Author Archives: Leonard

Friday Funny October 2, 2025 Disappointing Jokes.

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Happy Friday!  The baseball playoffs began this week and I will admit that I am disappointed that the Reds made a quick exit stage left.  So, let’s turn disappointment into a few laughs.

Enjoy!

Gravity is such a disappointment; it always lets me down.

I recently bought a DVD on dealing with disappointment. When I opened it, the box was empty.

Am I the only one that finds it disappointing that the word “stealth” doesn’t have a silent letter in it?

I was disappointed when I tried track in high school and I couldn’t even jump one hurdle, but I got over it.

I was so disappointed with my pillow case. Turns out that it is nothing but a sham.

I was so disappointed with the documentary on mathematical functions I watched.  The plot line was predictable and the special f(x) was awful too.

I was so disappointed when I went to the new court house themed restaurant. all they gave me was frozen water, just-ice was served.

I was so disappointed when I told a chemistry joke but there was no reaction.

Would you call a disappointed cat a sigh-amise?

Would you call a disappointed giant a sigh-clops?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Friday Funny September 26, 2025 Book Jokes That Are Bound To Make You Laugh

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Happy Friday! I hope these jokes about books bring you a smile or two.

Enjoy!

I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov’s Dog and Schrodinger’s Cat. She said it rang a bell but wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

I went to the library for a book to teach me how to fix my car’s automatic transmission, but they only had manuals.

Did you know that they don’t allow accountants in libraries because they are bookkeepers?

I am writing a book on how tornados and hurricanes develop, so far it is just a draft.

I am writing a book about the things I should be doing in life, it’s an ought-to- biography.

I am writing a book about time travel; it is really making me think outside the clocks.

I have been reading a book about brown bears.  It is very through and includes all of the grizzly details.

I have been reading a book about the history of WD-40, it is non friction.

I ordered a book of jokes online 2 years ago I finally got it.

Dystopian novels are so 1984.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Show me a family of readers, and I will show you the people who move the world.” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

Friday Funny September 19, 2025 Dinosaur Jokes

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Happy Friday!  This week, I dug up some really old jokes for you, some dinosaur jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the dinosaur who took a bath? He became ex-stinked.

Did you hear about the dinosaur that crossed the road to eat the chickens on the other side?

Do you know what dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.

Did you know that the scariest dinosaur was the Terror-dactyl?

Would you call twin dinosaurs pair-odactyls?

If there was a dinosaur that never gives up, would you call it a Try-try-try-ceratops?

If there was a dinosaur that made sure the other dinosaurs obeyed the law, would you call it a Tricera-cops?

If there was a dinosaur who was really good in a rodeo, would you call it a Bronco-saurus?

If there was a dinosaur that worked at an ice cream shop, would you call it a Diplodocones?

If there was a dinosaur made of cheese, would you call it a Gorgonzilla?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.” ~ Henrik Ibse

Friday Funny September 12, 2025 Cell Phone Jokes

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Happy Friday!  I am amazed at how much we rely on our cell phones these days.  Maybe we can rely on them for a laugh this Friday.

Enjoy!

I heard that Apple is announcing a new cell phone geared for children, iKid you not.

I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list. Now I reallt am Hanns free.

Did you that Italians have the highest cell phone bills because they are always Roman.

The other day a cat called me on my cell phone.  All it said was, “Can you hear meow?”

I read about a guy who used a smuggled cell phone in prison. He had cell coverage.

My cell phone has been wearing glasses since it lost its contacts.

I heard that the only thing cell phones order at dinner are apps.

I read about a cell phone that was on trial, it was guilty as charged.

Would you call a cellphone company that uses nuclear power, Cher-Mobile?

I heard about a guy who traded his car for an old cellphone, now he’s got No-kia.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Men have become the tools of their tools.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Friday Funny September 5, 2025 Jokes to Kick Off the NFL Season

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This week brings us a new NFL season, so let’s kick it off with some jokes!

Enjoy!

I heard that the least favorite drink for football players is penal-tea.

I heard that Tom Brady can’t listen to music because he broke all the records.

I heard that the Bengals defensive players spent their offseason shopping at the tackle shop.

I heard that Dak Prescott tried to tell a joke to his receivers but it was over their heads.

Is it true that football centers wear hiking shoes?

Is it true that the player easiest target with the football is the wide receiver?

Did you hear about what happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during the game? He got called for ineligible retriever downfield.

Did you hear about the football punter who decided to marry his high school sweetheart because she was a fair catch?

What did the football player say to the flight attendant? “Put me in coach!”

