Happy Friday – already three weeks down in 2021!  Let’s kick off this Friday with a few computer related jokes chosen especially for you.

Enjoy!

Is it true that you should not use “beef stew” as a computer password because it is not stroganoff?

Was the computer tired when it got home from work because it had a hard drive?

If you crossed a computer programmer with an athlete would you get a disk-us thrower?

Is it true that a computer’s favorite music is Disk-O?

I read a news story about some computer hackers who escaped from the scene of their crime.  Apparently, they just ransomware.

Is it true that when computers want a snack, they prefer to eat chips?

If a doctor tells you that your eye injury was caused by staring at a computer screen for too long, you just might have a terminal disease.

Is it true that the computer crossed the road because it had been programmed by a chicken?

If you hold a hard drive to your ear can you hear the C:?

They say you are supposed to back up your files, but I still haven’t found reverse on my PC.

I had one more computer joke for you but it wasn’t funny. Not one bit.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashes… oh, wait a minute, he already does.” ~Author Unknown

http://www.quotegarden.com

Happy Friday! I hope you have had a good week. I heard today about a nasty computer virus that was going around. I did a little research and found that there are quite a few computer viruses making the rounds and I wanted to share these with you in the hope that you can avoid them.

Enjoy!

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a few bytes out of your Apple.

Star Trek virus: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before. 

Health Insurance virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

C-nile virus – It makes your computer forget where it put your files.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus – Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back!

Couch Potato Virus – Just sits there, eating computer chips all day. 

Disney virus – Everything on the computer looks Goofy.

Economist virus – Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Airline virus: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. 

Paul Revere virus – Warns you of impending hard disk attack- Once, if by LAN; twice if by C. 

PBS virus – Your computer stops every fifteen minutes to ask for a tax deductible contribution.

Politically Correct virus – Never calls itself a “virus,” but instead refers to itself as an “independent electronic micro-organism.”

Survivor Virus – Deletes your files one by one over 13 weeks until only the most annoying one remains. 

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. 

KFC virus: makes your computer kick the bucket.

Joke Virus – poses as a harmless list of funny computer Virus names. Is quickly passed from one user to all other users via e-mail, consequently consuming all known network resources. Types of computer viruses

Thought for the Week

“Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.“~Anonymous