Category Archives: Friday Funny

Friday Funny December 20, 2024 More Santa Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Christmas is less than a week away so it is time for some Santa jokes.

Enjoy!

If Kris Kringle takes a vacation, would that be a Santa pause?

I heard that Santa went to the podiatrist because he had mistletoes.

Is it true that reindeer decorate their antlers with horn-aments?

I heard that Santa Claus joined Instagram because he wanted online presents.

Did you know Santa Claus has trouble spelling because he thinks there’s No-L?

Did you know that Santa’s elves drive to work in minivans?

The reason that Santa comes down the chimney instead of through the door is because it soots him.

I read that Santa’s keeps his clothes clean by washing them with (Yule)Tide.

I heard that when Santa met Mrs. Claus for the first time, it was love at frost sight.

I read that Santa installed GPS on his sleigh because he doesn’t want to be a lost Claus.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” ~ Robert Paul

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You can find my latest podcast at the following link – https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-leonard-looks-at-life-126237165/episode/ghosts-of-christmas-past-249725566/

Friday Funny December 13, 2024 Christmas Tree Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Christmas is fast approaching, so it seemed like a good time for some Christmas Tree jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the Christmas tree that went to the barber because it needed a trim?

Is it true that a Christmas tree’s favorite candy is orna-mints?

I heard that Christmas trees are bad at knitting because they always drop their needles.

I heard that Christmas trees so fond of the past because the present’s beneath them.

Did you hear what the Christmas tree did after it’s bank closed? It started its own branch.

Did you know that young trees that want to learn to become Christmas trees go to elemen-tree school?

Did you hear about the Christmas tree that went to the dentist because it needed a root canal?

Did you hear about the soldier who snuck behind enemy lines disguised as a Christmas tree? He was a decorated veteran.

Would you call a Christmas tree that knows Kung Fu, Spruce Lee?

I put a string of popcorn on my Christmas tree.  I think it looks butter now.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Some Christmas tree ornaments do a lot more than glitter and glow, they represent a gift of love given a long time ago.” ~ Tom Baker

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You can find my latest podcast here:

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-leonard-looks-at-life-126237165/episode/rethinking-rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer-247520104/

Friday Funny December 6, 2024 Candy Cane Jokes

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Happy Friday!  With Christmas fast approaching, it seemed like a like a good time to unwrap some candy cane jokes.

Enjoy!

Santa never has to worry about the state of his candy cane collection because  they are all in mint condition.

When a gingerbread man breaks his leg, does he use candy canes?

If a candy cane could talk, would he say what he mint?

I heard that the candy cane crossed the road to avoid getting licked.

If a candy cane was sad, would it be red, white, and blue?

If a dog ate to many candy canes would it have a peppermint bark?

Would you call a sharpened candy cane a spearmint?

Candy canes are kind of like relationships—sweet, with a few twists.

Would a candy cane’s favorite subject in school be Math-mint-ics?

Would a candy cane’s favorite types of fruit be candy-lopes and cle-mint-ines?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?” – Bob Hope

You can find my latest podcast at

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-leonard-looks-at-life-126237165/episode/what-to-wear-245178273/

Friday Funny November 29, 2024 Leftover Jokes

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Happy Friday!  I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving Day.  Now is the time for leftovers and shopping.  So, here are some leftover jokes.

Enjoy!

It seems like every year I find myself eating leftovers from Thanksgiving for weeks afterwards.  Not this year though, I’m quitting cold turkey.

I was planning on taking Thanksgiving leftovers home, alas my plans were foiled

Thanksgiving leftovers are always good, until they’re not.

The waitress asked me if I wanted a box for our leftovers. I said no but I’ll wrestle you for it.

Did you hear about the cheese that did not want to get sliced because it had grater plans?

You know baking puns are a piece of cake, but cooking puns are hard-boiled.

You might think cooking puns are rare, but they’re well-done in every way.

If you are making a salad, one needs romaine calm.

I heard about the baker who nervous because he had whisked everything.

Did you hear about the pie that went to the dentist because it needed a filling?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count.” ~  Neal A. Maxwell

You can find my latest podcast here:

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-leonard-looks-at-life-126237165/episode/thanksgiving-242845759/

Friday Funny November 22, 2024 A Baker’s Dozen of Thanksgiving Jokes

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Happy Friday!  It is hard to believe that this is the Friday before Thanksgiving!  I want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for letting me bring you a few laughs.

Thanks to you, this blog has had more than 20,000 views this year!

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the cranberries that turned red because they saw the turkey dressing?

How many bakers does it take to make a pie? 3.14.

If turkeys had a prom would it be called the Butterball?

Would you call an especially attractive pilgrim a puri-ten?

Do sweet potatoes wear their yammies to bed?

Is it true that turkeys gobble because they never learned table manners?

Did you know that little pumpkins cross the road with the help of a crossing gourd?

Did you know that the preferred drinking glass for a turkey is a goblet?

Did you hear about the turkey that wanted to play baseball so that he could cover first baste?

If you are having a Friendsgiving would you invite a group of pal-grims?

Did you hear about the green beans that tried out to be in the Thanksgiving play? They landed the casse-role.

Last Thanksgiving a policeman pulled me over on my way home for exceeding the feed limit.

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.

THOUGHT DOR THE WEEK

“When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”

~ Johnson Oatman, Jr.