My aim with this week\s post was to share some football jokes that made you laugh, that was my goal post.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.” ~Vince Lombardi

Friday Funny August 22, 2025 Jokes to Give You Sheep Thrills

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Happy Friday!  Hope all is well in your world.  This week’s offering is some sheep jokes to give you a sheep thrill.

Enjoy!

Would you call a flock of sheep tumbling down a hill a lambslide?

I heard that the favorite sport of sheep is baadminton.

I heard that sheep are terrible drivers.  They are always making ewe turns.

I heard that the favorite musical instrument for sheep to play is a ewekulele.

I heard that the favorite site for sheep to watch videos is EweTube.

If you were suddenly surrounded by a flock of sheep would you say you had been lambushed?

I read about a lady who was viciously attacked by a flock of sheep. No one stepped in to try to stop the bleating.

Did you hear about the farmer who kept his newborn lambs in nInc-ewe-bators?

Did you hear about the sheep who called the police because he had been fleeced?

Did you hear about the flock of sheep that lacked sufficient computer power? There was not enough ram.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Friday Funny August 15, 2025 Back to School Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Another summer has flown by!  With many kids starting back to school this week, seems like a great time for some back to school jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the math teacher who was sad for school to begin because it meant the end of sum-mer?

Did you hear about the boy who went to school with his pants tucked into his socks to protect himself from mathema-ticks?

Is it true that for lunch math teachers bring square meals?

If you crossed a tree with a math teacher, would you get arithma-sticks?

I once gave my history teacher a gift but she didn’t like the present.

Did you hear about the square and triangle who went to the gym to stay in shape?

Did you hear about the teacher who tied all the kid’s shoelaces together? They had a big class trip.

Did you hear about the student who dropped his accounting course because it was too taxing?

Did you hear about the computer who was late for school because it had a hard drive?

Did you hear about the block of cheese who did not like her teacher because she was a hard grater?

Did you hear about the music teacher who get locked out of her classroom because she left her keys on the piano?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Some students drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.”~ E.C. McKenzie

Friday Funny August 8, 2025 Going Out On A Limb For Some Jokes

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Happy Friday!  I hope I am not barking up the wrong tree this week, but I thought I would share some tree jokes with you.  I probably should leaf the puns alone.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the tree that got promoted to branch manager?

Did you hear about the tree that went to the dentist because it needed a root canal?

Did you hear about the tree that refused to play checkers because it was a chess nut?

Did you hear about the wise, old tree that offered sage advice?

Would you call a tree that can write verse a poetree?

Is it true that a tree’s favorite soda is root beer?

Is it true that a tree’s favorite band is The Beech Boys?

Is it true that a tree’s favorite movie is Pulp Fiction?

Is it true that a tree’s favorite pasta is spaghet-tree?

Is it true that trees do not like Hallmark movies because they are too sappy?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun. “ ~ Napoleon Hill

Friday Funny August 1, 2025 Take Stock of These Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Happy August!  Let’s kick off the month with some stock market jokes.

Enjoy!

I’ve been feeling lonely so I purchased some stocks. It’s nice to have a little bit of company.

Last week I purchased stock in Bose Corporation.  It seems like a sound investment.

This week I sold my Nike stock.  It had a good run.

Today I sold my stock in Scott Tissue after it touched a new bottom.

Last year I purchased Coca Cola stock, but it fizzled.

Today I purchased Caterpillar stock, it inched up a bit.

Did you hear about the stock broker who got electrocuted when he shorted Tesla?

I recently made an investment in a skateboard company.  I think I can flip it.

I heard that Henry Winkler committed investment fraud.  It was a Fonzie scheme

I am considering selling investments in this blog, but I afraid that people will think it is a punzi scheme.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent.” ~ John Maynard Keynes

Friday Funny July 25, 2025 Jokes You Can Copy

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Happy Friday!  As we come to the end of another work week, let’s stop for a minute and ponder the ubiquitous office copier.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the photocopier that went to see a therapist because it had a lot of unresolved image issues?

Did you hear about the photocopier who brought a ladder to work because it needed a higher resolution?

Did you hear about the technician that fell into the copier?  He was beside himself.

Did you know that photocopiers are terrible singers because they are toner-deaf ?

Did you hear about the copier salesman who dreamed about finding a totally new color of ink to sell? He woke up and realized it was all a pigment of his imagination!

Did you hear about the counterfeiters who were shopping for a brand-new copier because they needed one in mint condition.

Do you know how photocopier’s watch movies?  Paper-view

My photocopier is like a magician; it can make important documents disappear.

I tried putting my lunch on the photocopier at work, but all I got was a paper jam.

My HP printer died today.  It was like a Brother to me.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The best way to enjoy your job is to imagine yourself without one.” ~ Oscar Wilde