Monthly Archives: July 2024

Friday Funny July 26, 2024 More Dog Days of Summer Jokes

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Happy Friday! We are approaching the end of July and heading into August.  I suppose you could say we are heading into the Dog Days of Summer.  So, why not some dog jokes this week?

Enjoy!

A friend told me that every day when he gets home, he asks his dog how his day was, and every day he always receives the same reply, “Ruff.”

I once bought a dog from a blacksmith, as soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.

The other day, I thought I saw a white dog, but after I spotted it I noticed it looked more like a Dalmatian.

I took my dog to the lake to day and noticed he floats very well, he’s a good buoy!

Did you hear about the dog who was stealing shingles because he wanted to become a woofer?

I heard that the difference between a businessman and a warm dog is that the businessman wears a suit but the dog just pants.

I recently planted a pet tree, and it’s like having a pet dog except the bark is much quieter.

Did you know that Corgi are not funny because all of them are really short?

If you connect a Corgi to a battery, would you get a short circuit?

Would you call a large dog that meditates an aware wolf?

Doesn’t it seem odd that dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings since it is almost never for them?

I have prepared a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: if you send me $19.95 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The tales of summer are as endless as the heatwaves that ripple across the horizon.” ~ Renee Ahdieh

PODCAST ALERT!!

You can check out the latest episode of “Leonard Looks At Life” at this link: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-leonard-looks-at-life-126237165/episode/time-is-money-199043446/

Friday Funny July 19, 2024 Laws of Nature

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Happy Friday!  As you approach another weekend, I want to help you stay on the right side of the law.  So please not the unique laws below and behave accordingly.

Enjoy!

In Mississippi, it is illegal to give beer to an elephant.

In Florida, it is illegal to park to tie your elephant to a parking meter without paying the parking fee.

In San Francisco, it is illegal to take your elephant on a walk unless it is on a leash.

In Massachusetts, it is illegal to have a gorilla in the backseat of your car.

In Nevada, it is illegal to have a camel on the highway.

In Missouri, it is illegal to wrestle a bear.

In Arizona, it is illegal to let your donkey sleep in the bathtub.

In Alabama, it is illegal to blindfold your pets in the car.

In Idaho, it is illegal to allow your pet to smoke a cigar.

In Minnesota, it is illegal for a cat to chase a dog up a telephone pole.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.” ~ Aristotle

It has been a few weeks, but I have dropped a new podcast – you can find it at the following link.

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2234608/episodes/15420399-time-for-another-podcast

Friday Funny July 12, 2024 Posting a Few Social Media Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Seems like we are surrounded and perhaps assaulted by social media every day. So, we might as well laugh at it too.

Enjoy!

I decided not to follow my local fence company on social media, they do not have enough posts available.

The other night I was visiting the Facebook page of a famous cook.  I wanted to look at his thyme-line.

Did you know that the difference between a bench and a social media influencer is that a bench can support a family?

Did you hear about the social media marketer who broke up with her boyfriend?  It seems there was a lack of involvement.

Did you hear about the pastor who hired a digital marketing professional because he needed help raising his conversion rates?

Did you hear about the social media marketer who took up tap dancing because he was getting paid by the click?

Did you hear about the author who could not get his Facebook posts to go viral no matter how hard he tried?  It was “The Never-trending Story.”

Did you hear about the cat who was famous on Facebook?  It’s true, she was a real social meowdia expert.

I am very pragmatic when it comes to social media.  I believe that the ends justify the memes.

If Facebook had a “no one cares” button, would it be the most clicked option?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.” ~ Andrew Carnegie

Friday Funny July 5, 2024 A Few Old Jokes

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Happy Friday and Happy 4th of July Weekend!! Time keeps marching on and I keep getting older.  I cannot change that fact, but I can laugh about it.

Enjoy!

I have increased the amount of processed foods in my diet.  I figure at my age, I need all the preservatives I can get.

I recently took an aptitude test at work.  It appears that the work I am best suited for is retirement.

I must be getting old, the last time I went to my doctor, he gave me a referral to an archaeologist.

I do not think of myself as old, I am just chronologically gifted.

I recently saw an old magician, he performed geri-hat-tricks.

I am at that age where looking in the mirror is like watching the news. I am pretty sure there will be some new developments I won’t like.

They say with age comes wisdom. I am still waiting for the wisdom part to kick in.

The older I get, the better I was.

Why is it that everyone my age is older than me?

It seems like someone saying you are aging gracefully is just a nice way of saying you are slowly looking worse.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“I don’t let my age define me, but the side effects are getting harder to ignore.” ~Unknown