Category Archives: Friday Funny

Friday Funny October 31, 2025 Jokes Dressed For Halloween

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Happy Friday!  Happy Halloween!  I rounded up some Halloween jokes for you.  There are not any skeleton jokes, I do not find them humerus.

Enjoy!

I once dressed up as a Brillo pad for Halloween, but it was just too abrasive for some people.

I once dressed up as a harp for Halloween.  Someone told me that my costume was too short to be a harp.  I think they were calling me a lyre.

I once dressed up as a spoon for Halloween.  I was a cereal killer.

I once dressed up as a horse for Halloween.  I was a real night mare.

I once dressed up as a cat for Halloween.  But I was allergic to the costume and ended up not feline well.

One Halloween I wore a sheet covered with picture of jalapenos.  I was a Ghost Pepper.

One Halloween I just carried a sign that said, “I love ceilings.” Someone asked me what I was supposed to be, I simply said, “I’m a ceiling fan.”

I was thinking about buying a police costume for Halloween. But I am cheap, so I think I will just go undercover.

I was thinking of dressing up as a Band-Aid for Halloween.  But I think it would be hard to pull off.

I think the term “Halloween costume” is outdated.  I think we should use the term “occultural appropriation.”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“We all go a little mad sometimes.” ~ Norman Baters, Psycho

Friday Funny October 24, 2025 Jokes Are Fall-ing

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It feels like fall has arrived and fall means leaves are falling.  Sounds like time for some tree jokes.

Enjoy!

One time a lumberjack told me he had cut down 5,982 trees during the year.  I asked him how he knew the exact number.  He said that he kept a log.

Somone asked me what I knew about bonsai trees, I replied, “very little.”

I heard that introverted trees are afraid of being chopped down because they don’t want to dialog.

You know trees are like a good friend, they stick around.

Did you hear about the lonely tree that could never stop thinking about high school? She is still pining to be one of the poplar kids.

Growing up I was best friends with a kid who had a really neat treehouse we would hang out in every day.  Unfortunately we had a falling-out.

If you crossed a salmon with a tree branch would you get fish sticks?

A tree was telling me about his retirement plan, he has  Fir01k fully invested  in the stick market.

If you invite a tree to your party, just remember that they will be the last one to leaf.

I would you tell you a joke about tree-free paper but it’s tear-able.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“He who plants a tree plants hope.” ~  Lucy Larcom

Friday Funny October 17, 2025 Read These Jokes And Call Me In the Morning.

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Let’s kick off the day with some morning jokes.

Enjoy!

Every morning, when I go out, I get hit by the same bike.  It is a vicious cycle.

Someone keeps dropping off Lego blocks at my front door every morning. I don’t know what to make of it.

Someone keeps dropping a bunch of celery at my front door every morning. I think I am being stalked.

When you go to church in the morning you say, “Amen.” So, if you go to church in the afternoon do you say, “Pmen”?

The other morning, I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers and I thought to myself, I really should wash the coffee cups.

Once, early in the morning, I snuck onto a beach.  The coast was clear.

One morning I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth. The rest of the day I spoke with a weird axe scent.

This morning, I made a chicken salad, the silly bird did not even look at it.

This morning, I caught my kids with graphing paper. I’m pretty sure they are plotting something.

I find it pretty easy to roll out of bed in the morning.  On the other hand, getting up off the floor is not as easy.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” ~ Groucho Marx

Friday Funny October 10, 2025 – Friday Fun At The Office

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Happy Friday! This week, I have done some deep Internet research to offer you some tips on how to make this Friday fun and memorable at work.

Enjoy!

Start the day by sending an e-mail to everyone saying that there are donuts in the break room, if someone says they were all gone then just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, “Oh you’ve got to be faster than that.” See how long it takes until the last person stops believing you.   Repeat at lunch time sending out an email that there is free pizza.

Send email to yourself engaging yourself in a spirited debate about the direction of one of your company’s products/services or this week’s football schedule. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask them to settle the argumant.

Compose all your e-mails using only the wingdings font.

Put a sign on your photocopier that says “New Copier – Voice activated – please speak your command” Just sit back, watch and listen.

Call your boss’s voice mail and leave the following message: “We’re not sure if you wanted us to do it, you know, after what happened, so, well, we went ahead and did it anyway. If you don’t like it, we can probably take it out, but we’ll have to charge you extra. Please return this call immediately. Thanks.”

Enlist a co-worker and have a contest to see who can sign the boss’s email address up for the most email alerts/newsletters in an hour.

Make today the day that you determine just how many cups of coffee is “too many.”

Bring a karaoke machine and set it up in the break room, only have Halloween songs or songs with yodeling.

For one hour, page yourself on the intercom every five minutes; do not disguise your voice.

For one hour, after every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “That is a great idea, Mon.”

For one hour, speak with an accent (French, Indian, Elmer Fudd, etc.)

Put hole reinforcing circles on the center of your eyeglasses. If you don’t wear glasses try to cover your nose with them.

If a co-worker sneezes, quickly yell “SHUT UP!” If they sneeze a second time, follow up with “I SAID SHUT UP!”  A third time, leave the room while saying “NO ONE EVER LISTENS TO ME!”

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi.”

Thought for the Week

“There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.”  ~David Letterman

Friday Funny October 2, 2025 Disappointing Jokes.

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Happy Friday!  The baseball playoffs began this week and I will admit that I am disappointed that the Reds made a quick exit stage left.  So, let’s turn disappointment into a few laughs.

