Author Archives: Leonard

Friday Funny December 19, 2025 More Christmas Jokes for 2025

Leave a reply

Happy Friday!  I hope you have your shopping done and your decorations are up because Christmas is less than one week away!  So, here are some more Christmas jokes to get you ready.

Enjoy!

Did you know that Captain Nemo never gets any presents from Santa because he is always on the Nautilus.

If someone is not sure about whether Santa exists or not would you call him an eggnogstic?

I read that Santa’s computer system has been hacked.  I knew he should not have accepted all those cookies.

Be sure to read all the terms and conditions on the Christmas present you receive, they are, after all, the Santa clauses.

Did you hear about the rope that did not get any presents from Santa because he was on the Knotty List?

It has been such a good year at the North Pole that Santa bought new cars for all his elves, it is a whole fleet of  Toy-otas.

I heard that Elton John wanted the lead role in the Santa Claus movies, but they turned him down for the part because he only has a tiny Dancer.

Did you know that the only letter to receive presents from Santa is the Letter E?  All the all the other letters are not E.

Did you know that Santa is able to enter any home on Christmas Eve even without a search warrant because he has Probable Claus?

Do you know where does Santa goes to buy stuff for the naughty kids? Kohl’s.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“For it is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child Himself.” ~ Charles Dickens, “A Christmas Carol”

Friday Funny December 12, 2025 Jokes for Christmas 2025

Leave a reply

Happy Friday!  It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas and it is less than two weeks away now!  And to my Jewish Friends, Happy Hannukah that begins Sunday!

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the tree who went to the barber because he needed a trim?

Did you know that everyone at the North Pole is thirsty because there is no well?

Did you know that if you eat Christmas decorations you can get tinsel-itis?

Did you know that after Christmas, Santa stores his suit in a Claus-et?

I heard that a vegan’s favorite Christmas carol is “Soy to the World.”

I heard that the favorite game for reindeer to play at sleepovers is Truth or Deer.

I heard that good King Wenceslas likes his pizza deep pan, crisp and even.

Would you call a Santa Claus who declared bankruptcy Saint-nickel-less?

Would you call a Christmas Wreath made entirely of $100 bills a wreath-of-Franklins?

If Santa bought a motorbike, it would probably be a Holly Davidson.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!” ~ How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Friday Funny December 5. 2025 Winter Jokes to Warm Your Heart

Leave a reply

Happy Friday!  Happy December!  The Holiday season has started and we are drawing to the conclusion of yet another year.  The days have gotten shorter and colder and while the official start of winter is a couple of weeks away, it feels like the right time for some Winter jokes.

Enjoy!

Is it true that snowmen call their kids chill-dren?

Is it true that the favorite Mexican dish for snowmen  is burrr-itos?

Did you hear about the kid who kept his trumpet out in the snow because he wanted to play cool jazz?

Did you hear about the snowman James Bond? He has a license to chill.

Would you call a wreath made of $100 bills, a wreath of Franklins?

If you crossed a snowman with a baker would you get Frosty the Dough-man?

I considered starting my own ski resort, but it’s a slippery slope.

You should not use your loyalty card to scrape ice from your windshield. You will only get 10% off.

I am concerned about my snow globe; it looks a bit shaken up.

What do you call a reindeer without eyes? No eye deer.

What do you call a reindeer without eyes and legs?  Still, no eye deer.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake, it is necessary to stand out in the cold.” ~ Aristotle

Friday Funny November 21. 2025 Thanksgiving Jokes 2025

Leave a reply

Happy Friday! It is hard to believe that Thanksgiving is less than a week away!  As we enter into another holiday season, I want to wish you the best!

Enjoy!

I heard that the best Thanksgiving sides are delivered by Yam-azon.

I heard that the mashed potatoes crossed the road to get to the other sides.

Did you hear about the turkey who was a bad bowling?  Nothing but gutterballs.

At Thanksgiving dinner, do chemistry students sit at the periodic table?

