Monthly Archives: December 2023

Friday Funny December 29, 2023 Jokes to Ring In 2024

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Happy New Year!  It is time to say “goodbye” to 2023 and “welcome” to 2024.  I want to thank you for letting me invade your Fridays in 2023.  I wish you peace and joy in 2024! 

Enjoy!

It is almost New Year’s Eve and I am having a bout of auld-langietxy about what my New Year’s resolutions should be.

You could be like Dr. Frankenstein and have a New Year’s resolution to make new friends.

I find it interesting that every New Year’s Eve, I look forward to tuning into a good show at Time’s Square, yet year after year, they drop the ball.

Last New Year’s Eve close to midnight, Dracula passed out and there was a count down.

Is it true that soccer players are the worst at following through with their New Year’s resolutions because they always seem to be running away from their goals?

My New Years resolution is to eat 1200 calories a day. I am pretty confident I can surpass that goal on a regular basis.

A few Dad jokes to close out the year:

I have this amazing ability that I can tell when someone is lying just by looking at them.  I can also tell when they are standing.

My computer is mad at my printer, apparently it didn’t like its toner voice.

Did you hear that laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii? It seems they only permit a low “ha.”

Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.

I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.

A guy walked into a bar, and lost the limbo contest.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Friday Funny December 22, 2023 One More Batch of Christmas Jokes.

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Happy Friday and Merry Christmas!  Christmas is just a few days away and I have one more batch of Christmas jokes just for you.

Enjoy!

Is it true that at Christmas, sheep send each other wool-tide bleatings?

At Christmas, do sheep say Merry Christmas to ewe?

Is it true that a lamb’s favorite Christmas carol is “Have Yourself a Mary Little Christmas”?

Would a sheep greet you at Christmas with Fleece Navidad?

Is it true that Scrooge kept a pet lamb because it would say, “Baaa humbug!”?

Is it true that Santa’s favorite U.S state is Idaho-ho-ho?

I recently read a story about a guy who stole an Advent Calendar. He got 25 days.

You know why you never see Santa in the hospital? Because he has private elf care!

I heard that when Santa has an elf who misbehaves, he gives them the sack.

I heard that the Christmas tree went toe the barber shop because it needed to be trimmed.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” ~ Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol

Friday Funny December 15, 2023 More Christmas Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Less than a week of the days getting shorter and less than two weeks until Christmas!  In the spirit of the season, here are some more Christmas jokes.

Enjoy!

Is it true that if you eat Christmas decorations you will get tinsel-it-is?

I heard that when reindeer have sleepovers, they like to play truth or deer.

Is it true that a Christmas tree’s favorite candy is orna-mints?

I heard that Rudolph had to attend summer school because he went down in history.

If someone has lost their Christmas spirit, should you nurse them back to elf?

Is it true that on the day after Christmas, the elves clean Santa’s sleigh using Santa-tizer?

I heard that snow globes never get scared; however, they do occasionally get shaken.

Is it true that Christmas trees do not knit because they keeping dropping their needles?

I heard that Santa uses a GPS because he doesn’t want to be a lost Claus.

If Santa’s sleigh broke down, would he need to get mistle-toed?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men in whom he is well pleased.” ~ Luke 2:13-14

Friday Funny December 8, 2023, Even More Christmas Mondegreens

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Happy Friday!  It is time to pullout some more Christmas mondegreens!  (A mondegreen is a word or phrase that results from mishearing or misinterpreting a statement or song lyric.) So, have a chuckle at some mangled song lyrics.

Enjoy!

All I Want for Christmas

Misheard lyric: “Take back the Harley and mistletoe”

Correct lyric: “Take back the holly and mistletoe”

Frosty the Snowman

Misheard lyric: “With a broom stuck in his head”

Correct lyric: “With a broom stuck in his hand”

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

Misquoted lyric: “Grandma got run over by a reindeer, walking home from outhouse on Christmas Eve”

Correct lyric: “Grandma got run over by a reindeer, walking home from our house on Christmas Eve”

Winter Wonderland

Misheard lyric: “In the meadow we can build a snowman and pretend that he is sparse and brown”

Correct lyric: “In the meadow we can build a snowman and pretend that he is Parson Brown”

White Christmas

Misheard lyric: “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, with every Christmas card arrived”

Correct lyric: “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, with every Christmas card I write”

“Good King Wenceslas”

Misheard lyric: “Gath’ring wine and gruel”

Correct lyric: “Gath’ring winter fuel”

Joy to the World

Misheard lyric: “Let men their sins enjoy”

Correct lyric: “Let men then songs employ”

God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen

Misheard lyric: “God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing through this May”

Correct lyric: “God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay”

Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

Misheard Lyric: “He’ll seize you when you’re sleeping”

Correct Lyric: “He sees you when you’re sleeping”

Away In a Manger

Misheard Lyric: “The cattle are blowing the poor baby away”

Correct Lyric: “The cattle are lowing, the poor baby wakes.”

Auld Lang Syne”  

 Misheard Lyric: “And make the old man cry”

Correct Lyrics: “And days of auld lang syne”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Oh, Christmas isn’t just a day; it’s a frame of mind.” ~ Kris Kringle in “Miracle on 34th Street.