Tag Archives: Sleep

Friday Funny September 4, 2020 More Sleep Jokes

Happy Friday and welcome to September!  Labor Day weekend brings with it the unofficial end of a very strange summer.  2020 has brought many concerns that might have caused you to loose some sleep.  If you cannot sleep maybe you can ponder a few sleep related jokes while you stare at the ceiling.

Enjoy!

Apparently, I snore so loudly that I can scare all the passengers in my car while I am driving.

Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.  I am about ready to return it to Ikea.

I purchased an off-brand Memory foam mattress; it cannot remember who I am.

I know a couple who bought a water bed back when they were popular.  Since then they have drifted apart.

I read that almost one-third of people let their pet sleep on the bed with them.  I thought I would give it a try, my goldfish died.

They say that everyone dreams in black and white.  I am pretty sure that my dreams are in color.  Could it just be a pigment of my imagination?

I was going to tell you about my dream involving a Lion, a Witch and a Wardrobe, but I decided that it is Narnia business.

Once I had a disturbing dream where I was trapped in Panama during a snowstorm. It turns out I was just dreaming of a white isthmus

The other night I had a dream that I was swimming in an entire ocean of  orange soda, it turns out it was just a Fanta sea.

I had a recurring dream once.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

Sleep: a poor substitute for caffeine. ~Author Unknown

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Friday Funny October 19, 2018 Sleep on It

Happy Friday!  After a long week, many look forward to some rest and relaxation over the weekend.  Here is wishing you rest and sweet dreams.

Enjoy!

I have a condition that makes me eat when I can’t sleep, it’s called Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia!”

I do not think I am an early bird nor a night owl.  I am more of a permanently exhausted pigeon.

I got paid for being part of a study at the sleep clinic, yes it was my dream job.

The most consistent exercise I get is tossing and turning all night.

One night I dreamed I was a muffler. When I woke up I was exhausted.

Another night I dreamed that I’d written “The Lord of the Rings.” When I mentioned this to my wife she said that I’d been Tolkien in my sleep.

My friend asked me if they could borrow some sleeping pills. I said “Sure, knock yourself out.”

If there was an elephant who had trouble sleeping would you give him a trunkquillizer?

I heard that Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight not because he’s afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.

Studies have shown that the amount of sleep required by an average person is ten more minutes.

If your iPad making is making you fall asleep, I heard there’s a nap for that.

I vow not to sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia.

Thought for the Week

“What hath night to do with sleep?” ― John Milton, Paradise Lost