I’ve started investing in stocks; beef, chicken, and vegetable. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

My friend told me that I should invest in his start-up sword-making business.  He makes some excellent points.

Another friend wants me to invest in her start-up perfume businesses.  She makes scents.

I read about a guy who went to prison for investing in Apple, it turns out it was in cider trading.

Did you hear about the stock trader who was electrocuted?  He shorted Tesla.

I bought stock in a see-saw company, it has had its share of ups and downs.

I bought stock in a boomerang business. There is a guaranteed return on investment.

My investment broker retired to run a celery farm.  He thinks he can make a killing in the stalk market.

I heard about a bond and debt seminar where everyone fell asleep.  There was little or no interest.

I was going to invest in a new joke-sharing service, but it turns out it was just a punzi scheme.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent.” ~ John Maynard Keynes

Happy Friday!  Trick or Treat is almost upon us and this week the stock market gave us some of both along with a scary ride!  Just in case you could not muster the courage to watch the stock market this week, here are some stock headlines you might have missed.

Enjoy!

Boeing quickly took off at the opening bell

PepsiCo disappointed with flat earnings

Trading in Visa was charged in early trading

Proctor and Gamble touched a new bottom

Interest in Hills Bros Coffee was percolating throughout the day

Interest in Home Depot was building

Facebook earnings were widely followed

Energizer Holdings, Inc. exploded in an attempt to recharge the market

Exxon – Mobile ran out of gas toward the end of the session

Microsoft was crashing during the day

Google was widely searched

Ebay was trending up with high bidding

FedEx delivered profit as expected

Investors are losing interest in JP Morgan Chase

Disney saw a lot of animated trading

Norfolk Southern earnings were off the rails

Dollar General was heavily discounted

Earnings for the Kraft Heinz Company were awaited with great anticipation

Deere & Company leaped early in the session

Otis Elevators saw their stock price go up and down

Thought for the Week

“October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” ~ Mark Twain

Happy Friday!  With the stock market reaching historic highs, it seemed like a good time to share market insights.

Enjoy!

Among the happenings in the stock markets this week:

The price of Starbucks perked up

Recent events have taken a bite out Apple’s market value

United Airlines was dragged down by the market

Daily volume for UPS has picked up

Ford prices have temporarily stalled

MasterCard is charging ahead

Gillette’s profit margins are razor-thin

Investors seem to be losing interest in Wells Fargo

AT&T has dialed-up its forecast

Microsoft appears ready for a reboot

Marlboro’s profits are going up in smoke.

Lowe’s profits are in rebuilding stage

Thought for the Week

“The four most dangerous words in investing are: ‘this time it’s different.'” – Sir John Templeton