Is the most popular side at the kids’ table crayon-berry sauce?

If you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter, do you get pumpkin pi?

Is the part that green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner known as the casse-role?

If you want to make Thanksgiving s’mores do you use Pil-grahams?

 On the day after the first Thanksgiving did the Pilgrims return to the Mayflower to hoist the Black Friday sail?

I have talking salt and pepper shakers I put out for Thanksgiving, the say, “Seasoning’s greetings!”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” ~ Thorton Wilder

Friday Funny November 14, 2025McRib-tickling Jokes Only For A Limited Time.

Leave a reply

Happy Friday!  I saw the other day that the McRib, the fruit cake of sandwiches is back for a limited time.  So, here are some McDonald’s jokes for you to chew on.

Enjoy!

The McRib is made from ground boneless pork shoulder, not rib meat. The ground pork is mixed with water, spices, and other ingredients to create a patty that is then shaped to look like a rack of ribs and slathered in barbecue sauce.  It is just a Mcfigment if your imagination.

Given the success of McRib, McDonalds is considering a new sandwich made entirely of beef lips.  They plan on calling it the McJagger.

A few years ago, McDonald’s tried to get into the high-end steakhouse market, it, it turned out to be a Big Mcsteak.

Did you know that McDonald’s is planning on making a Shakespearen play? It’s called McBeth

Is it true that the computer used by Ronald McDonald is a big Mac with virus protection by McAfee?

I went to McDonalds today and ordered two large fries, but instead they gave me lot of little ones.

How does Ronald McDonald introduce his girlfriend?  Meet Patty.

The other day, I went to McDonald’s and ate a kids meal.  His parents were not happy.

Ronald McDonald started jogging, but he couldn’t ketchup.

I heard that Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger.  Turns out he has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“No one of us is more important than the rest of us.” ~ Ray Kroc

Friday Funny November 7, 2025 Am I Dumb?

2 Replies

Happy Friday!  Sometimes I do things that make me feel dumb,

Enjoy! 

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I went to the dentist to get my Bluetooth fixed?

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I went to the library to checkout Facebook?

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I tried to go swimming on a pool table?

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I once climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side?

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I put a watch in a piggybank to save time?

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I thought Daylight Savings was a bank?

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I thought light sabers had fewer calories?

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I once sent a fax with a stamp on it?

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats?

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I bought Norton antivirus when I had a cold?

Would you think that I am dumb if I told you that I stopped running because people kept telling me that running was bad for my niece?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” ~ Albert Einstein

Friday Funny October 31, 2025 Jokes Dressed For Halloween

Leave a reply

Happy Friday!  Happy Halloween!  I rounded up some Halloween jokes for you.  There are not any skeleton jokes, I do not find them humerus.

Enjoy!

I once dressed up as a Brillo pad for Halloween, but it was just too abrasive for some people.

I once dressed up as a harp for Halloween.  Someone told me that my costume was too short to be a harp.  I think they were calling me a lyre.

I once dressed up as a spoon for Halloween.  I was a cereal killer.

I once dressed up as a horse for Halloween.  I was a real night mare.

I once dressed up as a cat for Halloween.  But I was allergic to the costume and ended up not feline well.

One Halloween I wore a sheet covered with picture of jalapenos.  I was a Ghost Pepper.

One Halloween I just carried a sign that said, “I love ceilings.” Someone asked me what I was supposed to be, I simply said, “I’m a ceiling fan.”

I was thinking about buying a police costume for Halloween. But I am cheap, so I think I will just go undercover.

I was thinking of dressing up as a Band-Aid for Halloween.  But I think it would be hard to pull off.

I think the term “Halloween costume” is outdated.  I think we should use the term “occultural appropriation.”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“We all go a little mad sometimes.” ~ Norman Baters, Psycho

Friday Funny October 24, 2025 Jokes Are Fall-ing

Leave a reply

It feels like fall has arrived and fall means leaves are falling.  Sounds like time for some tree jokes.

