Happy Friday! Here are some Dad Joke’s for you to ponder as you mucnh on the leftover Halloween candy this weekend,

Enjoy!

It seems like I only get sick on weekdays. I wonder if I have a weekend immune system.

If I ever find the doctor who messed up my limb replacement surgery, I think I will strangle him with my bear hands.

I heard that it is pretty easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but a lot harder to deter gents.

Last week I found a wooden shoe in my toilet. It was clogged.

I once had a girl break up with me because of my obsession with pasta. It left me feeling cannelloni for a long time.

My boss was upset with me for downloading the entire Wikipedia.  I said, “Wait! I can explain everything!”

I think I am obsessed with collecting vintage Beatles albums. I need Help.

I do not mean to brag, but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

I remember when I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Unfortunately, it turns out that identity theft is a crime.

When I took calculus, I had to sit between identical twins. I found it very difficult to differentiate between them.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. “~Edward John Phelps, 1889

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