Happy Friday and welcome to December!  That means Christmas is just around the corner and this week we turn our attention to candy canes.

Enjoy!

This is the time of year that you encounter candy canes everywhere.  You will find candy canes on windows, in yards and on Christmas Trees.  The best candy canes are the ones that you can eat, I have always liked peppermint.  According to the National Confectioners Association (NCA), candy canes are the No. 1-selling non-chocolate candy during the month of December.  The biggest single week for candy canes is the second week of December. “Likely because most people decorate their Christmas trees that week,” says Carly Schildhaus, public affairs manager for the NCA.

“Legend has it that the candy cane dates back to 1670, when the choirmaster at the Cologne Cathedral in Germany handed out sugar sticks among his young singers to keep them quiet during the Living Creche ceremony,” Schildhaus says. “In honor of the occasion, he bent the candies into shepherds’ crooks.”

According to Schildhau, white candy canes made their debut in the States 1847 in Wooster Ohio, when August Imgard, a German-Swedish immigrant, decorated a small blue spruce with paper ornaments and candy canes.

Perhaps you, like me, associate candy canes with red and white strips and peppermint flavor; however, there are many variations.  Here are just a few.

Bacon Candy Canes – well, they do say bacon makes everything better. The box promises the smoky, savory flavor of a crispy piece of bacon.  Might be worth a try.

Ham Candy Canes- I suppose if there are bacon flavored canes, there might as well be ham flavored ones as well.  When they come out with egg canes and toast canes, you can have a full and complete breakfast.

Funfetti Candy Canes – it appears there is an attempt to transform Funfetti cake into just about anything.  I am not a big fan of Funfetti cake as cake and I can pass on this one.!

Pickle Candy Canes – the opportunity to enjoy the tangy taste of pickle candy canes?  Sounds like a big dill to me!

Mac & Cheese Candy Canes – Mac & Cheese might be a great comfort food, but as a candy cane?

Ketchup Candy Canes– I guess they are the right color and I suppose someone had to try making the omnipresent tomato-flavored condiment into a candy cane. 

Clam Candy Canes – why?  Just why??

Pizza Candy Canes – Who doesn’t love pizza? But as a candy cane?  Is it thin crust or pan?  New York or Chicago or Detroit style?

Caesar Salad Candy Canes– The list would not be complete without a “healthy option” – right?  Did you say that you like a crunch in your salad?  Well, here you go!

Sour Cream and Onion Candy Canes – That bag of chips is just so messy and greasy so instead of reaching for chips, reach for these candy canes!

Kale Candy Canes – What better way to ruin the whole idea of candy canes than with a kale flavored version?  In a uniquely American way, let’s take a  Superfood load it with sugar and shrink-wrap it in plastic.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in hand.”~Dr. Seuss

Happy Friday!  Thanksgiving is only a week away, so I thought I would beat the holiday rush and deliver some Thanksgiving jokes this week.

Enjoy!

I heard that turkeys prefer to travel by gravy train.

I once met a very the rude turkey, he was a real jerk-y.

Did you know that little pumpkins cross the road with the help of a crossing gourd?

If you crossed a turkey with a centipede, would you get drumsticks for everyone?

We served a cheese plate at Thanksgiving.  I think everyone was grateful.

I heard that the cider mill keeps track of its inventory on an Apple iPad.

I heard about a cranberry that could not go to the Thanksgiving party because it was bogged down with work.

Did you know that Thanksgiving bread jokes stay funny because they never get mold?

What kind of shows do green beans do? Pod casts. 

What did one turkey say to the other turkey when they first saw the pilgrims? “They look nice, maybe they’ll have us over for dinner.”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” —Friedrich Koenig

Happy Friday!  Halloween is a little over a week away, so it is time to scare up some more Halloween jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the little witch whose mom would not allow her to go trick or treating with her friends because she was ex-spelled from school?

Would you call a spider with 20 eyes a spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider?

Is it true that zombies will keep trick or treating until they become dead tired?

Is it true that witches prefer their bagels with scream cheese?

Is it true that a monster’s favorite Halloween game is hide and shriek?

Is it true that on Halloween Elon Musk goes trick-or-tweeting?

What does a turkey dress up as on Halloween? A goblin.

Did you hear about the gloomy jack-o’-lantern? It needed to lighten up.

Why did the ghost cross the road? He wanted to return from the other side.

I heard that before they head out for trick or treating witches put on mas-scare-a.

I heard about a scarecrow who declined dessert because he was already stuffed.

I heard about a tech worker who got turned into a vampire, now he gigabites.

I heard about a vampire who failed his art class because he only knew how to draw blood.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“My Halloween costume was so bad that people opened their doors and took candy from me.” ~Glen Nesbitt

Happy Friday!  Fall is well underway and this is the time of year when it is easy to find quite a few horror movies on television.  If you pay attention you can find some useful lessons in those movies.

Enjoy!

If your friends suggest you, or worse dare you to, stay overnight in an old, abandoned mansion on the outskirts of town, it is a good bet that they are not really your friends.

Real estate tip – don’t ever buy that house that is in a secluded area, surrounded by woods and is available at a “too good to be true” price.  It is just not worth it.

If you find any inexplicably creepy dolls, DO NOT keep them in your house.  Better yet, do not pick them up or even take notice of them.

If you stumble upon a Cursed Book or a Cursed Game – DO NOT open the book or play the game.  Avoid this in the same way you avoid creepy dolls.

The creepy old man that everyone avoids is usually the only one that really understands the situation.  Listen to him and do what he says.

On the other hand, never trust a brilliant psychopath, he is never has your best interests in mind.

Maybe it is a good idea to just keep your cell phone on vibrate, it seems in a horror movie nobody ever has their phone on silent while hiding, and of course, their phone always rings at the worst possible moment.

This is a great time of year to check your flashlight batteries.  Make sure you have an extra set or three. You do not want your flashlights flickering and going at the worst possible moment.

If you hear an odd noise and someone says, “Oh, it’s probably just the wind.”  Run out the front door as fast as you can, get in your car and drive away.

Speaking of cars – keep a tight grip on your keys, do not drop them as you are attempting to make your getaway.

Also, car related, this is a great time to check the condition of your tires, northing stops a getaway faster than a flat tire.

Last item about cars, this is also a great time to check the condition of your battery so that the car will start at that critical moment when the monster/ killer/alien is right at your door.

Despite all your car preparation if for some reason your car will not start and you find yourself running to get away, DO NOT run in a straight line down the middle of the road when being chased by a speeding car.  Try weaving off the road where a car cannot follow you, this is one time where the dense trees of the forest could be your friend.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

 “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”~ Jack Torrance, The Shining (1980)