If you enjoy the blog, and even if you don’t – jump over to the podcast “Leonard Looks at Life.” Here is a link to the newest episode: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-leonard-looks-at-life-126237165/episode/connecting-with-the-past-240188092/

Friday Funny November 15, 2024 Rustling Up Some Cowboy Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Hope you have had a good week.  I have rounded up some cowboy jokes to kick the weekend off.

Enjoy!

A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, “Sure, that’s 20 cows.”

A cowboy goes into a library wearing a paper suit and paper hat. He wasn’t there five minutes before he was arrested for rustling.

Did you hear about the new cowboy film called The Sun? It is set in the west.

Did you know that Canadian cowboys have sticky feet because of maple stirrups?

Did you hear about the great cowboy artist who could draw really fast?

Did you hear about the cowboy who would take hay to bed so he could feed his nightmare?

Do you know how to warm up a frozen cowboy? Yee thaw!

If a cowboy finds a horseshoe does that mean that his horse is walking around in his socks?

Would you call a retired cowboy de-ranged?

Would you a cowboy who worked at a bank, the loan arranger?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” ~ Will Rogers

Friday Funny November 8, 2024 Jokes If You Are Bored

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Happy Friday!  Halloween and Election Day are behind us and it is three weeks until Thanksgiving.  Hopefully, this is not a boring time for you, but if it is, here are some jokes about being bored.

Enjoy!

I was so bored that I memorized six pages of a dictionary.  I learned next to nothing.

The other day I was bored and hit my flat screen tv with a hammer, it broke, obviously.  So, I took it to Best Buy to get it fixed, and the woman at the counter said they can’t fix hammers.

I read about some scientists who got so bored after watching the Earth spin for 24 hours that they just called it a day.

I’ve been bored recently so I decided to take up fencing. The neighbors said they will call the police unless I put it back.

I remember once that my brother and I got so bored, we started throwing spice jars at each other, then the thyme really flew.

Last week I was bored, so I decided it might be fun to swap around the labels on my wife’s spice rack. She hasn’t noticed yet, but mark my words, the thyme is cumin.

Do you know what a termite does when it gets bored? Pretty much anything to break up the mahogany.

Sometimes when I get bored, I see how many different watches I can strap onto my wrists. I have too much time on my hands.

Last week I went to a lecture about lamps. I thought it would be boring,  but it was very illuminating.

I am so boring person that someone stole my identity and then tried to give it back.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Life is never boring, but some people chose to be bored.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Friday Funny November 1, 2024, Jokes for Your Sweet Tooth

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Happy Friday!  Odds are that although Trick or Treat is over, there may is some candy around your house.  So, how about some candy jokes to sweeten up the weekend?

Enjoy!

Is it true that the most popular candy on the playground is recess pieces?

If someone gave you a stolen Hershey bar, would it be hot chocolate?

Is it true that the bubble gum crossed the road because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot?

Is it true that for Trick or Treat whales give out blubber gum?

Is it true that cannibal’s favorite candy is Mentos?

Is it true that the most common parasites on candy corn is gummy worms?

Did you hear about the candy maker who thought he was seeing double? Turned out that his mind was playing Twix on him.

Did you hear about the candy cane who could talk? Apparently, he said what he mint.

I think there is a big similarity to music similar and candy.  You can enjoy either one, once you throw away the rapper.

If you tell a joke to candy, it probably will not laugh, but you might get Snickers.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Years are like candy bars. We’re paying more, but they’re getting shorter.” ~ Charles M. Schulz

Friday Funny (Monday Extra) October 28, 2024 Even More Halloween Jokes

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Happy Friday- I mean Monday. I missed sending a funny last Friday, but with Halloween at the doorstep, I could not resist some Halloween Jokes.

Enjoy!

If a ghost cow laughed, would it go “Moo-ha-ha-ha”?

Do little ghosts have to fasten their sheet belts when they get in the car?

Would you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts a Pharaoh Roche?

Did you hear about the skeleton beauty contest that was won by no body?

I heard that a vampire’s favorite fruit is a Neck-tarine.

I heard that when a skeleton wants to   go for a fun night, he is always looking for a hip joint.

Is it true that vampires do not like being investment bankers because they do not like stakeholders?

If a pumpkin was a minister would it preach from the pulp-it?

Is it true that skeletons cannot play church music because they have no organs?

I have more skeleton jokes, but I did not think you would find them very humerus.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“You’ve heard of the fury of a woman scorned, haven’t you? Well, that’s nothing compared to the fury of a woman who has been cheated out of tricks-or-treats.” ~ Linus, It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown

Friday Funny October 18, 2024 Random Thoughts for Friday

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Happy Friday!  There is a chill in the air as we come to the second half of October.  Here are some random thoughts/jokes to kick off this Friday.

Enjoy!

I heard that some engineers have made a car that can run on mint. I am waiting to see if they can make buses and trains that run on thyme. 

Word of advice, never get into a fight with Tryptophan, it’s amino acid.

Did you hear about the database administrator who was good at her job? She had great table manners.

Is the proper way to use a stress ball throwing it at the last person to upset you?

I am thinking we have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. Dr. said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden. 

I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!

I was going to tell a carpentry joke but I couldn’t find any that woodwork.

I sympathize with batteries. I’m not included in anything either.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”~ L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables