Happy Friday! Seems like it is about time for some more computer jokes.

Enjoy!

I put my internet router in my basement, you might say that I come from a LAN down under.

Would you call a computer mouse that swears a lot; a cursor?

Have you ever tried smelling the F5 key on your keyboard?  It’s very refreshing

My computer said my password is insecure. You know if it wasn’t forced to have such strict requirements it might be a bit more confident.

Did you know that there is a chemical that is released in your brain when you see something funny on the internet?  It is called Dopa-meme.

I heard about a farmer who was having a lot of trouble with his internet.  He moved the modem to the barn and now he has stable wi-fi.

I heard about the computer that got married to the wi-fi, it appears that had a strong connection.

I heard about two web developers that got married, it was love at first site.

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. It seems that I was not putting in enough shifts.

Would you call a computer superhero a Screen Saver?

I heard that computer programmers decide what to wear to work by consulting the dress code.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer.” ~William Petersen

Happy Friday – already three weeks down in 2021!  Let’s kick off this Friday with a few computer related jokes chosen especially for you.

Enjoy!

Is it true that you should not use “beef stew” as a computer password because it is not stroganoff?

Was the computer tired when it got home from work because it had a hard drive?

If you crossed a computer programmer with an athlete would you get a disk-us thrower?

Is it true that a computer’s favorite music is Disk-O?

I read a news story about some computer hackers who escaped from the scene of their crime.  Apparently, they just ransomware.

Is it true that when computers want a snack, they prefer to eat chips?

If a doctor tells you that your eye injury was caused by staring at a computer screen for too long, you just might have a terminal disease.

Is it true that the computer crossed the road because it had been programmed by a chicken?

If you hold a hard drive to your ear can you hear the C:?

They say you are supposed to back up your files, but I still haven’t found reverse on my PC.

I had one more computer joke for you but it wasn’t funny. Not one bit.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashes… oh, wait a minute, he already does.” ~Author Unknown

http://www.quotegarden.com

Happy Friday! I hope you have had a good week. I heard today about a nasty computer virus that was going around. I did a little research and found that there are quite a few computer viruses making the rounds and I wanted to share these with you in the hope that you can avoid them.

Enjoy!

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a few bytes out of your Apple.

Star Trek virus: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before. 

Health Insurance virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

C-nile virus – It makes your computer forget where it put your files.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus – Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back!

Couch Potato Virus – Just sits there, eating computer chips all day. 

Disney virus – Everything on the computer looks Goofy.

Economist virus – Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Airline virus: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. 

Paul Revere virus – Warns you of impending hard disk attack- Once, if by LAN; twice if by C. 

PBS virus – Your computer stops every fifteen minutes to ask for a tax deductible contribution.

Politically Correct virus – Never calls itself a “virus,” but instead refers to itself as an “independent electronic micro-organism.”

Survivor Virus – Deletes your files one by one over 13 weeks until only the most annoying one remains. 

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. 

KFC virus: makes your computer kick the bucket.

Joke Virus – poses as a harmless list of funny computer Virus names. Is quickly passed from one user to all other users via e-mail, consequently consuming all known network resources. Types of computer viruses

Thought for the Week

“Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.“~Anonymous