Enjoy!

One time a lumberjack told me he had cut down 5,982 trees during the year.  I asked him how he knew the exact number.  He said that he kept a log.

Somone asked me what I knew about bonsai trees, I replied, “very little.”

I heard that introverted trees are afraid of being chopped down because they don’t want to dialog.

You know trees are like a good friend, they stick around.

Did you hear about the lonely tree that could never stop thinking about high school? She is still pining to be one of the poplar kids.

Growing up I was best friends with a kid who had a really neat treehouse we would hang out in every day.  Unfortunately we had a falling-out.

If you crossed a salmon with a tree branch would you get fish sticks?

A tree was telling me about his retirement plan, he has  Fir01k fully invested  in the stick market.

If you invite a tree to your party, just remember that they will be the last one to leaf.

I would you tell you a joke about tree-free paper but it’s tear-able.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“He who plants a tree plants hope.” ~  Lucy Larcom

Friday Funny October 17, 2025 Read These Jokes And Call Me In the Morning.

Leave a reply

Let’s kick off the day with some morning jokes.

Enjoy!

Every morning, when I go out, I get hit by the same bike.  It is a vicious cycle.

Someone keeps dropping off Lego blocks at my front door every morning. I don’t know what to make of it.

Someone keeps dropping a bunch of celery at my front door every morning. I think I am being stalked.

When you go to church in the morning you say, “Amen.” So, if you go to church in the afternoon do you say, “Pmen”?

The other morning, I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers and I thought to myself, I really should wash the coffee cups.

Once, early in the morning, I snuck onto a beach.  The coast was clear.

One morning I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth. The rest of the day I spoke with a weird axe scent.

This morning, I made a chicken salad, the silly bird did not even look at it.

This morning, I caught my kids with graphing paper. I’m pretty sure they are plotting something.

I find it pretty easy to roll out of bed in the morning.  On the other hand, getting up off the floor is not as easy.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” ~ Groucho Marx

Friday Funny October 10, 2025 – Friday Fun At The Office

Leave a reply

Happy Friday! This week, I have done some deep Internet research to offer you some tips on how to make this Friday fun and memorable at work.

Enjoy!

Start the day by sending an e-mail to everyone saying that there are donuts in the break room, if someone says they were all gone then just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, “Oh you’ve got to be faster than that.” See how long it takes until the last person stops believing you.   Repeat at lunch time sending out an email that there is free pizza.

Send email to yourself engaging yourself in a spirited debate about the direction of one of your company’s products/services or this week’s football schedule. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask them to settle the argumant.

Compose all your e-mails using only the wingdings font.

Put a sign on your photocopier that says “New Copier – Voice activated – please speak your command” Just sit back, watch and listen.

Call your boss’s voice mail and leave the following message: “We’re not sure if you wanted us to do it, you know, after what happened, so, well, we went ahead and did it anyway. If you don’t like it, we can probably take it out, but we’ll have to charge you extra. Please return this call immediately. Thanks.”

Enlist a co-worker and have a contest to see who can sign the boss’s email address up for the most email alerts/newsletters in an hour.

Make today the day that you determine just how many cups of coffee is “too many.”

Bring a karaoke machine and set it up in the break room, only have Halloween songs or songs with yodeling.

For one hour, page yourself on the intercom every five minutes; do not disguise your voice.

For one hour, after every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “That is a great idea, Mon.”

For one hour, speak with an accent (French, Indian, Elmer Fudd, etc.)

Put hole reinforcing circles on the center of your eyeglasses. If you don’t wear glasses try to cover your nose with them.

If a co-worker sneezes, quickly yell “SHUT UP!” If they sneeze a second time, follow up with “I SAID SHUT UP!”  A third time, leave the room while saying “NO ONE EVER LISTENS TO ME!”

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi.”

Thought for the Week

“There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.”  ~David Letterman