Happy Friday!  Halloween is a little over a week away, so it is time to scare up some more Halloween jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the little witch whose mom would not allow her to go trick or treating with her friends because she was ex-spelled from school?

Would you call a spider with 20 eyes a spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider?

Is it true that zombies will keep trick or treating until they become dead tired?

Is it true that witches prefer their bagels with scream cheese?

Is it true that a monster’s favorite Halloween game is hide and shriek?

Is it true that on Halloween Elon Musk goes trick-or-tweeting?

What does a turkey dress up as on Halloween? A goblin.

Did you hear about the gloomy jack-o’-lantern? It needed to lighten up.

Why did the ghost cross the road? He wanted to return from the other side.

I heard that before they head out for trick or treating witches put on mas-scare-a.

I heard about a scarecrow who declined dessert because he was already stuffed.

I heard about a tech worker who got turned into a vampire, now he gigabites.

I heard about a vampire who failed his art class because he only knew how to draw blood.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“My Halloween costume was so bad that people opened their doors and took candy from me.” ~Glen Nesbitt

Happy Friday!  Fall is well underway and this is the time of year when it is easy to find quite a few horror movies on television.  If you pay attention you can find some useful lessons in those movies.

Enjoy!

If your friends suggest you, or worse dare you to, stay overnight in an old, abandoned mansion on the outskirts of town, it is a good bet that they are not really your friends.

Real estate tip – don’t ever buy that house that is in a secluded area, surrounded by woods and is available at a “too good to be true” price.  It is just not worth it.

If you find any inexplicably creepy dolls, DO NOT keep them in your house.  Better yet, do not pick them up or even take notice of them.

If you stumble upon a Cursed Book or a Cursed Game – DO NOT open the book or play the game.  Avoid this in the same way you avoid creepy dolls.

The creepy old man that everyone avoids is usually the only one that really understands the situation.  Listen to him and do what he says.

On the other hand, never trust a brilliant psychopath, he is never has your best interests in mind.

Maybe it is a good idea to just keep your cell phone on vibrate, it seems in a horror movie nobody ever has their phone on silent while hiding, and of course, their phone always rings at the worst possible moment.

This is a great time of year to check your flashlight batteries.  Make sure you have an extra set or three. You do not want your flashlights flickering and going at the worst possible moment.

If you hear an odd noise and someone says, “Oh, it’s probably just the wind.”  Run out the front door as fast as you can, get in your car and drive away.

Speaking of cars – keep a tight grip on your keys, do not drop them as you are attempting to make your getaway.

Also, car related, this is a great time to check the condition of your tires, northing stops a getaway faster than a flat tire.

Last item about cars, this is also a great time to check the condition of your battery so that the car will start at that critical moment when the monster/ killer/alien is right at your door.

Despite all your car preparation if for some reason your car will not start and you find yourself running to get away, DO NOT run in a straight line down the middle of the road when being chased by a speeding car.  Try weaving off the road where a car cannot follow you, this is one time where the dense trees of the forest could be your friend.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

 “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”~ Jack Torrance, The Shining (1980)