Happy Friday! I hope these jokes about books bring you a smile or two.

Enjoy!

I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov’s Dog and Schrodinger’s Cat. She said it rang a bell but wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

I went to the library for a book to teach me how to fix my car’s automatic transmission, but they only had manuals.

Did you know that they don’t allow accountants in libraries because they are bookkeepers?

I am writing a book on how tornados and hurricanes develop, so far it is just a draft.

I am writing a book about the things I should be doing in life, it’s an ought-to- biography.

I am writing a book about time travel; it is really making me think outside the clocks.

I have been reading a book about brown bears.  It is very through and includes all of the grizzly details.

I have been reading a book about the history of WD-40, it is non friction.

I ordered a book of jokes online 2 years ago I finally got it.

Dystopian novels are so 1984.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Show me a family of readers, and I will show you the people who move the world.” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

Happy Friday!  Hope you have had a pleasant week. How about some librarian jokes to kick off the weekend?

Enjoy!

They took the clock off the wall at my local library, it seems it tocks too much.

I heard that a librarian’s favorite vegetable is quiet peas.

It was the librarian’s birthday; I wished her many happy returns.

Did you know that librarians like to sleep between the covers?

A book fell on the librarian’s head, she only had her shelf to blame.

I have a friend who retired after a successful tenure as a librarian.  It turns out she had quite a storied career.

I went to the library and checked out a book on Stockholm Syndrome. At first, I did not like it, but by the end I thought it was great.

What did the Librarian say to the Sir Mix-a-Lot? “I like big books and I cannot lie”.

Is it true that librarians organize their parties by the Dewey Decimal System?

I enjoy telling jokes to librarians, they always get the reference.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.” – P.J. O’Rourke

Happy Friday!  As the days get a bit cooler and shorter, it is a great time to curl up with a good book and maybe a few book jokes too.

Enjoy!

The other day I went to the library and I asked the librarian for a book on Schrodinger’s Cat and Pavlov’s dog.  She said it rang a bell but she didn’t know if it was there or not.

Then I asked where I could find the self-help section.  She just looked and me and told me that if she told me where it was, that would defeat the purpose. 

Then I asked her if they had any books on paranoia.  She leaned over and whispered, “they’re right behind you.”

Then She suggested a book about Stockholm Syndrome.  It had a pretty bad start, but by the end I really liked it.

She also told me that she had won a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Librarians Association, it seems she had a storied career.

Last week, I started reading a book about an immortal dog.  It was impossible to put down

I really liked the Harry Potter books but I think the character of Nearly Headless Nick was pretty poorly executed.

My grandson noticed me read “War and Peace”, and asked, “Why is that book so thick?”  “Well,” I said, “it’s a long story.”

I have written a book on tapeworms.  In hindsight, paper would have been better.

I am considering killing some characters in the book I am writing. I think it would definitely spice up my autobiography.

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A chicken walks into a library, and says to the librarian: “Book, book, book.”

The librarian takes three books and hands them to the chicken.

On the way out the chicken runs into a frog and shows him the books and says: “Book, book, book.”

The frog replies: “Reddit, reddit, reddit.”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Never judge a book by its movie.” ~ J. W. Eagan