was clear but there is still a lot of work to be done.  There are the toys, toys that belong to boys who are no longer boys, toys that have followed me through my life and books filling bookshelves and in boxes as well as an abundance of miscellaneous stuff.

But I have made a start on ridding myself of the monsters in the basement although there is much work that remains.  It also occurred to me that this is an exercise that is fitting not just for my basement but for my life as well for over time we let our lives get filled with stuff too.  So this year my resolution is to take control of the monsters, those in my basement and those in my life.

Leonard

Happy New Year!  Here is hoping that 2014 is a great year.  The New Year brings new opportunities and the opportunity for a new start, hence the idea of a New Year resolutions.

There are the typical resolutions:

Lose weight

Work out

Be Nice

Then there are more unique resolutions like starting a blog.  This year I have both the usual (I need to drop a few pounds and eat better) and the more unique, to blog.  Now I am not exactly sure what a blog is, but more than a few people have encouraged me to do it. (I don’t do what everyone tells me to do by the way – more than a few people have told me to jump in a lake, but I do not plan on doing that in 2014!)

What will I do?  Well once a week, I will try to inject a little bit of thought and hopefully enough humor to bring a bit of a smile to your face.  I have been doing a Friday email for a number of years now.  It stated with a dozen high school friends and has kind of morphed from that.  It will be suitable for all ages.   As we face the struggles and uncertainties of life in the twenty-first century, I firmly believe that a little laughter will help us get through it.

So, here is my favor to ask, sign-up for the blog and tell your friends and acquaintances to sign-up and get this off the ground.