Enjoy!

Gravity is such a disappointment; it always lets me down.

I recently bought a DVD on dealing with disappointment. When I opened it, the box was empty.

Am I the only one that finds it disappointing that the word “stealth” doesn’t have a silent letter in it?

I was disappointed when I tried track in high school and I couldn’t even jump one hurdle, but I got over it.

I was so disappointed with my pillow case. Turns out that it is nothing but a sham.

I was so disappointed with the documentary on mathematical functions I watched.  The plot line was predictable and the special f(x) was awful too.

I was so disappointed when I went to the new court house themed restaurant. all they gave me was frozen water, just-ice was served.

I was so disappointed when I told a chemistry joke but there was no reaction.

Would you call a disappointed cat a sigh-amise?

Would you call a disappointed giant a sigh-clops?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Friday Funny September 26, 2025 Book Jokes That Are Bound To Make You Laugh

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Happy Friday! I hope these jokes about books bring you a smile or two.

Enjoy!

I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov’s Dog and Schrodinger’s Cat. She said it rang a bell but wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

I went to the library for a book to teach me how to fix my car’s automatic transmission, but they only had manuals.

Did you know that they don’t allow accountants in libraries because they are bookkeepers?

I am writing a book on how tornados and hurricanes develop, so far it is just a draft.

I am writing a book about the things I should be doing in life, it’s an ought-to- biography.

I am writing a book about time travel; it is really making me think outside the clocks.

I have been reading a book about brown bears.  It is very through and includes all of the grizzly details.

I have been reading a book about the history of WD-40, it is non friction.

I ordered a book of jokes online 2 years ago I finally got it.

Dystopian novels are so 1984.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Show me a family of readers, and I will show you the people who move the world.” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

Friday Funny September 19, 2025 Dinosaur Jokes

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Happy Friday!  This week, I dug up some really old jokes for you, some dinosaur jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the dinosaur who took a bath? He became ex-stinked.

Did you hear about the dinosaur that crossed the road to eat the chickens on the other side?

Do you know what dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.

Did you know that the scariest dinosaur was the Terror-dactyl?

Would you call twin dinosaurs pair-odactyls?

If there was a dinosaur that never gives up, would you call it a Try-try-try-ceratops?

If there was a dinosaur that made sure the other dinosaurs obeyed the law, would you call it a Tricera-cops?

If there was a dinosaur who was really good in a rodeo, would you call it a Bronco-saurus?

If there was a dinosaur that worked at an ice cream shop, would you call it a Diplodocones?

If there was a dinosaur made of cheese, would you call it a Gorgonzilla?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.” ~ Henrik Ibse

Friday Funny September 12, 2025 Cell Phone Jokes

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Happy Friday!  I am amazed at how much we rely on our cell phones these days.  Maybe we can rely on them for a laugh this Friday.

Enjoy!

I heard that Apple is announcing a new cell phone geared for children, iKid you not.

I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list. Now I reallt am Hanns free.

Did you that Italians have the highest cell phone bills because they are always Roman.

The other day a cat called me on my cell phone.  All it said was, “Can you hear meow?”

I read about a guy who used a smuggled cell phone in prison. He had cell coverage.

My cell phone has been wearing glasses since it lost its contacts.

I heard that the only thing cell phones order at dinner are apps.

I read about a cell phone that was on trial, it was guilty as charged.

Would you call a cellphone company that uses nuclear power, Cher-Mobile?

I heard about a guy who traded his car for an old cellphone, now he’s got No-kia.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Men have become the tools of their tools.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Friday Funny September 5, 2025 Jokes to Kick Off the NFL Season

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This week brings us a new NFL season, so let’s kick it off with some jokes!

Enjoy!

I heard that the least favorite drink for football players is penal-tea.

I heard that Tom Brady can’t listen to music because he broke all the records.

I heard that the Bengals defensive players spent their offseason shopping at the tackle shop.

I heard that Dak Prescott tried to tell a joke to his receivers but it was over their heads.

Is it true that football centers wear hiking shoes?

Is it true that the player easiest target with the football is the wide receiver?

Did you hear about what happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during the game? He got called for ineligible retriever downfield.

Did you hear about the football punter who decided to marry his high school sweetheart because she was a fair catch?

What did the football player say to the flight attendant? “Put me in coach!”

My aim with this week\s post was to share some football jokes that made you laugh, that was my goal post.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.” ~Vince Lombardi

Friday Funny August 22, 2025 Jokes to Give You Sheep Thrills

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Happy Friday!  Hope all is well in your world.  This week’s offering is some sheep jokes to give you a sheep thrill.

Enjoy!

Would you call a flock of sheep tumbling down a hill a lambslide?

I heard that the favorite sport of sheep is baadminton.

I heard that sheep are terrible drivers.  They are always making ewe turns.

I heard that the favorite musical instrument for sheep to play is a ewekulele.

I heard that the favorite site for sheep to watch videos is EweTube.

If you were suddenly surrounded by a flock of sheep would you say you had been lambushed?

I read about a lady who was viciously attacked by a flock of sheep. No one stepped in to try to stop the bleating.

Did you hear about the farmer who kept his newborn lambs in nInc-ewe-bators?

Did you hear about the sheep who called the police because he had been fleeced?

Did you hear about the flock of sheep that lacked sufficient computer power? There was not enough ram.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” ~ C.S. Lewis