Happy Friday! There is a lot going on in the world, hopefully you can chuckle at a couple of cow jokes.

Enjoy!

Would you call a cow that drinks too much coffee over-calfinated?

Would you call a grass-fed cow a lawn moo-er?

Would you call a rude cow beef jerky?

If one cow was spying on another cow would that be called a steak out?

When little cows go to school, do they eat lunch in the calf-eteria?

Is it true that the cow crossed the road to get to the udder side?

Is it true that the cow jumped over the moon because she wanted to see udder space?

Did you know that the reason why a milking stool only has three legs is because the cow has the udder?

What did the coach say to motivate his team of  cows? “Now get out there and give me 2 percent!”

If you feel like you’ve herd all these cow puns before, you’re probably just experiencing deja-moo.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ~ Dale Carnegie

Happy Friday!  Welcome to the fourth quarter of 2024!  The year is flying by.  This weekend, I will have the privilege to see some of my extended family members and spend a little time back where my family has been for many generations.  It seems appropriate then to kick off this Friday with some family jokes.

Enjoy!

Family reunions are the place where embarrassing stories become legendary tales.

Family reunions are sort of like software updates, you never know what improvements or glitches you’ll discover.

Family reunions are where we put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional.

When I was a young child, I had a rare disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day.  Luckily, my big brother discovered it and helped me stay on track with the cure.

When I was young, my sister thought she was so smart.  She said onions are the only food that makes you cry. I threw a coconut at her and proved her wrong.

You know, I wouldn’t trade my siblings for the world.  I don’t have anywhere to put it.

My Uncle used to say, “When one door closes, another opens.”  He was a decent philosopher, but not so great as a cabinet maker.

A sweater is something that you put on when your mother gets cold.

I once asked my Dad if he could explain a solar eclipse to me.  He replied, “No sun.”

My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he turned 60. By the time he was in his 80’s, we had no idea where he was.

You know families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts mixed in.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“‘Ohana’ means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” —Lilo & Stitch.

Happy Friday!  Summer flew by and it is now back to school time!  That means it is time for some back-to-school jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the echo who got detention the first day of school because she kept answering back?

Did you hear about the surfer who went to boarding school?

Did you hear about the music teacher who took a ladder to school to reach the high notes?

Did you know that science teachers keep their breath with experi-mints?

Did you know that the favorite meal of a math teacher is a square meal with pi for dessert?

Did you hear about the student who dropped the accounting course because it was too taxing?

Did you hear about the computer who was late for school because he had a hard drive?

I heard they were removing clocks from school libraries because they tock too much.

Did you hear about the English teacher who liked to eat synonym rolls for breakfast?

Is it true that a snake’s favorite subject in school is hiss-tory?

Did you know that the best way to get straight A’s is by using a ruler?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Respect your parents. They passed school without Google.” ~ Unknown