Tag Archives: Business

Friday Funny October 14, 2022 Jokes That Mean Business

Happy Friday!  It looks like fall has started to arrive with the leaves changing colors and starting to fall.  As we wrap up another work week, here are some work-related jokes.

Enjoy!

My boss tasked me with setting up the company’s 401k. I am pretty nervous about it; I do not think I can run that far.

My boss told me that he expects me to be on call 24/7. No big deal, the 24th of July is nine months away.

My boss asked if I could perform under pressure. I said, “No, but I can do a pretty mean Bohemian Rhapsody”

My boss doesn’t tolerate any beards or mustaches. He’s a real shave driver.

My boss said he races horses. I said, “Wow, you must be a really fast runner!”

When I arrived at work this morning, my boss handed me a brochure on anger management. I just lost it.

I bought my boss some maracas for Christmas. He keeps talking about how he wants to shake things up.

I got fired from my job at the coffee factory. My boss said it was because I had no filter.

I told my boss that I was tired of being a human cannonball.  Then he fired me. I wonder how long it will take them to find a replacement of my caliber?

I recently quit my job to start a cloning business and it’s been great; I love being my own boss.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere.” ~ Charles Kettering

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Friday Funny October 12, 2018 Business Jokes

Happy Friday!  Congratulations for surviving yet another work week and speaking of work, here is a little workplace humor to wrap up your work week.

Enjoy!

My boss is very easygoing. He told me not to think of him as the boss, rather, think of him as a friend who is never wrong.”

I tried to begin a limousine business. But despite putting all my money and effort into it, I never even got my first customer…all that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

I once had a job assisting a one-armed typist with capital letters.. it was shift work.

I recently applied for a job as an inspector at a mirror factory, it is something I could see myself doing.

My wife tells me that I talk in my sleep all the time. But I do not buy it, nobody at work ever mentions it.

If business slows down at a medicine factory could you hear a cough drop?

Did the electrician decide to close business one day a week because business was light?

Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man who tried to make a success in the stone quarry business? It turned out that it was a pyramid scheme all along

 Committee Meeting Rules
1) Never arrive on time, this marks you as a beginner.
2) Don’t say anything until the meeting is half over; this marks you as being wise.
3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular since this is what everyone is waiting for.

Thought for the Week

To get something done a committee should consist of no more than three people, two of whom are absent.  ~Robert Copeland

http://www.quotegarden.com